I just wanted to make sure that you were doing OK during your period of withdrawl.

mfisher: yes I have been officially NC since yesterday morning, when I confessed to H. OM and I had made contact during the week, mainly emails. let me tell you, it was totally God that my husband suspected something when he did, the OM wife left that day for a week across country... and he was home alone. If I hadn't confessed and now have accountabilty, dark secret exposed, I can see how a PA could have evolved during the coming week.
I deleted all of my IM Id's excpet for the one my H and I use for IM and webcam while he is Iraq, and OM ID is blocked from IM'ing me.
It has been hard. Only 24 hours and counting... Knowing H won't be able to contact me again for a week or so, knowing I am still lonely and depressed... I did send an IM to OM yesterday at H's request to inform him H knew and we (Om & I ) were over. That was it, OM was not online at the time so there was no response.
I miss OM, and I know I shouldn't. But I do. Hard to dislike someone who was sweet and kind to me and brought me happiness in a time of great upheaval in my life. I know I know, it was wrong, and everything... but it didn't "end bad" like many other A's so I can't hate him like my H does. I wish I did. It would be easier if I thought he was a big creep. But he wasn't. Wrong, yes. Lonely, yes. Predator, no.
Anyway, that is the update for now.

Couldn't even go to church today... still not feeling any better on meds yet... just want to sleep all time. Ugh. Just want H to come home so we can start the work we have in front of is on our M. 5 more months....

"Welcome to the fallout,
Welcome to resistance,
The tension is here,
Between who you are and how you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here"
from the song "Dare you to Move" by Switchfoot

MW -

I'm so glad to hear you are where you are...not that I'm glad you are suffering but I'm very glad you are in NC now and I'm glad you have exposed this yourself.

Please hang in there. Give the meds some time to work. If you have a friend that could stay with you (female of course) please ask her to come keep you company. I am a soldiers wife as well. I know how lonely it can be.

This is the toughest time for you to be going through this. Please come here for help. We will help you. I know first hand what it's like to be left at home while your H is fighting in a war.

Does your H's unit have a Family Support Group? Can you talk to the Chaplin? If the Unit's Chaplin is deployed you can speak to the post Chaplin. Can you possibly call the commander's wife or someone in your chain of concern? These people are trained to deal with this situation.

You may also want to consider asking your husband to consider emergency leave. I've seen this situation far too often. When a soldier is in the theater of combat they need to focus on the tasks as hand, if your H is distracted by what is going on back home he may be putting himself and his fellow soldiers at risk.

I've lost many friends during this war. I can tell you right now that when my H was on the front line the last thing I wanted on his mind or the minds of the soldiers watching out for him was what was happening back home.

Just some food for thought. My thoughts are with you.

The job of a military spouse if ofter overlooked when awards are given at the end of a battle.