Hey people,

Yesterday WW spoke to OM for the "last time". She told him not to contact her anymore. She told me this when I came home from work. I told her I was glad she did this. She was sad and told me it was so hard for her to break it off and she felt bad because now she broke OM's heart. I thought (but did not speak...): "and what about MY heart for God's sake?????!!!! I'm your HUSBAND!!!!Don't you think about how I must feel?? I'm DYING here and you are sad about breaking this pr*ck's heart???", but I held my calm and tried to explain that she did not break his heart. He did it to himself. He should have known this could happen when getting involved with a married woman. And that she should not feel sorry, because it was not her concern anymore. All this time I held her in my arms and spoke in a soft, calm voice.
Do you think I handled this ok?
Do you think the NC letter should still be sent? I do, because I really don't know what and how she told him on the phone. I think I'll still suggest sending the letter, but not without me reading it first, right?

Today I asked her to de-activate her hotmail-account. I asked, I didn't insist. First she refused a bit, because she needs MSN/IM for her work. Just an hour ago, she changed the hotmail-adress and even gave me the password for the new account. She shut down the old account.
Boy, I hope these are positive signs. I don't want to get too "happy", if disappointments occur in the next days/weeks, they will be much harder to deal with if I expect too much.

Don't lose hope everyone!
Happiness is a choice
I'll pray for you all.

Congradulations. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I do think the no-contact letter should be sent. Not only should you read it, you should be there when she drops it in the mail.

The email account shutdown is very good. I think you should go ahead and be happy. Just keep in mind that back sliding does happen and you should not be discouraged.

This is where the real work starts, though. Get to work on Emotional Needs questionaires and start rebuilding your marriage. It's important that you not drop the ball at this stage and think that it's over and everything is ok. Time to start making sure that this kind of thing never happens again.

dewt

I even mentioned OM in my prayer at the dinner table that night. I prayed to God to give him strenght to heal his broken heart. My wife looked at me in a strange way and asked why I prayed for OM. She was surprised. I replied that I do not hate him and I just want him to be ok.
You might think I've gone crazy, but I'm just trying to show my wife my best side. I'm Plan A-ing like crazy! Gave her a backrub and footmassage before going to sleep.

Good job, dude. It's called forgiveness and I, for one, don't think you're crazy.

dewt