I thought I was ok.

Things have really been going well between us (as well as can be expected, anyway). I know, I know, he's on a cruise with HER. He purchased the trip a couple of months ago - and a LOT has happened since then. I never expected him to cancel it.

I thought I'd emotionally prepared myself for what happens if he returns renewed in his 'love' for her, but now I'm just anxiety ridden. He sent me an email before his departure, specifically asking me NOT to think about what he's doing b/c he doesn't want me to hurt (?????). I've been able to accomplish a lot of things this weekend, but forgetting where he is and what he's doing is not one of them.

And before you guys slam me with "TIME TO GO TO PLAN B" posts, I am just not ready. That's a whole other post in and of itself... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I have really felt good about us lately, and I'm so nervous about his return. I guess that's the point of this post - more of a rant than a question.

Anyway, wish me luck with this - and thanks for reading.

And Happy Mother's Day to any moms and/or Mr. Moms out there. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Yikes.

I dunno what else to say. I'm not real full of advice lately...

I hope things work out for you.

dewt

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Wanting Him Back:
<strong>
And before you guys slam me with "TIME TO GO TO PLAN B" posts, I am just not ready. That's a whole other post in and of itself... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I have really felt good about us lately, and I'm so nervous about his return. I guess that's the point of this post - more of a rant than a question.

D </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">WHB, I am not sure what about all this makes you feel good about things. Your H is off on a cruise with another woman and I am scratching my head about what you could possibly find to feel good about?

I realize that Plan B is hard, but isn't the affair much harder? I don't understand why you wouldn't do everything you can to END the affair? Isn't the affair very hard to stomach? I know for me, I could not stomach an affair being rubbed in my nose every day and would move heaven and earth to end it.

Why wouldn't you do that?

Dear 'Wanting Him Back'
In case you missed 'Lostva's' story, re-posted by 'Resilient' and think it will be the TONIC you need to give you hope and keep you going!

Very sincerely, Julie
Here it is, Lostva's story of HOPE and HEALING of a Marriage!

"Ok, so you guys do realize that I tend to get wordy and talk WAYYYYY too much and you STILL want me to do this, right? I'm gonna touch on a lotta stuff here. I'd shied away from posting lately, but I've actually been ASKED my opinion!! You guys don't know what a mind-field you've set off here!!

Now, I'm not particularly wise and wonderful, but I can share with you my experiences and feelings, but that's all. And sometimes those feelings don't follow the norm, so be forewarned.

OK, history first, I guess. One Monday, last spring, Robert walked in after work. He leaned over to kiss me and I said "Hi, Honey, I love you." He said, "Hi. I love you, too, but not like I used to - we need to talk." That was my last kiss. And the night of the "I love you but not IN love with you stuff." Also the last "I love you" in any form.

Within a week, he didn't love me at all, couldn't stand the sight of me, our marriage had been a mistake and he wished he had never married me. Knew our relationship had been a mistake since the beginning (TEN YEARS???) and it never should have happened. Kristin didn't care for him at all and never would. His family couldn't stand us and we had ruined his life. He couldn't count the number of times he had wished I had been in an accident and died so that he could be released from these "pits of hell". We had NEVER had a good time, never really cared for each other like we should - he couldn't even remember the fun times. And on and on....All this was news to me! We were the couple that most people envied! We had had a hard couple of years, Mom's cancer, Papa's death, but I had NO idea. I wanted to die.

THEN, he told me about PT. She made him feel WONDERFUL. He finally knew what true love really was and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He adored her 3 year old and she loved him. I had NEVER made him feel this way, we were never meant to be, etc......you know the stuff, right? The knife turned. We've all been there.

So, I came here and lurked. And cried. And couldn't sleep, 30 pounds in 30 days, all the standard stuff. One month later, he left to be with her.

