Sorry if I am making anyone crazy by posting this. As many of you know I am six months pregnant and have been in plan B for a little over a week. I received a Mothers Day card along with a gift certificate today in the mail from WH. He wrote the following:

I just wanted to thank you for being a mother. I know our son will love and cherish you for all his life. I hope you have a great day with your family.
Give them my best. I am truly sorry for hurting you. I never meant for our lives to turn out this way. I will always be there for you and my dearest little son. I hope our friendship endures this and we always put our son first. I will love him with all of my heart. I can't wait to see him. He is on my mind every second. God bless you on your day.
Love, WH

Is there any hope in this or is it just relieving guilt??

Sorry, just guilt. But you can still have your marriage back. Stay dark, in Plan B. He is sorry, but not sorry enough to get rid of OW. Sounds like my WH.

Stay in Plan B. It is your best hope. Post here when you are going crazy. And keep it in your mind that most WS's come back to the marriage.

It is very sad for you right now, but won't always be like that. When you have your child, it will feel like no one, ever, has had a child like yours. After I had my 2 sons, I was up all night, just looking at them.

Sorry to have to say, but ignore it.

No sense in trying to use logic to interpret it, because it doesn't come from logic.

I ask you this: If he really believed what he was saying, would he be having an affair?

"I will always be there for you and our dearest little son"?????????????

Is he there now????

No.

Alien abductee. Beam him up.

Too tempting.....I must make fun of this stupid note .... the fog is thick...

I just wanted to thank you for being a mother.

Even though I am trying to make you into a divorced / single mother.

I know our son will love and cherish you for all his life.

Even though I promised to do just that myself .... but, oh well, "all my life" just seems like to much time to ask from me.

I hope you have a great day with your family.

And I hope you enjoy NOT having your baby's father with you on Mother's Day.


Give them my best.

Because I certainly won't be there to give them my best in person.

I am truly sorry for hurting you.

But, you'll be just fine. Pregnant and alone on Mother's day while I have a day with OW. Aren't you concerned for my happiness too?

I never meant for our lives to turn out this way.

I just never took vows all that seriously. Sorry.

I will always be there for you and my dearest little son.

Except of course when it is inconvenient for me to be there .... like on Mother's Day. Oh well.

I hope our friendship endures this and we always put our son first.

Or at least second, after OW.

I will love him with all of my heart.

And this time I mean it ... not like when I told you I'd love you with all my heart on our wedding day. THIS TIME I am sincere. Really... !

I can't wait to see him.

But, if it's on a day I am busy with OW ... baby won't mind rescheduling, doncha think? The OW can't wait to be baby's step mother .... you know she's really a good person.

He is on my mind every second.

Except on Mother's Day...and, also maybe on other days too.... days I might spend seeing a woman who doesn't mind breaking up a little baby's family. She is that good a person, remember?

God bless you on your day.

God help me, I am such a schmuck!


<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<small>[ May 06, 2004, 08:41 PM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

Plan BBBBBBBBBBBBB

Don't respond.

He's massaging his ego. He's not making any remarks that actually HELP you out in your dilemma.

All to make him "appear" less of a louse...

Guilt is good for him .... he's earned it.

Pep

I agree totally. That was very funny. He wants to come mow again on Sunday. I think he may be helping OW move out that day too. I want to tell him not to bother but also want to stay dark!!

Listen to pep -she gives good advice.

durham - you're doing good if you can see what we're saying.

Hang with us and we'll keep you out of his trap.

Can you see what he's doing???

Desperately trying to make himself feel good?

We will NOT steer you wrong. We've seen it all before. We know more about what's going on in his head than he does. This is NOT based on conjecture or wild [censored] guesses. It's based on the experience of seeing it all before.

We don't/can't guarantee that he'll come crawling back to you. But we do guarantee that you'll end up - no matter the outcome - in the best place possible.

Take care of your baby. Believe me, I know how precious life is.

WAT

durham,

Glad to see you have your sense of humor intact. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hide the lawnmower, or find someone else to hide the lawnmower if you cannot and it is too heavy for you during pregnancy.

