Hi, I'm new here. I posted this over in emotional needs, but I'm not sure if it's the right place, so I will try here too.
I have been lurking for awhile. Please try to go easy on me after I tell my story. I need some advice. Here's a brief history: I have been married for just over 2 years. I love my husband. He is a kind, gentle, hardworking man. We dated and lived together for 3 years before we married. All in all, we get along, have alot of fun together and there's no major issues.
Here's my issue. Thoughts of an old boyfriend have plagued me for many years. I wouldn't really even call him an old boyfriend....more like a childhood sweetheart. Nothing ever happened between us, other than hand-holding and a peck on the cheeck. I have dreams about him all the time. In the months leading up before my marriage, the thoughts and dreams were frequent. I dismissed them as "saying goodbye" to my childhood and moving onto the next stage in my life. Since marriage, the dreams have died down somwhat, but they still plague me. Here's the kicker....the old boyfriend is still considered a friend to both my husband and me. We live very far apart, but have remained in contact throughout the years (an occasional email). My husband knows very well about the contact and it's not something I try to hide, nor feel guilty about....it's just always been that way....we've always kept a friendly contact going. Old boyfriend is married as well.
After I have one of these dreams, I always feel guilty even though I don't have any control over them. They're not s*xual dreams...more emotional type. Then I will think about old boyfriend and wonder...what if?? I haven't told my husband about the dreams. I don't know if I could ever bring myself to tell him.
What can I do to make these dreams stop? Are my dreams trying to tell me something? I hope you all don't think I'm a bad person for this. It was very difficult to finally "get this out" and post on here. Has anyone had a similiar experience? Any advice is appreciated.
