Just came back from dropping D. Thank GOD, it is her last day there. I made the appointment for my father for tomorrow.

WH came home 11pm last night, I only told him to drop S to camp and good night. This morning, he left 7:30am, he said it was for meeting, but he did come back 9:30 to pick up S. Now, in about an hour, I will have to go pick him up.

I wish WH will not be home tonight, tomorrow morning I will talk to SH, I don't want him to hear it. Now I have to prepare some questions to ask him. Please help me with that.

LL, I always talk to sis. thanks for the free cell phone minutes. Last month, I had 1500 min.

Believer, the ginger soup remedy is from my grandma of dad's side. But my dad never believed anything. He is a very strange person.

will be praying for you tomorrow in your session w/SH and that he will be able to give you some additional clarity.

i will be out of the office for most of the day tomorrow at another site doing an inspection. in fact, depending how long it takes i may not come back to work. but i will be back on wednesday most definitely and look forward to an update regardless.

also wanted to thank you for the card you sent it has helped me out tremendously especially since H is still paying the cell phone bill and i have no idea how much it is.

God bless and prayers to you, RR

When will my problems end?

Today was supposed to be D's last day in the center. When I picked her up, I was told that she needs two more days. She won't be discharged. I even signed a discharge form this mornig. Now everything is messed up.

I will have a session with SH tomorrow 8:00am my time. I won't be able to keep it obviously unless WH can drop her. But he is nowhere to be found, I can't rely on him anyway. Then I need to drop S to his camp at 10am. If I drop D, I won't have enough time to come back to pick up S to drop him again. Then my father's appointment is at 3:00pm, which is the time D needs to be picked up.

What will I do. I have to act like a single parent now. First I e-mail MB and SH about my situation and asked for rescheduling. I may have to drop D early and come back to drop S. I would have to call to reschedule father's appointment, I hope they have a 4pm appointment, so I can go to his place directly after picking up D. I will feel bad if I can not take him to the Dr.

Wed morning I will have a closing at 8:00am. This is a puchase which I have to go. What am I going to do? I just keep praying, GOD will help me.

We saw the phychiatrist this afternoon again. He said that WH is very bad in front of D. he said that he is not responsible. He is the one who create this chaos but he doesn't not want to take the responsibility. He said that I have better make up my mind soon, don't beg him. I just feel so terrible now, tears in my eyes.

D is in a friends BD party now. S is playing outside. I just took the trash out, I am acting that WH is gone forever already. Boy, the trash can is heavy, that is first time I ever take it out since we moved to house. I think that I am lucky that way.

Yikes, when it rains it pours. It is very hard being a single parent. I raised by boys for 12 years by myself, and it was constant stress, always trying to be 2 places at once. So I feel for you there.

But just put it in order of priorities. Your daughter needs to finish off her counseling. Could you get a taxi to take father to doctor?

I used to pay a neighborhood woman to pick up my kids and take them here and there. She was a stay at home mom and appreciated the extra money. Maybe you can look into something like that.

The problem with my father is not the ride. Dr.s office is about 1 mile from his apartment. He does not know English and he does not trust anyone else either.

D's couseling is 1 hr away as you know. S's camp is about 15 min. But all three places are in different directions. Oh, what am I going to do?

I just prayed and feel some peace now. I know that GOD will take care of me. I will worry things tomorrow.

Today I tried my best to have good time with S. After picking him up, we rode bike to mcDonald for lunch. Then we picked berries. I felt so blessed to live in this neighbouhood. It was all sorrounded by trees with lots of animal, but it is minutes away from all major stores and malls.

Just called cusin and asked her daughter to help drop S off to his camp. So the only thing left is to reschedule father's appointment. I will leave a voice message to SH too. I will worry about Wed tomorrow. Please pray for me. I need all the prayers.

LNH,

A lot is being thrown at you right now. Keep reminding yourself that God will never give you more than you can bear.

You've already worked out your S's camp transportation. Good for you!

Again, that doctor thing... I'm sure your father wants to go, but if he's not getting any worse, it could still wait. You could always go over to his place in the evening and just sort of check up on him to reassure him and make him feel better.

I agree that your daughter is the highest priority of the three right now. Can you change your transportation time enough on the day you have the closing so that you can make it there? Could you take your D to her counseling after the closing is done and just explain your situation and that you may be late.

Hopefully your WH will show up and will be able to help, but always good to have a contingency plan.

Hugs to you {{{{{{LNH}}}}}}!!

LL

LL, thank you.

I want to praise GOD for helping me out. He really answered my prayer. I called the client about closing and told him that I won't be able to go. He said can you send someone else from your company, it clicked. I immediately asked my processor to go, she said it is ok, the title company is close to where she lives too. Bingo, this problem is sovled. Now the only thing is father;s appointment. I just called him, he said that he is caughing, headache etc. But he could walk around and go shopping. SO it shouldn't be a big deal. But he was not happy when i said that I may have problem taking him. We will see. I will keep praying.

LNH,

I'm so glad you got things worked out. That seems to be what I am having problems with (as you can see over on my thread). You may be struggling more with your hurt from your WH, but you are doing so much better organizing your life and taking care of things than I am.

I was worried about the closing you were supposed to do. I know those are at set times and can't usually be rescheduled quickly. But God worked with you and it's done.

Again, not to sound unfeeling, but if your father can walk around and shop, he can wait until it's more convenient for you to get him in.

If he doesn't have any major medical problems like heart problems or high blood pressure, I suggest Thera-Flu.

If you haven't used it, it's a hot drink with medicine that is actually for respiratory flu, and you do have to be careful with certain pre-existing conditions, but it's GREAT for making you feel better if you're miserable with a bad cold. Takes away aches and pains and relieves congestion.

Good stuff! Too bad I'm not supposed to use it anymore because of heart arrhythmias (though when I'm really desparate, I do still take it--I just half-dose.)

You are doing great! I can see lots of improvements in you over the last month. I knew you'd be reaching a point of feeling better soon!

LL

LL, I really think that GOD had blessed me a lot. I have so many things to be thankful.

D is in good care now. S's transportation is set. Father's health is good, he was checked couple months ago, Dr. said he is very healthy. Even though he didn't like to here it, he always complain different problems, but he just had the nerve(mind) problem, different Dr. said so. Now my business is also settled. What more do I need? I want to have a loving, caring H. I have trust in GOD that he will give me one.

I just can not stop praising the LORD.

You are doing very well. I see you making many changes and becoming a stronger person.

Your WH is in the fog, but it cannot last.

I tried to be strong until WH called. I didn't pick up the phone since I was driving. He left a message and I listened to it.

Here is what he said: I got your message(I left it 5pm yesterday). Why does D has 2 more days? She is fine and perfect. They just want more money, right? Why? How is your father?

I just couldn't stop crying. It is like that my wound is starting to heal, and he poked it and robbed salt on it. I was hurt, sad and angry and anything you name it. How can a human being become such cold blooded person?

I don't want to call him back. I hate him.

SH's office called me to reschedule the appointment for tomorrow 7;00am ,y time. THey sounded very understandable and sympathatic.

I also called Dr's office to reschedule my father appointment. Thye said the lates is 3:30. I told them that I can't make it 3:30. But everytime I was there, I had to wait for long time, this time the Dr. has better wait for me if he is not late. The receptionist said ok, I will make a note.

oh lost, my heart is just gladdened for you. just the little special time you had w/your S about going to mcdonald's and picking berries, how wonderful! isn't God good? he continues to provide for us like he said he would and he provided alternate transportation for your son and someone else to going to the closing for you. daughter #1 priority, you love your dad and i'm sure he knows that and would take him if you could and like you said about having to wait at the dr.'s office maybe by the time the dr. is ready to see your dad you will be there.

i wanted to relay a couple of things. we sang a song at church on sunday and made me think of your H (and you). this is the verse i'm thinking of "Lord, now indeed I find they power and thine alone, can change the leperd's spots and melt the heart of stone. Jesus paid it all, all to him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow."

Your H's heart can be melted and who's to say it won't be some day. as you well know things don't happen in our time frames but God's. but the song verse also applies to those of us who believe and how much we have been changed as well. God has changed my heart so incredibly much that some times i just cry and sob because of what he has done in me through all of this. not saying this to brag on me but that the BS goes through a lot of changes and a lot of them are forced upon us because of the situation and the choices that the WS make but so many of these changes are for the good.

also wanted to share this Bible verse w/you, it's Mark 11:24 "therefore I say unto you, what things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them." let us know when you are able to reschedule appt w/SH. continued strength and prayers to you, RR

<small>[ June 29, 2004, 02:25 PM: Message edited by: roughroad ]</small>

It's been a looooooooong day. Just came home with all the driving. But Wh showed up and he was cooking. I bought pizza on the way home b/c I was too tired to cook. I don't want him to be here.

Now he is out there cutting the lawn. I even didn't know what to say to him. It is so hard. How will this whole thing end?

He sure seems to show up when you DON'T need him. What's up with that?

I would speak to him and tell him you need him to be around more.

After going back and forth couple times, finally took my father to the dr. It was one hour free way drive form the center to his apartment. We arrived at 4pm, waited for another 40 min before being seen. His cold was no big deal, it was viral. But the dr. had him take the bone density test, he had serve asteoprosis(sp?). Now he had to take medicine and do excersice. I am really afraid that he will get his bone broken, then I will be in deep trouble.

WH knew that I was mad at him. I didn't return his phone call. Now I don't want to talk to him, just see him as transparent. I am going to go to bed now. I just don't feel good at all, physically and mentally.

lostnhurt - Sorry you are not feeling well. I don't blame you. You have done your part for too long.