Ok so I did talk with my WH tonight. He is not intending to move in because he thinks it would be a bad idea to put our D through that right now. We had a really good night and went out to dinner with the kids. He stayed and hung out and then tucked in the kids. It went well.

The problem is that he still continued to talk about how he was going to file and what apartment he was going to move into. He is still thinking it is over and he said tonight that he felt he had given our M his best shot (ok the whole time lying??). I asked him if he did any of the paperwork and he said I told you I would let you know when I do it. So I know that he has not filed yet. I guess I should stay positive and think everyday he does not file is a positive for me but...

Can this be fog of OW still?? (eight weeks later??) My husband is also dealing with a lot of other issues as well, no job, money troubles, and health issues. I really pushed him to try to work on this. PLAN A??

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by hope&faith:
<strong>

Can this be fog of OW still?? (eight weeks later??) My husband is also dealing with a lot of other issues as well, no job, money troubles, and health issues. I really pushed him to try to work on this. PLAN A?? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hope, what did you push him to work on? I don't understand.

How is he going to get an Apartment with no job or money? My H is still deep into fogland. It has been about 5 weeks or so and i thought we were doing so well. Actually we were until he got a call from OW...that set him back basically to day one. however he is doing better the past two days. Just take it one day at a time Faithful! He is very confused right now! Let him move out and see what single llife is like. No job, no money...he wont last long. I hope you are not supporting him <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

P.S. it can take up to 6 months to withdraw from the OP. And your H has never really started withdrawal because the OW has been his neighbor all this time.

I pushed my husband into trying. I constantly talked about the relationship and what we needed to do to change it. I am sure this is not a good thing huh??

My WH has moved out and is trying to make it on his own. I am not supporting him and all my money has been removed from our joint checking account. I am sure he is still in fogland because he called OW last Tuesday to tell her he was getting divorce. I believe he simply thought she would leave her husband for him and of course she did not.

Anyway it is just so hard to hold out hope when he is talking about divorce. I am going to keep Plan Aing him to the best I can. Hope I need hope!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by hope&faith:
<strong> I pushed my husband into trying. I constantly talked about the relationship and what we needed to do to change it. I am sure this is not a good thing huh??
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are speaking in PAST TENSE, right? That is what I am unclear about. I think you should stick to Plan A and stay away from any relationship talks. Sounds like you did good today! If you keep this up, you will start confusing him and he will back off the divorce. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

PS He will be able to rent his parents rental house next month. It will be easy for him because he does not need down payment or any references.

His best friend said there is no way he is going to file he is just so CONFUSED. I sure hope he is right <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I am speaking in Past Tense. We talked about the relationship very little tonight. Only what he brought up. He said he felt he had given it his best shot (although we all know he has not). I do feel like I did good tonight. I do tend to have a lack of patience and what things to work ASAP.

I don't think he can afford to file very soon so it may be a couple weeks anyway so that gives me a good shot at a good Plan A. I will see him everyday for the next 5 days so hopefully I can keep up the good work. Should I just humor him when he does his D talking??

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by hope&faith:
<strong>

I don't think he can afford to file very soon so it may be a couple weeks anyway so that gives me a good shot at a good Plan A. I will see him everyday for the next 5 days so hopefully I can keep up the good work. Should I just humor him when he does his D talking?? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Good job, Hope!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Now you are catching on! Yes, when he brings up divorce just sweetly say "ok" and shake your head. You will confuse the heck outta him!

Another thing you might try in a few days is CASUALLY mention that you feel bad for making life so difficult for him and acting the jailer. Then QUICKLY end the conversation. Just keep it light and move on.

If he responds with all the crimes you committed against him, just agree. It might KILL YOU and you know he is nuts, but just AGREE and say "I know, I know" very sympathetically. You get the idea? You will take away all his ammunition by doing this.

You want him to know you have seen the error of your ways and give him a glimpse of what a future relationship might be like.

Mel,

Thank you so much for all of your help and support. I hope I am getting it now. You and all the other MBers have given me so much hope that I might still be able to save this.