Hi,

We have been married for 5 months now and I am finding it difficult to cope. We don't talk or at least he doesn't communicate with me, he doesn't tell me how his day was or how he is feeling or what his dreams are or what his plans are, I have to hear it from other people and when I talk to him he never listens to me. Since we moved into our new house My brother, his wife and teenage daughter (whom I love dearly) has been spending alomost every weekend at our house at my husband's invitation.Also, My brother has parties every Friday i.e Loud music, drinking and a house full of people. My husband prefers to be there every Friday and I just don't see why we should do the same thing every Friday. There was a time when I was not feeling well and my husband came home from work. He wanted me to get done so that we could go down to my Brother's house and when I said that I did not want to go down because I was not feeling well, he angrily got up went to pull the car into the garage came inside went into our bedroom and just layed there. I couldn't take it anymore and told him that he should go rather and that I would be fine. He left and came in around 5 the next morning. Last Tuesday was a public holiday here and my brother and his family came to visit. My husband had gotten speakers and wanted to lead the cord through the ceiling. He got in the ceiling and then asked me for a candle. I told him that we do not have a candle that will work in the ceiling as they all burn very low. And then I asked why he had to do run the cord through the ceiling at the moment. He jumped out of the ceiling, grabbed the cord out of the whole that he had fed it trough. He told me that I always tell him that he can't do things when he wants to. I told him that he should not act like a child when he cannot get his way and that we really do not have any candles that would work. He pointed at the candle and shouted "what is this ?" I said that it would not work properly because it burns very low. He told me that I better watch out or else.
All this time my niece was sitting there looking very shocked.
Since then he has cleaned the kitchen and done things that he doesn't usaully do in the house but we haven't spoken to each other for 3 days now.
There was even a night when he went to sleep in the guest room (Explaination: his back was in pain). Please ... what should I do ?

Hi Fieroza

Welcome to MB.

I discovered this BB in 2001 when I was in desparate need of help. I did not know where to turn to regarding my sitch. In this country a limited amount of books were available and most of them were out-dated.

As for therapy, I am now advising my therapist and he is now refering some of his clients (who is dealing with infidelity) to me for encouragement and support.(lol) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I can tell you that coming to this BB opened a whole new world for me and saved me my sanity.

Firstly, read, read, read and read the concepts. Do the questionairs. Empower yourself with knowledge regarding your sitch.

I came to the BB expecting to change my XH, that did not happen. I was the one who changed. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

As for the books available on this BB. I went to great lengths to get hold of them. Sometimes, waiting for up to 3mnths. Now I watch the exchange rate and when it drops I buy books through Amazon.com. You will not find any of the books at our exclusive bookstores.

Also keep in mind that there is a time zone difference of 7/8hrs. I prefered posting in the late afternoon and then read the responses the following morning. When we are busy concluding our day the BB members are only starting their new day.

If you are fortunate to have internet at home then you can post in the evenings.

For privacy and protection I never say from which country I am.

Somebody will come around and give you excellent advice on your sitch. I will follow your thread and I will keep you in my prayers.