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Hi all, We all know momto3boys dilemma on getting the support and her needs to be in Plan B. I know this everyone else has the same issues when SO/OP are also lurking at this site. I just send the following email to Steve. Please join me to send him similiar email to him. Let us know if you send one by bumping or check in <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Thanks ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Hi, I am just wondering if you could provide a special forum for people in plan B. The owner of the thread will have a way to only allow selected users to view the threads. This way the SO or OP will not have the chance to peek in. Thanks, redhat +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ <small>[ May 04, 2004, 03:40 PM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>
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Good idea, RH.
Also, you can explain to Steve that this proposed new forum/board has the similar requirements as the "Private" Pregnancy/Child board.
Here's a sample of proposed Plan B membership board requirements:
- A private area for those who are dealing with Plan B issues resulting from their spouse's infidelity. Entry is by permission of the Administrator only.
- Forum Entry Requirements: 45 post minimum and Member status with demonstrated understanding of Marriage Builders principles and concepts.
- Requirements to Maintain Access: Minimum of 2 posts per month and follow Marriage Builders rules and policies.
Jo
<small>[ May 04, 2004, 04:01 PM: Message edited by: Resilient ]</small>
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ARRRGGGHHH administrator@marriagebuilders.com addy is not working no more .... does anyone have Steve email addy ?
It is a bit different than OC forum. This would be on the thread level and controlled by the owner of the thread. I think UBB support this.
-rh-
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Try: Webmaster@marriagebuilders.comThat should be the appropriate email addy for this request, RH. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Jo
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Excellent idea!!
I like the name too.
Are we casting votes on this thread, or are we emailing Steve?
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I try steve@marriagebuilders.com and it hasn't got rejected yet.
I might even be able to create a site for this purpose only but the only thing that I don't have is validating access ... wait a second, I might be able to do that by reading the cookie after user signed on to this site. Let's give SH a chance first.
-rh-
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LovingBoundaries:
<strong> Excellent idea!!
I like the name too.
Are we casting votes on this thread, or are we emailing Steve? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Email it to webmaster@marriagebuilders.com . SH is the webmaster for this site.
We have 3 peoples ... and hope we could have more to join to email SH.
-rh-
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RH,
This is SH's e-mail:
sharley@marriagebuilders.com
Hope i can help.
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Great idea RH, I have been trying to let momto3boys know about another site, without posting it here.
I think it is very unproductive for dadto3 to read the posts on her thread lately.
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Thanks lostnhurt ...
Thanks believer ....
All, Please send email to sharely@marriagebuilder.com
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redhat, This is a great idea! I've been in that situation myself and needed a safe place to "hide" and post - and vent! And just so you all know, Penny Tupy (Cerri)'s bulletin board... Save Your Marriage Central Bulletin Board ...also has a couple of private boards - one for individuals who have endured sexual abuse and another for those who are WS's that are trying to end the affair and find their way back to the marriage. SYMC, I know, will also be more than willing to provide a safe, protected, secure board for folks in this situation.
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ISGirl, I know that board and I am on it too <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> . However there is a slight problem there since ISGirl here might not be ISGirl over there. It could cause a bit problem. mt3b is over there too. -rh-
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This request might best be sent to Tempest at tempest@mhcable.com.
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Well here is a different take on your suggestion, RH. While I can understand the need to vent this is a MB site. To encourage a separate hideaway may hurt some of the progress being made and definitely not in line with any POJA or radical honesty agreements between a STBXWS and their BS. For those who's spouses have frequented this site, this site can still be used. In the past there have been a 'few' cases where WWIII almost happened but in most of the cases WS and BS are able to work through their issues. See if a WS stays as a WS, they will eventually leave. If not, they generally turn into an Xws and post away. Zorweb and her H, along with Knewjie and [H] are good examples of that point. IMHO (for what it is worth), is to let the BS post here. How they post is a challenge to their personal recovery. Maybe their communication skills will have a chance at improving when the BS is forced to think carefully before posting. I know it has helped me. My H has access to read any post here. He has even posted in the past. It is his choice just as much as posting here is mine. Initially, he was angry about my posting. I gently reminded him, I came here to learn and vent. He had the OW as a venting tool or he could go to his IC. While he was welcomed to post with his own user id, he needed to realize that I was not having an A and I needed a place to speak my mind. We came to an agreement which basically allowed me to post as I have and as you all know, some of the things I posted have been a bit....revealing. LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> So I have learned not to allow a threat or threats to stop me from benefiting from MB. Neither has it stopped my H from posting here. A skillful MBer can use this as a tool to help their WS. Ws are a curious breed. It is in their makeup to want to know what the BS is up to without asking the BS directly. You all need to realize this point and use it wisely to your recovery advantage. JMHO, L.
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Orchid, THREAD JACK !!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> If you disagree ... don't send the email <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> In plan B, THERE IS NO CONTACT PERIOD. Reading the other other of posts is a contact and open to manipulation during PLAN B. -rh-
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While I understand the value of a board for Plan B-ers whose S also visit this site, with restrictions at the thread level... Is it wise to inundate SH with a gazillion emails expressing the same desire? Better yet to let RedHat (Yay, you won the election <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ) send the suggestion/request and refer SH to this thread if he has any questions.
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redhat,
Great idea. I think this would help to protect a true Plan B'er from WS's attempt to meddle and violate NC.
On the negative side however, it could also isolate a member to the opinions of only a few select members. Sometimes MB'ers surround themselves with posters that will tell them what they want to hear rather then remain open to all POV's.
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by redhat: <strong> Orchid, THREAD JACK !!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> If you disagree ... don't send the email <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> In plan B, THERE IS NO CONTACT PERIOD. Reading the other other of posts is a contact and open to manipulation during PLAN B. -rh- </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">U want me to plan B this thread? Awwhhh com'on RH, I thought we were in plan A??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> L.
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Orchid: <strong>U want me to plan B this thread?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You could plan B this thread your way ... lurking here and there <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> . ALL, I "talked" to one of the moderator and UBB doesn't support this feature for users and UBB is not an open source <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> . SYMC is also using UBB too so they are in the same boat. So even SH wants to do it, it would cost $$$ to pay InfoPop. I will try to see if we could put this as an enhancement request for UBB to InfoPop. -rh-
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by redhat: <strong> SYMC is also using UBB too so they are in the same boat. ...... -rh- </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">redhat- That is not true. SYMC (saveyourmarriagecentral.com) does have the ability to create private access boards and in fact already has two of them for unique situations like sexual abuse or a WS struggling with withdrawal that call for special support, care, and sensitivity. I think this is a great idea you have and you should run it by Penny as you have already done with the Harley's. Plan B is indeed very difficult for the BS. A private place for them to get support to help them with the daily struggles that come with 'no-contact' might be very helpful to them. Why not bring the idea up at SYMC since they already can do this? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> HoFS
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