When he left, I didn't know where he was. He didn't contact us, not even Kristin. He spent some time visiting his mom, but eventually, cut away from them as well. She was my greatest strength through this mess. Now, don't get me wrong, she welcomed PT into her home, the whole family did. They were afraid they'd lose Robert if they didn't. His sister called me and told me that Robert was finally happy and I should "move on". (Man, I hate those words, what DO they really mean???) But Mom called me daily once she found out what was going on and tried to spy as much as possible. We've gotten closer than I ever imagined we could be.

PT and Robert set up house. He already had her moved into a new place b/f he left. They opened joint bank accounts, he brought her HERE when I wasn't here to get some of his things, set her up with OUR doctor (she supposedly didn't have one), took her all around OUR town (they lived an hour away) as his girlfriend. Told everyone he ran into that we were through. In VA, you have to be separated for 6 months to get divorced and he said as soon as that time was over, we were done. Taught Leah to call him "Daddy". (That hurt worse than ANYTHING, believe it or not.) No financial support whatsoever. Took two vehicles so PT could have one. He called infrequently - when he needed something (until the last month), came by rarely, usually to pick up something or hunt. Didn't give me his address or phone number. Was cold and mean to me - wouldn't talk to Kristin at all hardly (except for once or twice during the whole time.) He was someone I didn't even know.

The first time I posted here, Deb responded first...."You'll be ok, you CAN get through this, there are things you can do." Ok, so there was NO way she could know..I mean, she could NEVER have hurt like I did, loved like I did, been treated as horribly as I was. Ok, I was wrong. She DID know! And she was right - so was everyone else.

I owe my friends here my life. They calmed me down. Showed me I wasn't alone. Cried with me, took deep breaths with me, got me through way too many sleepless nights, laughed with me, and kicked me in the butt and outta feeling sorry for myself when I needed it. I think that was the most important thing of all. And helped me find something to laugh at in the midst of all this mess. I soon discovered I was looking forward to waking every morning.

So, like she said, the rawness eased - the hurt found it's place, continuous sorta, but in it's place. I started paying attention to what people were trying to teach me, got rid of my stubborness and self-righeousness. Ordered books, read, read, read! And started thinking.

You know, Robert couldn't come up with one specific thing about me as a wife that was bad. Even said so himself. But, once I got rid of the old ideas and opened my mind, I COULD!!! I mean, I had worked my butt off to be a good wife, but..... You've heard me say before that he broke the vow of fidelity, but I broke a lot of them too - unknowingly. I wasn't the best PERSON I could be and therefore, not the best wife either.

And I thought about him too. I'd known this man for fifteen years - through good times and what I THOUGHT were bad times (this mess sorta changes your perspective!! ) This was not him...to abandon us, leave us to starve. He and Kristin were "joined at the hip". To say now that he never really loved her, just cared for her? Something was definitely not right. This was NOT him....not from my experience, or that of his family and friends (who he had now begun to turn his back on.) Sooo.....

Well, after reading a few books on the nature of affairs, looking realistically at my contributions to the state of our marriage, listening to my betrayer friends on this site, I started to understand. It took away the sting of his words and actions. Didn't erase it - just took the edge off. Through Harley's books and others, I learned about marriages and affairs. From Phil McGraw, I learned about myself. I was insatiable. My basic personality is to DO something. Now, I had a bit of understanding, AND something I could do! I got stronger and stronger. Sure, there were bad days. Thanksgiving and New Years come to mind, as well as one notable weekend w/ two LB letters. (BTW, I found out that he was thinking hard about coming home at that point and my letters talked him right out of it! The power of a LB!! I'm glad - I wasn't where I needed to be yet!) As I grew stronger, I felt freer. I realized that I had the power. He didn't keep me going, I realized it was up to me to do that, and to keep HIM going, too! Even though he didn't know it.

First decision. Do I love my husband? Yup, more than life itself - not the things he's doing now, but the man he truly is inside. Second. Do I want my marriage back? Nope - but I want a better one. Third - Am I ready to work for it? Absolutely!! I asked myself these three questions every single day. Every morning, before I got out of bed, I asked myself these questions. Same answer.

