Hi RR,

I wanted to chime in on the recreational issue topic that you brought up in your other thread because it is something that I think is important for many BS's here on this board.

My husband travels a great deal and I'm often alone. Now I have a lot of friends and great neighbors who often act as 'surrogate parents' to me since I do not have family in this country, but often I prefer my own company.

I love going to the movies by myself; I go hiking, biking by myself and take the dog on walks. Heck, I even cook myself delicious gourmet meals sometimes and I set the table with flowers and candles just for myself. Some people might think that is strange, but I have found that it actually feels good to do stuff for myself. This does not mean that I do not enjoy the company of my friends and I'm definitely not a loner, but once in a while I reserve a weekend just for myself. I will stay in bed as long as I want, eat breakfast in bed, leave lots of crumbs all over the sheets (and nobody complains...), I will watch movies that only I like, read my books until noon, clean, play my music loud, dance, sing along, take the dog for walks. I don't mind going to a restaurant all by myself or to the movies. It actually can be a lot of fun.

Just some ideas!

Kati

yes, all good ideas and i actually do quite a bit of those as well. of course, don't have a lot of choice sometimes.

i guess part of me is coming from the fact that i feel like i put myself before my H and my M too often in the past and maybe if i would have welcomed my H more and appreciated him more I wouldn't have felt the need to do things by myself. does that make sense? for example, when i felt like i was getting stressed out, i would go and get a room on base (i was active duty at the time) and just spend a couple of days their to get away from my life (phone, bills, house, dogs, etc.) and i never felt guilty about doing this at the time because i thought i was saving my H from dealing w/me when i was feeling like i was.

i've never been someone who was really social, like you when i'm around people, i'm fine but i've never really sought out those situations. i've never complained about being at home by myself and just watching TV. whereas, my H could absolutely not stand it and said he had to have someone to talk to. so now i think that if i would have just shared myself more w/my H then maybe things would be different. i do try not to dwell on that but you know how things just pop up in your mind.

i will still continue to go to the mall, the bookstore, petstore, to church by myself, and that's okay. when i do get my dogs again, i am definitely going to be doing more stuff w/them especially camping. but still a little sad cuz i wish i was doing them w/my H. oh well, it's about making ourselves stronger and more confident right? and God can give us what we need to sustain ourselves. thanks for the post, you're helping to give others self-esteem and hope that inturn helps your self-esteem. continued prayers to you, RR