don't know if you saw or read my reply to what you posted on tinman's thread about the talk you had w/your IL's so i'm just going to post it again here. still know that we are all pulling for you and each other.
oh gosh ethan, i have a real hard time considering that God may not want me and my H to get back together. why would God want this? my pastor doesn't feel God does and SH doesn't feel that way. my mom just says that i need to consider that. what better of a testimony could i be to my H then to show and prove to him the miracles that God has worked inside me? i am literally just not able to get angry right now, i can't believe that, i mean i don't even get mad if someone pulls in front of me on the road, the anger is just not there and that is soley because of God and i have to keep praying that i will continue what i'm doing and that evenutally my H will be convicted to stop the A and will soften his heart to me again.
maybe in light of the new info you have and your current frustrations you start to detach more from your IL's? i don't know it's just a thought. i would probably at least let them know (again) that it is just to painful for you to talk about and while you love their daughter and want your M to be rebuilt you are just not able to discuss it w/anyone except your therapists (us). because maybe your MIL tells you these things to see how you react and then report it back to your W. don't know, just another thought.
i'm sure you have heard about Job from the old testament in the Bible and all he went through and he refused to curse God for what he's going through. not that you are cursing God but that everyone around him was telling him to curse God, even his wife, and he didn't. his wife eventually came around to understand why he couldn't and maybe that's your role now.
here's another things to keep in mind, i can't take credit for them, some i have found on this site by other posters and others i have found on the internet.
"of our greatest fears, come our bravest deeds"
"life is a storm my young friend. you will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. what makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes." the count of monte cristo.
"be good to those who are good and to those who are not, for good ness increases goodness. have faith in those who are fiathful and in those who are not. for fiath brings greater faith and goodness and faith bring peace." 500 BC by Lao Tzu
"the Lord replied, my son, my precious child, i love you and would never leave you. during your times of trial and suffereing, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that i carried you." from FOOTPRINTS author unknown.
"if you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow." chinese proverb.
wishing you much strength and continued prayers, RR