So I loved him. And respected and believed in the man I KNEW was inside. I learned to look PAST this behavior and into the soul of the man that I was convinced was still there. And tried to understand the torture he was going through - even though he didn't THINK he was. I knew now, right? I took the good little signs and they sustained my love. I blew off the bad stuff as part of the addiction. So it wouldn't KILL my love. I believed in him and lit a candle (still do, for us and all my friends) and every time I passed it, I told him I loved him and I believed in him. The coolest part was I was also beginning to believe in ME!! TNT taught me that, the power of words and belief.

Since I couldn't talk to him, I wrote a letter to him once a week and sent it to his mom's. Pop would deliver it to work for me. They were light, funny, flirty, news from home - like he was away from camp and homesick!! Works of art that I worked hard on at first, then seemed to come more easily. Somewhere in each letter, when appropriate, I compared something that I was telling him with a good memory of ours (and then this happened and you know it was just like when we....)and laughed about it. I ended each one with "I love you and I will always believe in you." I never took off my rings. He commented on that once - asked why I was wearing them - really angry sounding. I told him I loved him, I was married to him and I would always be married to him in my heart. He looked annoyed at first, looked like he was gonna yell at me and then got quiet for a minute. Then, with a strange look on his face, he said quietly "Thank you, Lori." I laughed and flirted when I saw him. Once or twice, I teared up, but not often. I saved that for when I was alone. At the end of each of the few visits, I hugged him goodbye and said "I love you." I got nothing except "You DO know I'm getting a divorce and marrying PT - no matter what. And even if I didn't marry her, I'll never come back." I just told him to do what he needed to do, but I'd always love him. I never discussed PT with him, never mentioned her name. I never discussed us or our marriage. If he brought it up, I'd just say I loved him and I wanted what would make him happy. No more. He'd just look at me like I had lost my mind.

At first it was "pretending". But I was working on me too, with the help of my favorite book by Phil McGraw. And I wasn't sitting around waiting. I continued to love him, but I had a daughter to raise and life was happening. I knew I couldn't support us and keep this house. She couldn't stay in private school. And I didn't have much time. I knew my job would be ending, just didn't know when. So I enrolled her in public school, started working on the house to sell it. Went to HS football games, shopping with friends, movies with the kids, whatever. I enjoyed more days than I didn't. And grew stronger. So, soon, I didn't have to pretend. During this time, I forgave him. Don't remember when or how, just all of a sudden, realized that I wasn't angry and didn't hold anything against him. Robert had held marriage sacred, had always been there for me, no matter what. Had NO respect whatsoever for any SOB who would stray and was very verbal about it. For a good, kind and decent man - the most wonderful man I ever knew to turn his back on everything that had ever been important to him - something was wrong. And I couldn't love him and not forgive him for something that took him over so completely. I learned to laugh. I began sleeping, I began to live. But I didn't stop loving him. I think THAT'S moving on.

Around Dec. he started calling a bit more, bogus reasons, favors he needed. Still talking divorce. But finally communicating a bit. I just listened. Never talked about us. See, now I wasn't "playing" him to get him back. I was REALLY his friend! You know? I cared about him, loved him and wanted what was best for him. Like a real friend would. So, it was getting easier most of the time. Of course, I still wanted him back, but, I wasn't obsessing anymore. He called one day at work, wanted the Dr.'s phone number and wound up getting really nasty with me. I patiently listened and let him talk, no matter what he said, and eventually discovered that he had had a seizure, the first in 20 years, the Friday b/f. Once I thought about it and the way I know my husband is, I realized he could've looked the phone number up in the directory. He needed to talk - he was scared. And, for him, scared turns into angry. And I was the target. Why? Because I was the one he could trust. And I was there for him. I found out later, I was right. Without even realizing it, when he got scared, he turned to me.

