Thinking out loud here mostly...
I guess one of the reasons I thought my H was so honest, and an entirely different person than I learned about from the A's, is how he interacts with my kids.
*If he thinks my kids are being disrespectful to me, he immediately launches into his lecture of how they need to respect me.
(But it's okay for him to be disrepectful of me)
*Found out one of my oldest son's friends took a beer out of our refridgerator (& drank it) during a sleepover. Oldest never said anything to us about it until H noticed a beer was missing from the fridge. (Prior to AA - H knew exactly how many beers were in the fridge at all times). We questioned my kids and H told my son that it's important to be open and honest about these things. Can't keep secrets.
(But it was okay for H to keep all of his secrets)
*If we catch my kids in a lie (nothing major-thankfully-just those stupid little lies about not admitting when they've done something wrong-or it gets blamed on the imaginary sibling Mr. I don't know) H jumps all over them about it.
(But it's okay for H to look me directly in eyes and out-and-out lie.)
What made me think of this is a silly conversation at lunch time. H was trying to decide what to have for lunch. He remembered the boys had some leftover wings from Buffalo Wild Wings and said I'll just have those. Just kidding. Ha ha ha. I said, go ahead...my kids would probably eat your leftover wings as an after school snack. Ha ha ha. H said..."Oh, I would never do that! That wouldn't be right! That wouldn't be fair!"
(But, it was alright for H to have an A. It was fair that H had an A.)
This is not just post-A behavior. He's been having A's, lying to me, keeping secrets since we met/married but correcting my kids the whole time about some of the very same issues.
I asked him about it once. H said "Just because I do it doesn't mean I want them to."
Thankfully...H doesn't preach what he practices!
Hope everyone has a good day!
sss
