As soon as OW left her H my H decided he needed to go be with her. He loves her and needs to find out. This morning he told me he needs a couple of weeks. A week to sort this out with her and a week to withdraw from everything. What a joke. They have a big weekend planned as her current H and child will be out of town. His parents and brother disowned him. He might stay with a friend. He really has no one. Not to mention I am 6 months pregnant with our first. I need advice. I don't want to see or talk to him becase I just get sooo upset. What plan do I follow? I am in MC. When should I see an attorney? I don't want to be kicked out of my home right before I have this baby. He states he won't do that. That we will wait until Jan. 1 before selling the house. As often as he changes I don't know if I can beleive him. He can't afford two places and it won't be comfortable living with his friend.

He doesn't know if he wants you or pursue her? This is fog babble. Recognize it and don't engage in a conversation about it.

The only ones who can't see the simple truth are WS with their head up their other end. Unfortunately your H isn't seeing straight and right now he is not a healthy person for you and your child to be around.

IMHO, you s/b plan Bing him, if you can handle it. He is still financially responsible for his family obligations but his emotional status will hurt you if he is also allowed to come and go as he pleases.

Out here there is a case of a man who is on trial for killing his W and unborn child. He also had an A and even the OW showed up on national TV. It is disgusting. The trial is still selecting a jury so time will tell his guilt or innocence. Bottom line is that he has to live with the fact that he had an A while his W was pregnant.

I don't mean to scare you but you need to be safe. If he is that undecided, you need to get to a safer place. Him being away from you is better than his waffling around you.

Your health and that of your baby are more important than his wishy washy state of mind. The OW is evil, greedy and probably considers you a obstacle. Don't give her any benefit of any doubt.

Go take care of yourself and your baby. You are carrying precious cargo.

Hugz,
L.

File for legal separation. That sends the message that you are open to reconciliation but it also is a 2 X 4 warning that you won't tolerate infidelity.

Plan B, definitely. He won't want to miss the birth of his child.

Well, first thing... take a deep breath.

Take one minute to relax, and realize that as time flows, this will ultimately work out for the best. That may not be any great consolation right at this very moment, but it is true. Your job right now is to keep your head screwed on straight and not lose sight of the big picture.

Women experience great hormonal changes during pregnancy. Something else happens to men. I don't know what it is exactly, but something happens. I nearly had an affair while my wife was pregnant with our son. At the last minute, I diverted OW onto my friend and avoided having an affair.

Take this one day at a time. If you need to see an attorney, go for a consultation only. Find out what your rights are, and what he can and cannot do. Don't jump the gun on anything, but be aware of your situation.

Don't lose hope. Often, they fall pretty far before they get back up. We may not be able to stop them from this descent, but we can keep our paths straight and make sure we are there for them when the get back up.

dewt

I barely survived day one once my H left. I just keep telling myself that it has to get better. I am still in shock that he is off with OW on a weekend trip. I can't stop thinking about it. I am tired of this consuming my life. I am physically sick and pray my baby is not suffering. My doctor prescribed Zoloft. Has anyone taken this? I think it is keeping me up at night but I can't be sure if that is the cause or just this pain.

You are very normal in obsessing about WH and OW. This should be a very happy time in your life and his behavior hurts. But things will get better.

What helped me most was getting busy, and taking care of myself. I cleaned the house sparkling, rearranged everything, detailed the car, painted, did the yard, joined a women's support group, and started walking every day.

When you start doing things, even though you don't feel like it, you feel better about yourself.


I took Zoloft and when I couldn't sleep my doctor said to take it in the morning, instead of at night. But sleeplessness is also a part of this whole thing. Your baby will be fine, if you eat well and take care of YOU.

I feel your pain, I obsess also, my husband had A we worked on marriage was doing well for 2 months and came home to find him gone, moved in with OW rented a townhouse, since then he's been in and out of our home 5 times not knowing what he wants, finally he left again last week and I am now trying to move forward and not obsess but it's so very hard, it's all I think about is him being with OW, its' very normal emotion for WS.
I love him very much and can hardly believe this has happened to me, but life throws us curve balls and for whatever reason we learn to deal with them. I am struggling BIG time trying to move forward and file for divorce and end a 22 year marriage all for something "he doesn't know what he wants" it's amazing what these guys can do. I've taken Zoloft, didn't sleep very well while takig it, and didn't really notice much a a difference infact, they had me on 200 mg per day which is alot and still felt no real changes. Infact I think I cried more while taking it then I do now.. It seemed to make me feel more emotional so be careful, watch closely to see if you notice the differece. Hang tight, you are not alone. Take care of yourself and baby, it's his lose and someday he'll realize what he's done. Remember "what goes around comes around" and I strongly believe in that, sometimes it takes time but pay backs are hell.

I was on zoloft - but if you just started it, it won't be effective for 4 - 6 weeks.

Inquire about getting some ativan as well. It's more prompt.

One cannot be in a hurry in an affair, unless you're an affairee.

Hang with us, durham. We'll be your lifeline.

WAT