I don't know what else to do lately. I have been struggling for nearly two months now in a marriage where my husband said that he wanted to be separated but will try so is still here. He doesn't have a "caring interest" "doesn't love me", "could care less" what I do and doesn't want to hear me complain, have emotions, share feelings, ask how things are going to check in, and damned if I say anything at all because just being here seems to piss him off. Sure we are both going to individual counselors and yes it helps some. However, he has told me that :he needs to work on himself before he can work on us. So I'm suppose to sit around and wait for him to come out and find himself.

There is a marriage to work on and though we went to a function last night and it seemed fine today when it came down to me worrying about buying a product for the car and not being taken by the salesman he got agitated as though he didn't want to hear what I had to say. So he tells me"I trust your judgment". That is BS. He doesn't trust me, how am I supopose to react to that.
I am tired. I don't know how much longer I should do this. Do people wait until the end? Do they hang on until they can't give anymore and commit themselves to asylums because the other mentally tortures you with bad? What do I do?

What has been going on in the marriage to bring him to a point where he no longer cares? Have you been treating him with respect and trying to meet his needs? Does he feel valued and respected by you?

Why does he want to be separated?

<small>[ April 18, 2004, 05:33 PM: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</small>

I try to meet his needs. He told me about two months ago that he wanted to separate. HE says that for 5-7 years he has been acting by saying I love you and being around. Our son is 7. Ever since I gave birth he says that I have changed. I don't look the same, I am mean, I am a B----. I don't say I love you back to him. So I am trying to change. However, he won't talk about us. He only assumes. This morning for instance he was on the treadmill and when I asked what speed did he do the treadmill on he said 5.5-7. He got crampy and had to slow it down. I have been doing the treadmill for 2 years and can't get myself to that point. That is a good point to be but I have so much that I worry about and have to do around the house that I can't get there. So I had a discouraging look on my face apparently and he said that I was giving him guilt. I told him it isn't guilt it is jealousy because I have been trying to get there and can't. He told me to get up eariler then and do it or find the time. When??? I have to take our son to reconciliation, I have a meeting to attend for his communion, I go to the store, work, laundry.... When do I have time. I get myself up 15 minutes earlier in the morning to make sure that I put an arm around him because he said he didn't feel like I touched him enough. When do I get something in return?
I am trying to fill every need of his and am discouraged. I don't know how to not be discouraged. IT makes me angry and then he tells me that I project my anger on him. I can't tell him that I feel jealous because he can do something. I can't show emotion. I thought in a marriage you were suppose to be able to share? But with all the giving when do I get something to make me feel like it is worth it?
I love him and will until the day I die. Whether that is sooner or later I don't know. I don't feel like there is any use for me being around anymore and whenever it gets to a point to talk about us he brings up separation.
I am lost, I am drowning and I don't know how to give without getting something, some small spec of care back. He said this morning that no he doesn't love me and doesn't care, how can he when I project on him. That is what I am talking about no emotions. I can't show them, I can't express them but I am suppose to give and cater to his needs. I need help.

I try to meet his needs. He told me about two months ago that he wanted to separate. HE says that for 5-7 years he has been acting by saying I love you and being around. Our son is 7. Ever since I gave birth he says that I have changed. I don't look the same, I am mean, I am a B----. I don't say I love you back to him. So I am trying to change. However, he won't talk about us. He only assumes. This morning for instance he was on the treadmill and when I asked what speed did he do the treadmill on he said 5.5-7. He got crampy and had to slow it down. I have been doing the treadmill for 2 years and can't get myself to that point. That is a good point to be but I have so much that I worry about and have to do around the house that I can't get there. So I had a discouraging look on my face apparently and he said that I was giving him guilt. I told him it isn't guilt it is jealousy because I have been trying to get there and can't. He told me to get up eariler then and do it or find the time. When??? I have to take our son to reconciliation, I have a meeting to attend for his communion, I go to the store, work, laundry.... When do I have time. I get myself up 15 minutes earlier in the morning to make sure that I put an arm around him because he said he didn't feel like I touched him enough. When do I get something in return?
I am trying to fill every need of his and am discouraged. I don't know how to not be discouraged. IT makes me angry and then he tells me that I project my anger on him. I can't tell him that I feel jealous because he can do something. I can't show emotion. I thought in a marriage you were suppose to be able to share? But with all the giving when do I get something to make me feel like it is worth it?
I love him and will until the day I die. Whether that is sooner or later I don't know. I don't feel like there is any use for me being around anymore and whenever it gets to a point to talk about us he brings up separation.
I am lost, I am drowning and I don't know how to give without getting something, some small spec of care back. He said this morning that no he doesn't love me and doesn't care, how can he when I project on him. That is what I am talking about no emotions. I can't show them, I can't express them but I am suppose to give and cater to his needs. I need help. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

ok, robyn, no one can help you unless you present a clearer story and start shooting straight here. First you say you do meet his needs and then you say you have nothing to give and aren't going to give until you get something in return. Which is it?

Why does he say you are mean, are a bit** and don't look the same?

Is that true? Why does he say you are mean?

Are you nice to him? Do you treat him with respect?

Why would you frown when he told you how well he did on the treadmill instead of congratulating him? Why did you do that?

Can you please answer my questions?