Okay, I am feeling a little uneasy right now. Since spending a night away from WH and receiving his 2 page vent about everything wrong in our M, things have been going very well. This worries me.

Since discovering his EA in March we have twice attempted to restore our M. After about a week each time I discovered he was still having contact and I got angry, did some LBing, and went on the roller coaster of emotion.

This time when we talked H said he would work harder on NC. He has been calling home every evening, something he had quit doing during A. He came home early from work last night. I even awoke in the night to feel his arm around me last night.

I have begun to try to get OW out of my mind. She was constantly there driving me crazy. I am now putting my energy into fixing the things that I think contributed to WH's A.

My problem is the better it goes the more scared I get. I am afraid I will happen upon contact with OW and this will crush me once again. Is this a "normal" feeling(are there any normal feeling in this situation)?

You sound normal to me.

Take care of what you can control. If there are things about you that you want to fix--and you feel it is good for you--do so.

You can't control him, or her. So, one method is to plan for worst case scenario...what would you do if all the worst happened?

If your plan is to continue to work toward what you can control about your optimal marital outcome, ie, recovery, then do so. No lovebusters, Plan A behavior, until it becomes time for Plan B.

It sounds like your husband is home. Home is better reconciliation/recovery conditions than separated, though if the A continues, a separation may be be down the road.

The OW is a problem, but, she really isn't the root. Your H, and his thoughts, beliefs, and actions should be your focus. The OW may be no more than an attempt to try to fix himself, a kind of self-medication.

Oh normal normal normal. hurt, you are normal.

In my case, WH's A is over, but I am afraid of future As. I would normally say it's silly to worry and be afraid of something that hasn't happened yet. But I don't want to be reeled over in the rollercoaster again. I might die this time.

That is a normal feeling. Remember, sometimes there are relapses, but now is your chance to work on yourself and the marriage.

Try to do some fun things together, to start rebuilding happy memories. It is recommended to spend 15 hours a week together doing enjoyable things.

Well, I am fixing delightful dinners. Which my children are very unaccustomed to. They are eating better and things go well. I have no doubt that H has been talking to OW. Should this worry me? Right now I don't want it to. My mind goes crazy when I think of it, so I'd be better off if I didn't. We can't spend 15 hours a week doing things together. We don't even ride to our sons ball practice together. He finds reasons to take the other car. He has been spending a lot of time working on things around the house, but we don't really talk to each other too much. We just are seeming to coexist right now. Is that okay?

hurt, pretending the affair doesn't exist won't help it end. You really should be confronting him on this and doing everything in your power to end the affair. Has the affair been exposed at their workplace?

And yes, you should feel worried, your H is destroying your marriage and does not have your families best interest at heart right now. You are being destroyed behind your back.