I have been struggling with this question.

My H moved out in Feb, but we have been making some progress (I hope) with our M. OW has ended relationship w/ H.

What is your opinion? If the opportunity presents itself - does the intimacy begin again? I know we are married, so there is nothing wrong with being intimate with your spouse, but I am afraid of sending mixed messages.

I am overwhelmed with the desire to be close with my H. I want to feel loved and needed. It is truly a need I have right now. However, is this allowing him to "have his cake and eat it to" so to say? H has his freedom to live in apartment - why would he want to move back home if he still has the benefits? But then if we are not intimate, is that telling him that maybe there is no hope and he will move on? Or will he think that I am using sex to get him to come home?

What is your opinion? I am so confused!!!

<small>[ April 26, 2004, 11:18 PM: Message edited by: KrisM ]</small>

Intimacy is a great way to connect. Based on that alone, I think that if it doesn't hurt you emotionally, go for it!

However, is this allowing him to "have his cake and eat it to" so to say?

Moreso if he were still with OW. Even then, I would say go for it. Besides, this way you get some cake too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

why would he want to move back home if he still has the benefits?

To get more benefits. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Seriously, it's about intimacy and reconnection. People say sex is not as emotionally based for a man. I don't believe that for a second. I think it's a powerful way to bond. He has the same needs, to feel loved and needed. Better you fill those needs than someone else. Right?

dewt

If you feel comfortable being intimate with your spouse, why not? So many times I've read on here that men need physical intimacy to get to emotional intimacy.

Myself, I remained intimate with my H while we were separated. However, he pretty much reduced our relationship to just about sex only (he wouldn't spend time with me doing much of anything else, and absolutely refused to be seen in public with me for months on end), and I eventually felt cheapened as a human being, and more like a sex object to him.

So, I say do so, so long as you both feel right about it, but be sure that there is more to your relationship than just sexual meetings.

Jen