Just wondering if anyone has experienced this.

I went to my W's apt tonight to drop off our son for the night, (she actually put Ladies Night at the bar aside to watch our son, I am actually shocked considering she has not done this for 3 months in a row), and when I was over there we talked for a while about anything other than us and I had absolutely no feelings for her at all.

I don't know why this is but I felt completely void of any feelings. I felt completely empty and I didn't like the feeling.

Since we have been apart for quite a while it seems like the longer we are apart the less I feel anything for her at times.

It just keeps getting harder and harder to connect with her and I really want to feel connected, this is my wife for god's sake, I should feel something for her. Maybe its just the way she says things that trigger that, I don't know.

When I hear even the slightest positive from her that makes me feel good that there is hope but hope has been feeling emptier and emptier.

So, I am wondering if we really have a snowballs chance in hell.

It's really strange because sometimes she inspires me to want to work on this marriage and then I feel so un-inspired when she says certain things and her body language.

What inspires me is having a family with her and looking back at the good times keep me there.

Maybe she is right that too much damage has been done, i don't know.

One thing I do know is that I don't want to loose my wife. Maybe I'm just trying to hard, but if I don't do something...........

That's completely natural, HF. Think about it - she has not contributed to your love bank in a LONG time, not to mention the fact that she's been making huge withdrawls! Is there a snowballs chance in hell??? Sure. IF she made the changes necessary. Would it be easy and natural? No. The fact is that you would have to convince yourself that it was the right thing to do and 'go through the motions' for a while until the feelings started returning. She would have to really work her tush off to win back your trust - and until you had some trust that she meant what she said, anything she would do wouldn't make much of a difference.

That is exactly what I know.
I am throughly convinced that working together and putting all the BS of anything outside the marriage aside for a while would be an enormous help.

It would not take us long to get those good feelings back, i know what makes her feel good, but she has no desire to want to even give it a slim chance, not even for our son's sake.

But, when she sees how this is ultimately affecting him she gets mad with me and very angry about the whole situation but still she is willing to do nothing for it.

I am the only one willing to work on this marriage because I believe in it and believe in it strongly. She says its going to take time, lots of time. I have given it 2 almost 3 years, basically alleviated her of any responsibility of child raising to give her time and space, I have not put pressure on her but she feels I am.

She says wants to stay married but still wants to go out, have a good time and basically do anything she wants when she wants to do it.

If I make a decision to say "ok HF its time to move on" then I look like the AH for moving on and away from the marriage, but how can we work on it if she isn't there?????

I have been thinking about moving out of state, 1, to get a fresh start and 2, to make her make a decision one way or the other plus I would make about $4-5 an hour more than now. I brought this up to her and she initially threatened to go to court and get a court order to keep our son here, then the next day she was talking about how nice it would be to get a fresh start but then fell back into the "i don't know if I want to do this again" thing.

I am looking to grow my family and want her to be part of it or I would not have married her in the first place and asked her to be my life partner, and I certainly would not have waited this long for her if I didn't have that desire.