I told my story on the board yesterday. Well last night my husband came home at 10pm from work he should have been home no later than 730. I stayed calm and asked him where he was. He said oh the metro was late. Then he looked at me with a weird look. I asked him if he had been talking to the OW he didn't say no.

I started crying because I can't take much more of this and these pregnancy hormones are raging. I came right out and asked him why he continues to call her knowing how much it is killing me. He said because he wants to. I also told him if he doesn't stop then there is no other choice but for me to leave even though I don't want to. He didn't seem to care. I think that's what he wants me to do.

I picked up the phone and said if you care about me and want to do this you cannot contact her. I asked him to call her in front of me but he said sorry I can't do that. I also asked him to email her with me he also said sorry can't do that. Then he pretty much shut down. Said he is sorry for what he is doing that I have a right to be upset.

I asked him if he loved me he said you know me and you define love in a different way. I think he just didn't want to come out and say no I don't love you anymore. I asked him what he wants to do. He said to take care of me. I told him what am I some whore you just take care of on the side why you have your fun with someone else. Then I said what do you want to do he says well it seems like it doesn't matter what I want. Then said he will do the right thing. It hurts that he is only staying because he feels he has to do what is right.

I want to call the other woman again so bad but I don't think it will help plus I think she likes that she is breaking us apart. I asked him if it's going to make him happy to do what he wants and is happy for a few months or weeks worth the pain he will cause his son and me that will effect us forever . I said is it worth it. Then he says it is not about her. Whatever... Then he would be able to stop phone contact.

I was trying plan A but really not sure how it can work if he keeps calling her. I told him well I guess I made things worse. He said atleast I got it off my shoulders. I said yeah but it just pushed you away and didn't help anything. He said maybe it did. I am just hoping he saw the pain and goes to work today and calls her or emails her and tells her he wants to work on his marriage.

I am really lost... I don't want to go through this pregnancy alone. I want my babies father around all the time. And I think my biggest fear is being alone. I know how much I will miss him around.

<small>[ April 29, 2004, 09:11 AM: Message edited by: SadMarylandLady ]</small>

SML,

Your pain comes through very clearly in your post.

Get your butt in Plan A and be as flawless as you possibly can.
Expose the A to her H, to their boss if they work together, to whoever has any influence over her at all. Remember the point of exposure is not to "get back" at your H but to shed light on what is happening, state that you want your M to survive because you love your H, and request help in supporting your M.

marylandlady, I'm so sorry you have found yourself here. I didn't get to read your previous post, but your situation is exactly why Plan A was created.

I know it's very difficult and you will be the only one who knows how long you can do it, but Plan A has proven to stop As.

I had to Plan A for 4 1/2 excruciating months, but it worked! Start reading everything you can on this site.

I noticed that it helped reduce the stress to know that I had a 'plan'. FWS had no clue what was going on. The MB approach tells you what the WS is thinking/feeling and shows you that they are in the fog until withdrawal is complete.

This is a very difficult path, but if you follow it, you can recover your M. And remember to post here when you need encouragement.

Plan A is what is needed ,, But you need to really know yourself .YOU need to set the ime frame in your head that YOU MIGHT be able to tolerate this for . I would think being pregnat will make this diffucult very !

WHY ? One I have been pregnant LOL and those hormones wow !and also I have been in the house with FWS while contact continued I could not imagine making the combo of both those things work

I am not saying you can't , you will find the strenght for awhile .

BUT make it limmeted and be PLANING your PLAN B .

Expose the A as suggested , be beware he will become angry and you will need to stay in PLAN A while he gets like this .

I agree with calling the OW some do some don't .

I would not make it seem that she is getting the 2 of you at eachonthers throat , but more as a way to say your peace ,THAT you love your H , and intend on being around , and remind her he could ,leave but is chooseing to stay .

JMVHO

I am really going to try extra hard to stick to Plan A... But I am not sure how much it will work as long as he refuses to give up phone contact with OW...He now considers her a very good friend that he doesn't want to lose...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by lbc:
<strong>Plan A has proven to stop As</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No, this is incorrect.

Plan A DOES NOT stop affairs.

You folks are confused and it's showing a lot too much on this forum recently among other posters.

Read up on Plan A.

MdLady - see my reply to you in your post "Plan A tips..."

Plan A DOES NOT do anything to anybody except the BS exercising it. It's a self improvement plan coupled with ending LBs and meeting WS needs that you can.

It makes the BS more attractive and desirable and makes it easier for the WS to decide the affair wasn't such a good idea afterall.

But only the WSs can end the affair.

Any BS who thinks Plan A will somehow change their WS has it exactly wrong. You can only change yourself.