In January, I got that letter. And 4 days later, he asked to come home. We took a month to make the transition and see each other. He still had not said "I love you." That came during that month. So did our first conversations about us since that very first week. I found out later that he thought he came home b/c he decided he SHOULD. Now, it didn't hurt that PT had been a B**** and I had become someone he enjoyed being around. He told his family he really "liked" me now - I was still Lori, but "more somehow". And I really liked me too - a whole lot more than I did before. I was very proud of myself for what I was doing - for my marriage and for me personally. That shines through, I think. It seems that he had been doing a lot of thinking - for practically the whole time. And then, one day, he heard a song, and it stuck in his head, reminding him of committment and all that stuff. He pushed it away and wrote that letter - fighting the thoughts. Well, on his way over here on Saturday, he heard it again. And he decided. He couldn't "move on" until he had finished this. He was coming over to fix my dryer for me (the FIRST thing he had ever offered to do) and wound up taking me for a ride and asking to come home. No real romance there, guys.

The first few weeks were unsettling. PT pulled hard and so did his emotions. There's so much guilt and other stuff. He said he wanted to move out on day 3. He tested me constantly to see if I was real and if my love was real. And, then, very slowly, he became strong. And we began to fall in love. And now, he tells me he loves me forever, loved me even when he didn't love me (that makes sense to me for some reason) and that he's 100% "in love" with me (I hate THAT phrase, too, but I'll take it from him! ) He also says he admires my courage, respects me for respecting him, even when I had no reason to, and that my believing in him made him strong. I don't take credit for all that, but it sure feels good to hear it.

Ok, now for opinions. Don't blast me, ok? I never felt humiliated or shamed. We made mistakes and bad judgements, but...stuff happens. I had small spurts of anger - at specific THINGS he did and said, but anger has never come easily for me - I believe it's simply another way of showing hurt, so I never really had to deal with the slow burning continuous anger - I just let myself hurt and dealt with it. Tootrusting is right - we can't force them. THEY have to figure it out on their own. All we can do is be there and love them - if we choose to.... and that's what it is - a choice. We're not doormats or any such nonsense. We're strong and independent and coping with a difficult situation, thank you. And this is NOT for wimps! I can't think of anything less doormatty (like that word? ) than standing strong for what you believe in in the face of all the nonsense. But I'd be there for my child and I decided I'd sure as hell be there for my husband as long as he'd let me - and sometimes, even when he wouldn't. A lot of times it would've been a lot easier to run - For my short time, I chose the other path.


Robert didn't decide "all of a sudden". All those months of Plan A (I just do NOT have a Plan B personality!) were slowly building impressions that were eating away at his subconscious. When the time was right, a trigger (the song) brought them to the surface. I'm not so sure that he really did it to "do the right thing." I think that's the excuse for doing what he wanted to do, know what I mean? I mean, his love just grew too quickly to have just been "doing the right thing." He didn't change his mind quickly. Everything was slowing bringing him back to reality - we just couldn't see it. PT was being a B*****. I was being an angel. The fog was wearing thin. The letter was a last grasp to hang on to the "I'll never go back" thing. Fighting back against those nagging thoughts. I found out later that every time he left here, no matter how awful he was to me, he went home and was MORE awful to PT - or quiet and sullen. Then, he'd go out and do something WONDERFUL for her.....trying to hold on, know what I mean? Remember the little Dutch boy? A tiny hole in a dam is NOT a big thing. But that little bit of water, seeping through, DOES eventually break it down! That's Plan A. That's what happened to Robert, I think and so does his mom. It didn't happen all of a sudden, the damn dam just finally broke against the consistant gentle force of the water!!! (I just LOVE analogies - even corny ones! )

OK, warned you this would be long and I don't even know if I've helped at all. The saddest part is that it WAS longer....I actually pared it down a bit! TNT summed it up better than me.

Ok, so that's the closest I can come to a nutshell version. If I missed a question, let me know. I'll try NOT to be so wordy the next time around.