Change your locks and go very dark. Do not respond.

And/Or, reply by email. Say, "please do not mow my lawn. Refer to plan B letter if you have any questions."

Perhaps you could say(per Orchid), "and if you see my husband, tell him I love him and miss him."
Which is returning fogbabble.

((((((hugs))))))) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

You are doing great. You are getting the best advice. Hang in there. You have the MOST wonderful people here helping you.

Praying for your situation, and take care of yourself. You are worthy.

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Have the intermediary communicate to him. An email from her is what he wants.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by durham76:
<strong> I agree totally. That was very funny. He wants to come mow again on Sunday. I think he may be helping OW move out that day too. I want to tell him not to bother but also want to stay dark!! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">durham, you MUST tell him not to come over in ORDER TO STAY DARK!! Send him a polite email telling him not to come over and to respect your wishes for no contact. No contact means he DOES NOT come over!

Durham
I don't think the card is anything more than him trying to relieve his guilt. There has to be some hope that plan B is working if he sends a card your on his mind even if its for the wrong reasons. Hang in there.

Pep
When you fill out job applications to you put that you are fluent in fogese. I'm sure your skills are in high demand. Your post made me LOL and that is much needed these days.

<small>[ May 07, 2004, 12:20 AM: Message edited by: limbojenn ]</small>

Durham,

Have intermediary inform WH that you will hire somebody to mow the lawn for you (or will have a friend do it).

Stay darker than ever now.

I totally agree with the fogese translation.

Also, he's going to be miserable with OW on Mother's Day - maybe even starting to resent/blame her (or at least their adultery) for hurting you. And OW will be expecting him to act like he's having fun and not thinking about you and the baby. If he's quiet or moody she will notice it... just the right ingredients for them to LB each other. Meanwhile, YOU have the best day ever. No really - I'm NOT kidding! Anytime you start to feel down just picture the two of them TRYING to pretend they're enjoying each other's company, desparately trying to assure themselves what they're doing is somehow decent. Yuckiest way to spend Mother's Day: spending it being a homewrecker OW.

durham, i'm not going to be saying anything that has been already said but just wanted to let you know that i'm praying for you too. what's he's doing, anything he does now, is to make him feel better about himself. plan B is staying dark on your part, you can't stop him from contacting you or trying to contact you. use the intermediary to contact him to remind him the plan B letter and that you will be taking of the mowing yourself.

don't remember but have you found a counselor yet? really important. read the scriptures that i have in my signature line. wishing you much strength and prayers to you, RR

Y'all, it is not breaking contact to refer your WS to your PBL and ask them to respect your wish for no contact. You may to have to do this SEVERAL times over the duration of Plan B. That is much more desirable than letting him come home and get a "fix."

You simply email him and ask him to respect your request for no contact and refer him back to the PBL - like a broken record. One or two short sentences in an email.

I will contact the intermediary about mowing today. I am really enjoying plan B until he contacts me. It is quite annoying. I want to say save it for someone who cares. I hate reading his crap. My birthday is also coming up. I can't wait to see what that brings. I hope he dies of guilt.

Melody is right that a short note telling him to refresh his memory by referring to the Plan B letter is right, but at the same time, I was incapable of communicating with him IN ANY WAY, without it eventually escalating to full communication and getting way out of hand. The several times we had contact while he was in Plan B were terrible, and probably did more damage to our M than anything else, except maybe the A.

I love speaking through an intermediary. It is awesome. I communicate just what I need to, and am comepletely dark now.

And everyone is right, mother's day will suck for him. TOTALLY SUCK. If he has any dignity, integrity, manhood anywhere in that fogged out brain of his, he should be HATING himself that day.

DARK DARK DARK DARK DARK DARK DARK. Who knows, you may just play this so well, he will be coming out of the clouds in time to see his baby.

He is trying to convince HIMSELF right now that he is not a loser. AND IT IS NOT going to work, until he does what he knows in his heart he needs to do.

Stay dark durham, it took my W three weeks to finally send me a email. So let your H feel guilty just as he should. Just stay dark.