I thought my wife stopped her A and I want to believe but I saw she received another message on her phone from OM. I don't know if she responded or not. Her sister told me OM was very hard to get rid of after a breakup(sister dated OM before). Wife sister also told me not to worry about OM because Wife had gotten rid of him for good over Easter and she couldn't stand. I want to believe OM is just trying to get her back and she doesn't want him. I am just getting mixed signal. She doesn't talk to me about A. She wears her wedding ring sporadically and she has started sleeping with cell phone on nightstand. I work at nights and think maybe it is so I can't look at it when I get home and she is sleeping. I just don't know. I want her to open up to me so we can help each other. I just don't know how to get her to open up. I want to ask her if she is talking or seeing OM but again I don't know how.

Staggered,
Don't be afraid to just ASK. It's not a situation that you ask EVERY day for reassurance...but when you NEED it... SEEK it...it's part of your recovery !

Be honest, use "I" statements, communicate your FEARS with her, assure her you know she's committed to your marriage, but let her know you're afraid OM will successfully have contact with her and that worries you because it will undo all the progress you've made.

Do it in a loving way, don't accuse, but don't try to talk yourself into finding the right way to ask. You have a right to ask, and your fear is justified.

It will also show your W that you're trying to rebuild trust.

Staggered...I agree...Dont be afraid to ask. Check her cell phone bil online. Ask to see her cel phone...if she has nothing to hide, she will hand it over. I just went thru all this yesterday, and I asked my H about my fears. Told him I was having a "paranoid" day and was told this is normal for BS's. Just dont accuse your W so much she starts resenting you.

Tell her your fears in a non LBing way. Tell her you NEED her to talk about the A and when she tells you too much, say in a loving way...thank you for sharing this with me, but I think I have heard enough for today. My H is VERY open abuot his A. But sometimes he says to much and I tell him that is enough for today.