I haven't posted here in a long time, but my marriage has been falling apart even longer. We've been through counselors, books, the agreements, all of it to no avail. I know my husband loves me, but I don't love him. We've been married for almost 15 years, have three wonderful kids. Please don't think that we just need to "spice things up" or anything like that. Our sex life has not been the problem. I filed for divorce about 5 years ago, but he talked me out of it. For the past 2 years I've been miserable. I don't want to be in the same house as him and most of the time when he's there, I'm sick to my stomache. Recently I ran into a guy I used to work with. When we worked together we were pretty good friends and he knows about some of the past issues with my husband and I. Anyway, I've been seeing him pretty regularly for the past couple of months. We haven't had sex, but there's been some pretty serious kissing and fondling going on almost every time we're together. This past weekend I saw him and it got so intense that I ended up giving him oral sex. Before you guys go off on me, I know what I did was in excusable, but my question is given the fact that my marriage is already over and we're just bascially cohabitating right now, is it necessary that I even tell my husband what's been going on at this point? I know I'm technically still his wife, but we live in the same house, but we don't sleep together and haven't for over a year. What do you think? Should I fess up or just keep quiet?

Please, what is this? Be honest to your husband and get away from that other creep. Any person who is willing to come between two married persons is a low life and only is thinking of himself. React before it becomes worse. You are going to get into a lot of pain and disappointment. Do you think that guy after seeing how easy you are is going to think highly of you and is going to consider you as a stable partner? Stop dreaming.

I filed for divorce about 5 years ago

but he talked me out of it.

For the past 2 years I've been miserable.

I don't want to be in the same house as him

and most of the time when he's there, I'm sick to my stomache
Why? (to all the above)

We haven't had sex, but there's been some pretty serious kissing and fondling going on almost every time we're together. This past weekend I saw him and it got so intense that I ended up giving him oral sex.
So you did have sex.

<small>[ April 27, 2004, 03:01 PM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>

well as usual my question is.....

why are you on marriagebuilders....

and I mean that without malice or anything...except trying to cut through all this other crap....

and see why YOU are HERE
a marraigebuildig site??

ARK

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Miserable in PA wrote:
"Before you guys go off on me, I know what I did was in excusable, but my question is given the fact that my marriage is already over and we're just bascially cohabitating right now,"</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hi MIPA,

If you are not divorced yet, then you are STILL married. It's not a technicality, nor is it a question of semantics. Sounds harsh, but if you are a returning member, you know this stuff already.

You end one relationship before you begin another. And if the marriage IS over, why are you so apprehensive in telling your husband? Because he'll be hurt??? What would be your plan? To file for divorce under the guise that you don't have anyone waiting in the wings?

Doesn't your H deserve to know that you're having an affair so he can make his own decisions about things. To not tell him is to take away his right to make choices. It's manipulative to do so.

Please give my words some serious thought.

God Bless,
Jo

<small>[ April 27, 2004, 05:43 PM: Message edited by: Resilient ]</small>