Here are the facts of what I factually and currently know and about what she IS doing.

Brief:
Me 40
W 30
Son 4
Seperated (physically) since 07-01-02 (emotionally 07-01-01)

Her sitch:
Living alone, no child since 07-01-02

1, Every Wednesday Night (like religion) out at ladies night at the corner bar with a single female work friend from the same apt complex.

2, Every Sat Night same bar, same friend.

3, Friday Nights maybe same bar same friend if not out with me at movies or dinner.

4, Has 4 male callers saved on her voicemail at home.

5, Recieves calls from different numbers at odd times of mornings 2am-3am generally on Thursdays in 20-30 min increments. (she lets me throw out her trash and I find cell bills)

6, Drinks alot and up and down with pot use.

7, When drinking, makes it a point to "close the bar" and is obliteratedly drunk when it closes.

8, Walks home if Friend to drunk to drive. (about 2 blocks from her apt)

9, Over heard her talking to her friend about the guys she talks to at the bar.

10, Calls me up sometimes at 3am after getting home from bar, either friendly sexy talk or wicked mad blaming talk

11, On weekend mornings (generally sundays) she tells me how ripped she got the night before (mostly when I go over there to pick her up for something)(i see the results in her home)

How do I approach her about #4 and #5? I got the numbers from her voicemail (she uses the same passcode that we had)

How can I or should I handle this and let her know that I know and/or what I know?

She claims she still wants to work on us but......

this is your GF!!!

**edited***MB concepts??***Justuss****

<small>[ April 20, 2004, 09:59 AM: Message edited by: Justuss ]</small>

Hunter, the proof is in her actions. Her actions are NOT that of a woman who is looking to live a married life. I think her age has a LOT to do with what she's doing right now. We women go through our own 'mid life crisis' around 30. It's called the 30 year transition. It's when I went off the prarie for about 2 years too. It's a life changing time - and many women get lost in the process. She might find her way back, and she might just decide to keep running.

I DON'T think you're helping the situation by allowing this 'limbo' to continue, however. As long as she doesn't feel any pressure to have to change the situation - she won't. Why do you think it was 2 weeks before our divorce was to be final that I FINALLY decided I'd rather commit to rebuilding our family. I think I could have left it to drag out indefinatly if it weren't for the DV having been filed and moving along.

The other question you need to think about is whether or not you want your wife back after whatever she's been doing these past couple of years. Drinking, drugs, flirting, and more than likely more. Was she different than this before?? Or is this just who she chooses to be?

dude, don't waste any more of your time on her. Find someone mature enough to handle being in a relationship. She's going to cause you more and more grief.

<small>[ April 19, 2004, 11:20 PM: Message edited by: whiteknight ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by hope4future:
<strong> Hunter, the proof is in her actions. Her actions are NOT that of a woman who is looking to live a married life. I think her age has a LOT to do with what she's doing right now. We women go through our own 'mid life crisis' around 30. It's called the 30 year transition. It's when I went off the prarie for about 2 years too. It's a life changing time - and many women get lost in the process. She might find her way back, and she might just decide to keep running.

I DON'T think you're helping the situation by allowing this 'limbo' to continue, however. As long as she doesn't feel any pressure to have to change the situation - she won't. Why do you think it was 2 weeks before our divorce was to be final that I FINALLY decided I'd rather commit to rebuilding our family. I think I could have left it to drag out indefinatly if it weren't for the DV having been filed and moving along.

The other question you need to think about is whether or not you want your wife back after whatever she's been doing these past couple of years. Drinking, drugs, flirting, and more than likely more. [ Was she different than this before?? Or is this just who she chooses to be? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She is a total opposite of who she was when we were together, this is not the woman I was married to for 8 years.

<small>[ April 20, 2004, 04:45 AM: Message edited by: HunterFox ]</small>

Folks, this is a marriage building site...

People come here for support, help and good advice.

Simply telling someone to 'dump the b!tch' seems kinda out of place...

dewt