First, let me say thank you for all the support and advice. It is amazing to see people willing to reach out in thier own grief to offer support.

As many of you know, my W and I are having a terribly hard time right now. Without going into details, I feel this is as low as we have ever been. The last several weeks, the last couple of days in particular, have been very taxing on me. I beleive in the MB principles, and think that they provide probably the best tools for recovery. But, I feel that I have been too focused on W and the A, and am really worrying myself sick. Part of Plan A is to try to be a better spouse, someone that the other would want to be married to. I do not feel I can do that right now, partly because of this website. I feel that I am obsessing and rehashing everything in my life. I think I need to have my thoughts filled with other things, hopefully to provide some perspective.

I still love my W, it is hard to say that, confusing to say that, but it is true. I hope that a loving marriage is restored, and she will help me understand her thoughts and expectations on what she needs in our M. I am going to focus on us, take away some of the energy that I place here reading and replying to topics (as well as my own) and try to channel it into my M. While I think this is an amazing website, there is also a lot of doom and gloom which I feel that you absorb. In order to try to present a better side of ME, I will be taking some time away from MB. I will still lurk a little, but as of this weekend, I will not post for some time. I ask for your prayers in this period. I feel that I need to try something new, and beleive I need more time in my M without so much of the pain that is unfortunately here.

I can understand what you're saying - very much. Just remember that if things get too stressed-out for you, you can always come here as a "steam-valve".

Wishing you well.

LIR

Betrayed, you need to follow your gut. However, in saying that I also want to say venting on here has actually probably saved my M. Times I have wanted to LB the crap out of H, or just wanted to dump him, folks here have talked some sense into me. Times when I have felt so alone I literally would sob while typing, because I KNEW people here understood.

It's been 3 months since the SH** hit the fan for me. I can tell you that the pain does lessen. Please, as LIR said, if you need an escape valve come her to vent. You don't have to read anyone else's posts. I had to lay off reading the not recovered WS posts because they were too painful for me.

Wishing you the very best! CV

i empathize how you are feeling and have felt the same at times. thoughts and prayers will definitely be coming your way and continue to look to God for support, he never sleeps and he's free.

Dear Betrayed Man.
You are right, this site can be very addictive.
Here I sit, with my curling brush, curling my hair and reading the MB!

Maybe you could just come back and read this thread that you started today and not read everyone else's heartaches and woes!

Years ago, my good sister was attracted to another man. Our much admired and respected Dad had ONE TALK with her, never mentioned it again but his words were all it took to get her on the right road.

What I am saying is agreeing with you.
Re-hashing over and over the A and the problems in the marriage are a mistake.
Once each mate expresses their feelings, in does NOT need to be said OVER and OVER!

I wish you 'peace of mind' more than anything.
And your peace of mind cannot depend upon a circumstance BEYOND YOUR CONTROL.

All you can do is the best you can and be the best H you can be.
That is ALL you can do.

Keep us informed on this thread how things are going. You will be surprised how much more TIME you have if not coming as often to this MB!
We probably all need to use a little more MB discipline!

I am now headed out alone for a one mile walk to the woods for a little picnic and to enjoy this day and God's and my H's forgiveness!

And I am very thankful that God gave me a heart that is able to forgive.
I was taught this my entire life that a Christian HAS to forgive or we will not be forgiven and our prayers will not be heard!

I hope all has been forgiven, 'Betrayed Man', between you and your wife!
Very sincerely, Julie

<small>[ April 22, 2004, 11:36 AM: Message edited by: Blessed TIME ]</small>

Just wondered if you were still reading the MB.
Keep us informed how things are going!
Sincerely, Julie <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />