For the past month I have confronted my Wife two times and she still denies nothing is going on and their just friends.......
The evidence I told her was of a cell phone record showing constant calling to the OM's (Yes, theirs two involved), even telling her that and proving it she still say's that nothing is going on and their just friends.......

She is still sneaking around and I am sure their is still contact....
For the past week she is very frustrated at me and we dont talk to each other much, she closes herself in out room and I basically take care of the kids at night....she has also started to feel sick and look depressed.....
I feel she might have been having problems with the OM and it might not be going to well due to her depression and she could be scared that I may be getting close with more evidence....

I am not sure what to really do right Now if I should confront her with more evidence ...
Right now she seemed very angry with me and has an attitude towards me.....

Would appriciate any advise.
Thnaks.

deeppain,

FWIW the denial is very normal. People in affairs will deny everything until presented with concrete evidence (like emails, taped phone calls, or walking in on them) and even then sometimes they'll lie about it.

It's also normal for her to be snippy and angry at you. You're ruining all her fun. If she weren't "stuck" with you life would be so much better, blah, blah, blah.

I'd say that since the cellphone record didn't bring about an admission, it's probably time to try to gather more concrete proof and find out more about the OMs so you can expose the A.

Can you put a voice activated recorder in her car? Or install spyware on her PC if she communicates with them that way? If you know who the OMs' wives are then just presenting the cellphone records to them might be enough to convince them to monitor things from their side, too.

thanks Turtlehead for stopping by....

Yes, more concrete evidence is needed...
I was thinking of phone tapping but I am worried about if it is legal to do it in your home.
That would be solid evidence but I also wonder what she will think of me doing it.......
I would like to catch then in the act but my friend said it's not something you would want to vision and stay with you for the rest of your life.....

Yes, I think it is because now she knows I suspect and guessed right on the money who it was was that she is very nervious about get caught and the consiquences to come....
But what confusses me is that she keeps going and calling him like an addiction or something....

Thanks.

It IS AN ADDICTION!!! Get the straight right now! I am a FWW and although I haven't had the best of luck on this site, I am still reading a lot and learning a lot and I feel I need to respond to you, because I may can give you some insight into how your wife feels.

My husband confronted me twice and I denied it all. My OM's wife actually was having us followed and she told my husband about her "evidence". I still denied it. The reason is because I did not WANT to give him (OM) up. This sounds cold, and lord knows I wish I had never done it, but I know why your wife is probably denying it. She doesn't want to give him up because he is meeting some of her NEEDs that you don't meet. She doesn't want to lose having those needs met. You have not given her any sign that you are going to start meeting these needs yourself, so she is clinging to the her OM. PLEASE, check out this entire site and focus on the part about emotional needs.

IF your wife feels that you are going to change...in whatever way...and start meeting the needs that are now being met by her OM, she will then have a reason to give him up. Please don't think I am condoning her affair, but you seem truly lost as to why she won't confess, and I'll almost guarantee the reason I just gave is why. Check out the emotional needs. Acknowledge to her that you realize you must not be doing somethingi that she needs you to do. Maybe IF she feels that you are sincere, she will open up to you, work on the emotional needs with you, admit her affair and give him up. As long as she feels like she will be LOSING something by giving up her OM, she won't do it.

I realize you probably think I'm off the wall, but the one thing that I have learned above all else through my experience (my husband was discovered in an affair 3 weeks ago...that's when I came to this site) it's that men and women THINK DIFFERENTLY. You have no clue what's in her head. She quite likely has no clue what's in yours either. Right now, you want something from her, and she is going to have to feel like she can get something from you before she will do it.

Hope this helps, please don't feel like I'm being critical of you. You seem sincere in your request for help.

Back off.

Let her stew a while.

I got news for ya, bud. My wife NEVER admitted anything - starting four years ago - and she married the dolt she wasn't having an affair with, yet she STILL denies she had an affair to this day.

So drop this teensy, weensy establishment of fact.

You know it, I know it, she knows it.

Who else matters? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Re-read NobodyToTalkTo's reply to you. Very insightful.

Get hot on Plan A and STOP CONFRONTING her until you have no $hit, deer in the headlights evidence.

But don't go out of your way getting it. It'll come if you back off. She'll get sloppy and careless. It'll come.

Plan A, Plan A, Plan A. Ki$$ her butt.

Find and fix ALL the complaints she has about you.

Then, WHEN you get hard core evidence - expose it, expose it, expose it.

Read the link in my sig line below and get started.