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Are they all this nice to feel better about what they are doing or what???
Good afternoon,
I will try to mow tomorrow. They are not forecasting any rain. I will also pick-up some Cat food and litter. Let me know if you need me to buy anything else before I come over. I will be stopping by Cub Food on the way.
"Look out my window.....Still Rain'n"
: )
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He's feelin guilty. Have you decided on Plan A or Plan B?
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durham - this is vital - DO NOT RESPOND!!!
Understand???
Your "darkness" may be doing exactly what it's intended to do.
He's following the script - I promise.
WAT
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Is there a neighbor boy that could cut the grass? How much would he charge? Have you priced lawn services? Have you contacted any attorneys about child suport? When does the Attorney think the papers for support should be filed? How long do you intend to work? How long does your Doctor say you can work during your preganancy? Do you have paid maternity leave from your work? How long? If you are unable to pick up groceries and cat litter yourself, is there a delivery service for supermarkets in your area? Some super markets have on line shopping, with delivery at a small extra charge. What are your plans for handling the cats and the newborn?
Blessings
<small>[ May 04, 2004, 03:45 PM: Message edited by: Whaler ]</small>
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If he comes over and you are there and cannot avoid a face to face meeting - do not get into any conversations. If he brings you something, politely thank him, but DO NOT do any more. OK??
If you have to, leave.
If he is persistent, simply explain that you meant what you said in your letter. Unless he's ready to end all contact with OW and commit to your marriage, it's too painful to interact with him.
You HAVE to stick by this!!!!
OK???
WAT
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please hang in there durham, we are all pulling for you and want to "pull" you through this. your an intelligent person and know what you have to do, STAY DARK, of course there will be circumstances that are unavoidable, say for instances he comes to the house or follows you, etc. but do what you can okay? prayers to you.
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Originally posted by durham76:
Are they all this nice to feel better about what they are doing or what???
He is trying to convince himself he is a really good guy... just having an affair on his pregnant wife is all. But mow the lawn ... and he's still "concerned" ...
Get a kid to mow.
Don't answer him.
Go about your day.
He's choosing this consequence, you aren't.
Plan B needs to be solid or you make a liar out of yourself.
Pep
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I am in plan B. It has been a week. He thinks he needs to take care of me because I am pregnant. Thanks but no thanks. I am working on finding someone to mow ect. Then I can be done with any contact.
I honestly think he is crazy. He thinks he can be with OW. Take care of pregnant wife. That he will still be a good dad. He should get the best man of the year award.
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durham..
you must make arrangements for someone else besided husband to change the cat litter....
you shouldn't be doing it...
neither should he...
do you have family support around...
ARK
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Absolutley you should NOT change the cat litter. Toxoplasmosis and Cat Litter
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by durham76:
<strong> I am in plan B. It has been a week. He thinks he needs to take care of me because I am pregnant. Thanks but no thanks. I am working on finding someone to mow ect. Then I can be done with any contact.
I honestly think he is crazy. He thinks he can be with OW. Take care of pregnant wife. That he will still be a good dad. He should get the best man of the year award. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">durham, don't let him come over. Email him and ask him to respect your request for NO CONTACT. Have someone else mow and clean the cat box. Don't help him assuage his guilt.
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I agree with everyone else, it's very hard to cut off contact with him but must be done. He may cut off contact with you first which will hurt even more.
My H has been doing the same to me, I call, no answer I must leave message, I send e-mails no response hardly ever, it's almost like he doesn't exsist anymore.
From all of this, I have become the stronger person, now I don't call., or e-mail only for emergency when son had accident., otherwise, I am trying to be strong... it's so very hard I understand... The pain is something no one would ever understand.
Take care of yourself, get help with lawn, and pamper yourself....
Hang tight and be strong we are all here for you and in similar situations.
Angel with no wings.
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> He thinks he needs to take care of me because I am pregnant. . </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">We agree with him! First step in taking care of you is ending the A.
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still don't know what to say but still wishing you strength and prayers to you.
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I go to IC today. I can't wait to hear what she has to say. When we say in the fog I think my H will have a rude awakening. He is staying at a bachelor pad while I prepare the nursery. If he wants to be with OW and take his new son how will he do it? I must be the only one thinking about that.
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by durham76: <strong> I go to IC today. I can't wait to hear what she has to say. When we say in the fog I think my H will have a rude awakening.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Does this mean your H will be there? Have you seen this counselor before??? Please mention this site and the folks here attempting to support you. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>If he wants to be with OW and take his new son how will he do it?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hopefully, he won't be able to. This raises the necessity of you getting legal advice and a legal separation that spells out money matters, custody, visitation, etc. No reasonable person on this planet would permit your H to take a (nursing?) newborn to visit with OW. That said, your H will have some rights - but this does not have to include taking your baby (you know it's a son?) out of your presence and you do not have to allow OW into your presence. Have you consulted an attorney? WAT
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No H will not be at IC. I have already mentioned this site and the books to her. We have seen this counselor together before he left. I will be seeing an attorney in the next few weeks. I don't plan on letting him take the baby. Hopefully in the next few months I will have a better handle and clear plan.
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Outstanding, durham!
Please let us know how your IC meeting goes.
WAT
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