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talked to H tonight. He stated that he would not stop contact with OW. I stated that the children adn I would be leaving for a few days. He said oh yea use the children against me. What am I supposed to do? He works seconds and can't take care of the kids. I have to get out of here. I cant live with him knowing that I am playing second to that slutty piece of trash.
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R U safe leaving? Are you financially able to leave? Why won't he leave? Does he try to bring the children around the OW?
Make sure you are emotionally strong enough and stable enough before you make any life changing decisions. It is hard but in the long run, it is better.
Note how he accuses you of using the children against him? Instead of defending yourself, ask him against what? Let him explain himself. Maybe if he hears how ridiculous it sounds it might help him break through the fog.
I am sorry you are having to deal with this issue but you need to make sure your heart and mind are in sync before you move forward.
take care,
L.
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Where are you planning to go? Is there any chance in your state that you can have WH removed?
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I could just tell him to leave. That is how calm and no nonsense he is, but he doesnt' want to leave our sons. Well, I am their primary caregiver and that is all there is to that. He still wears wedding ring and sleeps in our bed. In fact we have been intimate this week! But...he refuses to give up talking to her. He says there has been nothing physical, boy she must talk a good talk. Thing is she can't be all that great or she wouldn't have already gone through two husbands! I have plenty of family and friends that I can stay with, besides, I need to have a babysitter for 2S while I work. So, I will stay with someone that can help in that area, too. I am okay with this decision. I WILL NOT play second to the likes of her to a man sleeping in my bed. I am too young to deal with his crap about NC. So whatever!!!
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Forgot to add...yes I am financially able to leave, it will be him that has a problem in this area!
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You and kids should stay in the home and have him move out. Is there anyway you could do that?
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I don't really want to. I need to get away from him and this whole mess for a few days. I will come back, but he needs a taste of what it's like when I decide to do something. One of the biggest problems is I've been a doormat for too long. Doing whatever he wanted. I am tired of that crap. And, I ask OW not to talk to him. She stated okay. Well, I have been very nice to her in not contacting her or the people she works around or her boss, but I'm done with that whole issue also. Her life just became a living nightmare. Her parents are going to get a lovely phone call tomorrow explaining that their darling daughter is messing around with a very married man. Is this an LB...probably, at this point I don't really give a crap!
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Anyone know anything about Ativan? My mom gave me one because I am not sleeping well. I took it a little while ago and seem like I am getting more hyper than tired. Although that could be my p***ed offness coming out. I can't believe he can tell me this NC thing then turn over and go to sleep. What a man! Do I really want to love this man anymore? Why?
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It is not an LB to shed light on the affair. I would let everyone know.
I can tell that you are very hurt. Maybe some time away will be good for you.
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I am extremely hurt. Please read my last post...Will WH ever talk about it...He was acting like everything was fine. What a bunch of crap!
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That is why you can't trust anything they say. You need to watch what they do.
You do realize that it is like an addiction. So even though it is hard, try not to take it personally. You know that it won't last with this OW, so figure out how to outsmart him.
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I thought I had. I told him to make a decision last week when he was on a trip for three days. He came back very family oriented. I thought his decision was his family, but tonight hearing him say he WILL NOT stop all contact with her made me want to physically get ill. He looked me in the face and told me this. Not in a mean way, but just so that's how it's going to be. My plan A just went to H**l in a handbasket didn't it.
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Well I just read that he is a cop. That's not good news. For one thing they usually have kind of an authoritative personality. For another their job exposes them to all kinds of needy women.
Also are you taking any anti-depressants? That might help you deal with this.
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He is a cop....she is a dispatcher!!! I think tomorrow I am going to talk to her boss and maybe his. I don't think this will be beneficial at all. It may just be an act of vindictiveness. But that is where i am right now.
I just took an Ativan. Is that an anti depressent? I don't know, my mom gave it to me to help me sleep. It's 2:15 AM apparently not working. My children are my anti depressants most days. They keep me going.
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I gotta go lay down...I think the ativan is kicking in...I'll check posts tommorrow night. Please give any more suggestions.
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Get to a doctor and get a prescription for some anti-depressants. They really help you do what you need to do.
In the meantime, I would contact OW and tell her it is time to get another job, or you will blow this whole thing wide open.
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I'm back, just can't sleep. Too busy plotting all my moves. Do you think it will help to call OW's parents? They seem like they might be decent people and if not it's not really any loss, right.
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One other problem...OW is being a coward. She won't talk to me or face me. Boy, That's the kind of person I'd want to have an A with! It really agitates me that she is such a looser! Why couldn't he have at least chosen a decent person so I didn't have to worry about our two sons being exposed to her trashy self.
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Sure, call her parents. The best plan is to let everyone know, including those at work. However if you think they will lose their jobs, you might want to take your time and try other things first.
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My H, the cop, has spent hours(3.5) of his shift on the phone with her in the evening. I think his superiors may not be happy with this type of person protecting our city. I don't think she would lose her job. At least that isn't what I would aim for, however being moved to another shift could be an option. I am pulling out the aces tomorrow. I am so anxious that I cant sleep.
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