I am struggling here guys, I want to talk with him so horribly bad, but he doesn't return phone calls nor e-mails....

Don't think he'll ever come home now that he's left his family.. Guess his life in new state with OW is more important...

Last night he got angry that I congradulated him on engagement which I heard about from PI that he sent e-mail stating "Go for Divorce" He's done!

Seems to me he was done when he left his home and family. Unfortunately OW's Husband and children are so devasted it horrible... He kids want their mother so bad and her hubby is dieing without her. and here they sit happy, how can anyone be happy after hurting so many people.

ALL I know is I am lost without him, I am loney,
sad, hurt, devasted, and still love him WHY?????

How can I get this mad back into my life? He's apparently loving his new life and doesn't seem to care about us anymore.

Please help me get through this, I am dieing trying to cope and remain strong infront of my boys.

Angel what plan are you in? The only advice I can give is work on yourself for now, your H has been abducted by the aliens. Have you directed the OW H to this sight? Have you exposed the A?

Tinman,

Thanks for reply - yes affair was exposed by me, I sent all info to her spouse and then he hired a PI to gather add'l info. She has been served with Adultery papers before she and my husband left for South Carolina.

I am trying to maintain Plan B and not speak with him and act like I don't care but it's killing me.
ALl I want to do is talk to him, hear his voice but HE doesn't reply to any messages I leave or e-mails I send. I know I must stop sending messages and calling but I can't seem to help myself. How do I accomplish this???

I have filed for divorce - waiting for H to be served, since he left the state we are waiting for OW to come home and visit the 3 kids she left behind.. which she doesn't want.....

He is paying for nothing and taken all the money so it's not leaving me very many options. How can a man who cares about his family take the last dollar they have and refuse to send more....

I don't actually see this as ever working out in my favor and I realize I must find the strength to move forward without him and be strong.... He obviously doesn't want his family or he wouldn't have left.

As for OW spouse, I have offered info about this site, he is in counseling he's so devasted, he begs his wife (OW) to come home everyday, really believes they can work it out.

BUT, she see's money in my husband and is taking him for every cent he's got.... he;s buying her gifts, rings, cars, and even a new triple engine boat so I hear..... Can't image how he's doing it all???? Why would she leave such money behind to go home and be just another women.... My H doesn't see she's using him, he thinks it true love - maybe her love of his money and being stupid is all.

How do I stick with PLAN B and survive? Do many people ever come around and become one again?

Angel

Angel when did you find out? I know this is a hard time in your life and right now it's time to work on you. Have you thought about doing counseling through this sight? They will give you a plan. When you found out did you file for DV right away? Did your H file for DV? I don't know how long this last's each case is different, as you can see I'm still waiting if you read my tagline. How long have you been doing Plan B? Did you do a steller Plan A before Plan B? I know alot of questions. I found that when I wanted to call and talk to my W I would call a family member like my brother, sister in law, or my parents so at least I was talking to someone but not my W.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Angel with no Wings:


I am trying to maintain Plan B and not speak with him and act like I don't care but it's killing me.
ALl I want to do is talk to him, hear his voice but HE doesn't reply to any messages I leave or e-mails I send. I know I must stop sending messages and calling but I can't seem to help myself. How do I accomplish this???</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You don't call him or chase him, that is how you accomplish this. You come here and vent instead. Its not like you don't have control over your actions, YOU DO.

Did you send him a Plan B letter? When was that sent?


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How do I stick with PLAN B and survive? Do many people ever come around and become one again?

Angel [/qb]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How do people survive WITHOUT Plan B?? That is the better question. Plan B does one of two things, it yanks the WS off the fence and hastens the end of the affair OR it helps the BS detach emotionally so he can move forward to D if necessary.

Either way, PB enables the BS to live in peace after a few weeks when they have detached from the WS. The pain is greatly alleviated the longer one is in Plan B because no contact means the affair is not being rubbed in her face every day.

<small>[ May 08, 2004, 08:50 PM: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</small>

Chances are your WH will come back. So try to stick to NC. He and OW are temporarily insane. It is how they get. Please try to take care of yourself, and come here. We will help you through this.

Angel,

I can relate to where you are coming from. My WH has moved out and I am dying to talk to him. He is my best friend and I miss him like crazy.

However I do believe in the principles of marriage builders so stick with Plan B and avoid contact with your WH. Keeping coming here for encouragement and support. Hopefully your WH will come around.

