Hi all, its Trixxies H, I finally got my account to work.

I replied in her post the other day, but let me tell you a few things about me and us. We have both been D before, me because my ex cheated on me her because her ex was a scum and beat her and cheated. She knew how much it would hurt me to have an A, however she did it anyway, and I am really hurt and mad about it, but I love her and want to be able to work things out, and she says the same. We have 5 kids and a cat and 2 jobs and all the responsibility that comes with all that, so life does get in the way at times. Maybe this was a real eye opener as to what we need to do in order to save our marriage. I desperately want to work it out and want it to be better, i want to be able to talk, do fun things, laugh, smile, and all with her. I guess i realize how important she is to me and how much i love her. I am just worried and scared. I dont want us to get into a rut again. I am afraid what will happen if the OM tries to contact her at work, willshe have the strength to tell him to go away, what will she do if he shows up at wwork, will she fall for his bull and talk to him and listen to him, the manipulative little weasel that he is. She has always been afraid of losing me, and i need to let her know that i am not going anywhere as long as we can talk and love each other and work things out.I have told her that since day one, but now i really need to instill the security in her so that she is willing to stick thru the bad times and work on our marriage. I have a million emotins running thru me, but the biggest one is i love her and want so much for us to be together again and to be better than before. I can see the pain in her and know she is sorry, and i know she can see the pain in me that she caused. How do i let her know that i am in this for the long run, so she wont give up hope on us. I stayed home from work with her today, because she has the flu (or something, the kids have it too), and its the first time i have done that in a long time. I guess i just wanted to be here for her. I want my marriage to work, and every ounce of anger and jealousy i am going to put into a good form of sorts to make it work

You have to insist on her having no contact with the OM. Have her get a restaining order if necessary. He is threatening your marriage and family.

Then spend lots of time talking and identifying each other's emotional needs. Also try to spend some time doing fun things.