I didn't realize Plan B would be so difficult. I told my H to leave after he would not stop seeing OW. I wrote a Plan B letter. He states he knows where he is emotionally. I can't believe he doesn't want to be a part of my pregnancy and life of first son. He wants to know how I am doing health wise. I was told by the contact that he was surprised I asked him to leave.
I keep thinking if he was home I can work on him more. I worry that out of sigh is out of mind. I don't want him to get more attached to the OW. I know that is out of my control.
What do you think? I am ready to cave in.

Don't cave in, it's not worth it I will post more on this later my boss is coming shortly.

I am so sorry.. I to am almost 3 months pregnant and also have a 3 year old son with my WS. He will not stop his EA .. He continues to have phone contact with the OW and said he will not stop because he wants to talk to her. I am almost ready for Plan B. I am just praying he realizes what he is doing and wakes up out of the fog before it's to late. I know the more he has contact with her the more his feelings he thinks he has for her will not die. I just feel lost. And don't want to go through this pregnancy alone. I am praying for you ...

Any chance you are reading the replies to your other posts?
You have a bunch of thread starters and don't go back and reply to them.

Sorry. I thought I answered any questions that have been posted. I have read what has been posted.

Dear Durham,

Some further ideas for Questions to H came to mind. "When are you going to get the courage to tell OW that you are going to start doing the right thing by your son and your wife?" or "What is it that keeps you philandering, besides lack of will power?" or "When are you going to get some professional help for your problem?" or "Have you checked into getting evaluated to see what programs or treatment could help you?" Perhaps you could have phrases ready to zip in, if he calls, and then if his answer is not 100%, say you have to hang up, Click.

You suggest that you are thinking of another way to help H follow your bounadry of NC with OW, instead of Plan B. What are the details of your alternative plan? How are OW's children doing? What options do you have to expand your support group of in-person people?

Blessings

<small>[ April 30, 2004, 04:38 PM: Message edited by: Whaler ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by durham76:
<strong> I didn't realize Plan B would be so difficult. I told my H to leave after he would not stop seeing OW. I wrote a Plan B letter. He states he knows where he is emotionally. I can't believe he doesn't want to be a part of my pregnancy and life of first son. He wants to know how I am doing health wise. I was told by the contact that he was surprised I asked him to leave.
I keep thinking if he was home I can work on him more. I worry that out of sigh is out of mind. I don't want him to get more attached to the OW. I know that is out of my control.
What do you think? I am ready to cave in. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">durham, your choices are to let him live at home while he carries on his affair while having his needs met in both places. That gives him no motivation to end the affair. If you are in Plan B, it gives him a chance to miss you and to see that the OW can't possibly meet all his needs.

If you allow him to come home, he will never know that and the affair can continue forever. The point of Plan B is to ideally, pull them off the fence or to detach from them in the event they do not end the affair.

I think your best bet to end the affair is to do Plan B. *I think he has very strong feelings for you and the baby that will interfere greatly with his affair. If he is mourning you, it will cause great trouble in the affair and hopefully hasten its end.

Yes, Plan B is hard the first 2 weeks, but after that, you will feel better than you have in some months. You won't feel so obsessed with the WS or have his affair rubbed in your nose. It actually becomes a relief. So hang in there and keep coming here for support.

Did you show us your Plan B letter before you sent it for feedback? What did it say? Can you post it here? Did you send a copy to the OW?

<small>[ April 30, 2004, 04:40 PM: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by durham76:
<strong> Sorry. I thought I answered any questions that have been posted. I have read what has been posted. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Also, it’s good if you reply to what has been posted to you (even if you didn’t “ask” a question). This shows that you at least have read their responses.

See Help with Waiting?
Letter from WH---Please Comment
Plan B is very hard--Help
How to Sleep during plan B
Advice on talk with H
H moved in with friend
How to plan B during my pregnancy
Quick Question
as well as others.

Where is your Plan B letter?
You mention in one post you sent one but I can’t find anything else.
Did you post the letter here before you sent it?
On the 27th, you simply said you were going to Plan B. Can’t find any other references to the letter or what his response was to it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

If you did NOT send a Plan B letter, then you are simply making matters much worse and can expect him to not understand what you are doing.

While Plan B is scary, it will force WS to get all needs met by OP. This usually ends the A. Many men cheat while their wife is pregnant. I don't know why.

So try to move to Plan B, and go on with your life. There is a 97% chance that WH will be back.