I just wanted to take a minute this morning to thank everyone who has responded to this post (and all of my other posts). Without these boards I would be lost. There are so many insightful people here and I know I will be reading your words for a long time to come.
On that note, I would like to share that the sun is shining today <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I will be leaving the house shortly (leaving behind the dust, laundry, and dishes <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ) to spend the day out with my kids. We're going to have fun...
I also want to share what I hope is a turning point for me (please cross your fingers for me)...last night my H said he needed to talk to me about 'us'. My heart sunk and I thought for sure he was going to tell me that 'that was it'. It was actually the opposite. He told me that something clicked in him while he was driving yesterday. He said that 'this' (the A and everything that has come with it) is not him. The way he is acting is not him. He said he knows the A had nothing do to with me. He said he is 'lost' and doesn't know what is wrong with him. I mentioned his anger (which is not him) and brought up IC (gently as you've all told me to do). He cut me off to tell me that he's made the call and is arranging for IC for himself. If I can tell you that I sit here now crying...tears of relief...tears of joy...I am so proud of him (this is a HUGE step for him) and I told him so. He said he is ashamed. I told him again I was proud. I hope he follows through with it (he's supposed to actually make the appt today). He is very against counseling because he feels he's an experiment...someone to disect...someone to say what they want to hear to fit what the textbooks have told them should be...
Something I learned here is that all therapy is not alike and not all people stick with the first therapist they try. I shared this with him. I told him if he is unhappy with the first appt we'll look for someone else...and someone else...and someone else...until we find someone he feels comfortable with. He is so in need of someone to talk to...oh I really hope this works out for him...for us.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sounds to me that he is a very depressed person. He thinks if he ignores his feelings that the feelings will go away...that is what I thought. Depressed people isolate themselves </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hiker - this is so true. I think my H is a very strong man...he took a huge chance bringing his childhood up with his parents (always ignoring it...not letting it bother him in the past). It backfired. It made him, once again, question his worth, question his life. If he can heal his pain...if he can 'recover' from his childhood I will accept the pain I am feeling from his A and say that it was worth it.
One question though...I can be a bit overbearing...how can I be supportive of his IC without being too pushy? Should I ask today if he made the appt?
Thanks all!
