Being that I am legally married but seperated and we have a child, I have a question about legally requiring a spouse into re-hab.

Ever since my W and I seperated she has turned to alcohol big time to cope. She has engaged in a lot of self destructive behavior.

I still really feel there is a lot of hope for both of us since neither of us is pursuing divorce. This destructive behavior is simpling putting more and more stress on the whole situation.

I love my W dearly and really feel the need to step in somewhere.

My question is this:

Can I legally require my W to go into re-hab for alcoholism?

The bottom line is that this is slowly destroying our marriage bit by bit and slowly affecting our sons life.

I am at a point where 1 of 2 things have to happen.

1, I can legally get her into re-hab, not only for her own good but for our sons good as well, because the bottom line is this is affecting the quality of his relationship with his mother regardless of our situation.


or

2, Should I just say to her that I can no longer stay legally married to her if she is going to continue drinking and letting it affect the outcome of our seperation, because it ultimately will. I feel like saying "babe, I love you dearly and we have been thru alot together, I am really concerned about where our marriage is heading. We have been everything to one another for a long time and we have 8 years of history and a beautiful son and I really hate to see our marriage and family disolve because of alcohol. I really think you need to make a choice, either the marriage or the alcohol. I really really don't want to see the outcome of our sons life and our marriage being defined by a bottle as it is being currently. So I need you to decide, either the marriage and our future or the bar"


Sometimes I really feel that she knows she needs to do the right thing and seeing an uncertain future is what drives her to liquid courage.

Help Me Help My Family, please

HF

Hunter,

Is her destructive conduct one she acknowledges? Who is she around that can validate and lend support (friends/relatives)???

You can work through family protective service agencies but once you head down that path, you are no longer in control.

BrambleRose is a poster that has helped many deal with the alocohol disease. MelodyLane is another great poster that can help. Let's see if they are available.

Contact your local AA office and see what programs or options they have.

Hope this helps.

take care,
L.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Orchid:
<strong> Hunter,

Is her destructive conduct one she acknowledges? Who is she around that can validate and lend support (friends/relatives)???

You can work through family protective service agencies but once you head down that path, you are no longer in control.

BrambleRose is a poster that has helped many deal with the alocohol disease. MelodyLane is another great poster that can help. Let's see if they are available.

Contact your local AA office and see what programs or options they have.

Hope this helps.

take care,
L. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thank you Orchid.

One of the major problems is she is around the wrong type of people, people who have their morals between their legs and their elbows on a bar counter. People who could careless that she has a child and people who use her for their own crutch. (incidently, I am in process of suing her former roommate for interfering in a legal marriage and causing emotional distress to a minor)


I know the whole scope of the "Family" protective services and their stance is pathetically twisted as far as I am concerned.
I equate FPS to getting on an escalator to hell.

I am just looking for what I can do as a legal husband in a legal marriage in the situation I am unfortuntley faced with.

I would love to get a 2x4 but........... :-)

temporary solutions could have temporary results....at least temporarily.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Call Alnon.

L.

hunter..
this is what has me concerned about you...

realizing you are from MARs...and what to fix this and things....

but this is not something YOU can fix...

you can't force anyone in to rehab....besides jail...and that's barely a deterent to drug availability...

no gold guilded rehab will work on someone who doesn't want to quit...

don't enable...
go to Ala-non

learn the tools to remove yourself from that part of her world...

ulitmatums, forcing...they don't work...

you can't fix this for her...

I am sorry about that...

ark

I understand your frustration, and how horribly helpless you feel...

But you have to let it go.

You cannot control her, and any attempts to do so are going to backfire completely.

dewt