As many of you already know, it's been a long road for me. Brief, husband moved out for 6th time 4/21 - since this time, he does not answer e-mails and barely answers phone calls.

During conversations, he will tell me not to file for an absolute divorce, doesn't understand why I am doing anything? Asked me to file for limited if I file at all.

Meanwhile, he's been traveling to NC/SC each weekend looking for a new home in order to re-locate with girlfriend shortly. I can't understand what he is thinking.

He mentioned to me "he's confused" - "doesn't ever know if he find happiness"- "He's not sure what he's looking for"., but states there's always a chance for reconcilation! Okay, so he thinks I'll just sit around and wait until he decides WHO/WHAT he wants, who's the better deal?

Today, I met with attorney- reviewed what I am filing and am now in process of having all papers drawn up for divorce.

He has made no effort to call this house in two days, he's out of town on business, apparently took OW with him. When she's not around he'll call and check with us, if she's home we don't hear a word and should we contact him while she's in the room, he'll be quite nasty while answering questions.

I have sent several e-mails basically asking him to be honest and tell me what he wants, does he really want divorce, if so just say it, but I receive no reply! It's very simple to me, just say "I want divorce" how much easier can I make it for him? Doesn't even have to speak to me, just send a note., but no replies rec'd.

Our son was in an accident and I tried to contact him for help, it took 2 hours to reply and when he did blamed it on me, saying I call him with too many questions, and doesn't want to be bothered all the time. So, okay let's just pack a bag and leave the family - don't answer any questions, just move out on onward.

I am trying very hard to have no contact at all with it, it's literally killing me not to dial his number or send messages, I am hoping this no contact thing works!

I need suggestions and help- why would he cut us off completly? Not even want to talk to us at all? Not understanding him or OW who walked out on 3 children to be with my H. How can they build a relationship together when it started with such dishonestly and devastation to so many people.

Read about the fog, he's in it. The reason he isn't answering you is that he really just wants to keep things the way they are and he's going to let you and OW battle it out. He's a fence sitter-waiting to be pushed off. Since he continues with the OW, I'd send him a no contact letter and do a strong plan B. If you still love him, you may want to wait on the divorce, although I'd let him know that you saw an attorney. If you are ready, then file, but go no contact, it will help you in the long run and it will force his OW to meet all his ENs, which she probably won't be able to do since the relationship started when he was married and is pretty much due to fail. I'm pretty certain he'll be knocking at your door if you go no contact. Keep reading.

Don't feel like you are the only one this is happening to, there are lots of us. My WH left and gave me no money and has been gone since July. They go temporarily insane - it is not nice to watch.

Hang in there, NC will probably bring him back.

He mentioned to me "he's confused" - "doesn't ever know if he find happiness"- "He's not sure what he's looking for"., but states there's always a chance for reconcilation! Okay, so he thinks I'll just sit around and wait until he decides WHO/WHAT he wants, who's the better deal?

They all say basically the same thing, too. I've heard these statements many times -- especially the ones about not being sure he'll ever find happiness and the one about there always being a chance (in my WH's words--"There's always hope"). But mine, too, expects me to just sit back quietly until he decides if he wants her/me/neither of us.

LL

I believe he may be confused, but my life must move forward, I must try somehow to be strong without him. My boys are feeling the pain and still refuse to talk with him, which by the way he is blaming me for... I have never told my boys not to speak to their father.

I am trying Plan B, having much difficulty holding to this plan, I always feel the need to speak with him and hear his voice when does this feeling go away?

Even after all this, I would take him back into my life and love him even more, why do I feel this way, why do I feel the need to have him?

Appreciate all advise!

Angel,

I understand where you are coming from my WH has moved out and has said there is no hope right now. He says there might be some in the future but not right now. He is tired of trying to figure things out and he is confused.

I don't know why you feel like you still want/need him. I think it is just love. My whole family wonders why I would still take my WH back after all he has done and I can only explain that I love him with all my heart. WS are confused and dealing with withdrawl, that is why they do what they do.

Personally I have refused to file for divorce. I will move on and work on myself but not give up on my marriage. If my WH wants divorce then he can file for it. I will wait and see what happens with Plan A.

Stick with Plan B and work on yourself. Hopefully he will come around. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I have lost all hope of reconcilation, I found out by mistake tonite he has left the state - is now living in NC with OW. I still can not believe he walked out on his family and actually left the state also... It's not even a person I know.

I'v spoken with him last evening he called- said he was away on business in Houston .... he's away alright living in another state with OW.

I am filing for divorce in order to protect myself financially., he has left his family with no money took it all..... when I ask for funds I am told he'll take care of it and nothing is ever deposited and currently I am umemployed., I was told to leave my job in order to work on the marriage, then 2 months later he walks out....

This is not even a man I know.... I asked him directly if he wanted a divorce and he would not answer me, he asked what I wanted instead., why will he not say "I want divorce" when he moved to another state with OW., what's he waiting for.,
How can u walk out on your family and two boys move to another state without telling them and not want a divorce? Is he playing some sort of game, "what do I want" "Let's test the water" and if I find I'm happy here then I ask for divorce and if not I'll go home? Who know's but I am not playing anymore.

I find my love turning into hate, this is a man who can't tell the truth if his life depends upon it., all he does is lie, one lie after another lie, after another lie......

I think of all the planning before he left, he knew he was moving, he knew he was leaving at least 2 weeks before he walked out the door, how could he live with his family eat at the table and hold my hand like he loved me when he knew he was leaving and moving to another state?

I see him as one sick person, who for whatever reason has walked away from the most valuable thing we could ever have in life "YOUR FAMILY" for OW who also walked away from her family 3 young children and moved to another state with my H..... it's appears to be two rats together in a whole......

I can't image how they could ever be happy with all the lifes they have destroyed and all the dis-honestly they have started out with among there relationship. THe hurt and pain caused to both families is endless, how do they sleep at nite knowing what they have done, how do they function knowing the pain they have caused? Her children have no mother and my boys have no father.

I get calls saying I am the blame for his boys not speaking to him, I am influencing them, which is not true, my boys will not speak to their father because of the pain he's caused this family and how he walked out for the 6th time without even trying......

I need assistance, I need help..... I need advise... Do I let on I know he left the area or do I play dumb, do I continue to answer his calls or do I let him leave a message?