Hi Angel- I had alot of similar thoughts when my WH ran off to be with OW and filed for divorce on me. I really thought things were completely over.That's what he said and I spent endless hours crying and trying to figure out how things had come to this. It proved not to be the case in the long run. My WH was in a HUGE mid life crisis and thought at the time that OW was his soulmate and the answer to all his life's dilemmas . My mom told me that "Someone has to be the grown-up here and right now that is YOU." Keep control of YOUR thoughts and quit chasing after the two of them for scraps right now. Neither your H or OW is a resident in the land of reality and responsibility right now. Both of them have children, homes, responsibilities that they are pretending don't exist. Think of them as definitely temporarily insane. Focus on protecting your own emotional well being rather than pursuing them. From the time my WH got involved with the OW he chose to blame me for everything bad in his life and was rushing toward a divorce after we separated-- then reality proved to be a wake-up call and he told me he finally realized he was making the worst mistake of his life! My WH's affair was like a severe drug addiction and he had to reach rock bottom before he started to climb back up. Take care- lifeismessy

Haven't followed Plan A entirely or Plan B completly. Can you forward copy of both., I gave mine to hubby last time I saw him...

The words of wisdom, they are both running from their pasts, acting like no responsibilities, no children, no ties....when in reality we all sit and wait, two separate families in devastation over two people who have chosen to hurt all of us.

I try each day not to think about him, not to allow myself to hurt or cry, I try to tell myself I am better off without him and I will find someone else eventually who will appreciate me more and love me with his whole heart, then I wake up in the morning and feel the saddness again and feel the pain and devastation.....and it starts all over again.

I've lost my best friend and it hurts so bad....
I wonder how they can hurt us like this....just walk away and not look back, what have we done to cause them to do this....

I do see a counselor, but H isn't sending any money and I will not be able to attend my appt next week...money buys you everything.

D-Day for the 6th time was 4/21 and since this time he rarely calls and doesn't seem to want me..
Before this each time he left he would e-mail me with words of wisdom and tell me he knew he needed to come home, and loved his family, this time he ran out of state far away so he wouldn't take the chance of returning to us once again.

I went for divorce in order to protect myself financially, right now he's giving me no money and paying for nothing, infact I leave messages asking for new address to send bills and I get no response...... At first he said no to worry about divorce, he didn't know what he wanted., don't do anything that's not reversible, then I rec'd e-mail saying "Go For Divorce" "He's Done"
after i left message with info I found out about him supposely being engaged to her, buying her new car which is on order, I questioned WHY and how and my response was " I had mis-information, I had no idea" and because of that statement he was done with us.....

Shall I allow him to be done, and proceed with divorce????

I want my marriage back and my boys father, but it doesn't appear that will happen.

I tell myself maybe I should just let it all go,
If I can find the will to do so., and wait for a brighter day, maybe I will find someone who truely loves me and will never hurt me again.

My lonely days are long, lonely nights are horrible, memories are bright and my bond for him is unbeliveable.

I need all the support I can get right now, guide me in the right direction, help me get past this feeling of "NEED" help me focus on myself and help me move forward......

Haven't followed Plan A entirely or Plan B completly. Can you forward copy of both., I gave mine to hubby last time I saw him...

The words of wisdom, they are both running from their pasts, acting like no responsibilities, no children, no ties....when in reality we all sit and wait, two separate families in devastation over two people who have chosen to hurt all of us.

I try each day not to think about him, not to allow myself to hurt or cry, I try to tell myself I am better off without him and I will find someone else eventually who will appreciate me more and love me with his whole heart, then I wake up in the morning and feel the saddness again and feel the pain and devastation.....and it starts all over again.

I've lost my best friend and it hurts so bad....
I wonder how they can hurt us like this....just walk away and not look back, what have we done to cause them to do this....

I do see a counselor, but H isn't sending any money and I will not be able to attend my appt next week...money buys you everything.

D-Day for the 6th time was 4/21 and since this time he rarely calls and doesn't seem to want me..
Before this each time he left he would e-mail me with words of wisdom and tell me he knew he needed to come home, and loved his family, this time he ran out of state far away so he wouldn't take the chance of returning to us once again.

I went for divorce in order to protect myself financially, right now he's giving me no money and paying for nothing, infact I leave messages asking for new address to send bills and I get no response...... At first he said no to worry about divorce, he didn't know what he wanted., don't do anything that's not reversible, then I rec'd e-mail saying "Go For Divorce" "He's Done"
after i left message with info I found out about him supposely being engaged to her, buying her new car which is on order, I questioned WHY and how and my response was " I had mis-information, I had no idea" and because of that statement he was done with us.....

Shall I allow him to be done, and proceed with divorce????

I want my marriage back and my boys father, but it doesn't appear that will happen.

I tell myself maybe I should just let it all go,
If I can find the will to do so., and wait for a brighter day, maybe I will find someone who truely loves me and will never hurt me again.

My lonely days are long, lonely nights are horrible, memories are bright and my bond for him is unbeliveable.

I need all the support I can get right now, guide me in the right direction, help me get past this feeling of "NEED" help me focus on myself and help me move forward......