Good luck to you.

Love and prayers,

Lori"

<small>[ May 09, 2004, 09:09 AM: Message edited by: Blessed TIME ]</small>

dewt - I know you're at a loss. I'm at a loss, too. BTW, I have read some of your posts. I couldn't even BEGIN to give advice - but I thank you for chiming in my post anyway. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Blessed Time - thank you for reposting that story. THAT is why I come to this board - the positive reinforcement that "outsiders" don't understand. I have read it before (and know that OTers do not like its use as a successful plan A story), and have found comfort in its presence. I suppose I am like lostva and do not have a plan B personality. I'm not saying it won't come to that at some point, but I am certainly NOT there. And frankly, what good would plan B do me if I did it half a$$ed?

MelodyLane - Many things have changed between us in the last few weeks. We have really begun to take some positive steps forward. To wit:
1. He has moved OUT of her apartment and into his own
2. He defended ME when she was out of line
3. He has been much more relaxed and at ease with me since he decided to move out of her place
4. He sometimes calls at night just to talk to me, not just the kids
5. He shows remorse, even if in small doses (at least I know he's in there SOMEWHERE)
6. We have had several discussions about feelings, and one very BIG discussion about problems in our sex life
7. He was jealous when he knew I was going out with his step brother, although I repeatedly told him we were just going out because all my girlfriends were busy
8. He has begun to tell me I look nice, something he hasn't done since DDay
9. He made reference to 'our' money - again, something he hasn't done since DDay
10. He has told me that her behavior has made him realize some unattractive things about her, and that he is 'optimistic' something positive will come out of it

As for the affair being rubbed in my face... quite frankly, it is not. He does everything he can to shield me from it, and we don't discuss it. So when he is here, I am doing the best plan A I can possibly do - for me, that means putting the affair out of my head. And, for me, it works.

I know that one of the OW's faults is her pushy and manipulative ways. WH can't stand it. I guess what I'm hoping is that if he DOES come home with renewed feelings for her, they will quickly be dashed when she pushes him to move back in with her. It'll suck in the mean time, but I guess we'll see.

I am left wondering, too, if he missed me - or even thought of me. Since we have been on that exact same cruise ship before...

Thanks again, everyone -
- WHB

WHB, I do think those are positive signs, but taken into context of his continued relationship with the OW, it sure doesn't rule out Plan B, it rules it IN rather. It means that you have done a successful enough Plan A to recapture his attention, but not quite enough to pull him off that fence. This would be the opportune time to implement Plan B.

And frankly, he is a man who is having his cake and eating it too. And why wouldn't he? What man in his right mind wouldn't LOVE to have TWO women, like a harem. So, he has no motivation whatsoever to end his affair. Essentially, your actions are just enabling his committment to keeping a harem.

Lostva's situation is entirely irrelevent to yours because she never had an opportunity to do a solid Plan A until the very end. It is entirely different from yours and I seriously doubt that Dr Harley would advocate staying in Plan A in your situation. Dr Harley says that when the WS can't make a decision between the 2 that it is time to go into Plan B and yank him off the fence.

Remember, Dr H is the PRO here. Lostva's story is not a testament to what happens when Plan B is avoided, but rather a testament to a Plan A when the situation called for it.

Please don't use her as an excuse to avoid practicing the program in the way it was intended.

Nor is there such a thing as a "Plan B personality." There is a personality who will do what it takes to save their marriage and there is a personality who will make any excuse to avoid the hard stuff, and they usually end up with what they put into it: NOTHING.

"As for the affair being rubbed in my face... quite frankly, it is not. He does everything he can to shield me from it, and we don't discuss it. "


1. How long do you think you can maintain this status quo of pretending everything is OK?

2. How will your husband get a sense of the damage he is doing to your heart / mind / spirit .... without a discussion?

3. Do you believe it is in your husband's best interests for you to remain so passive when he is commiting serious sin?

4. How can 2 people remain intimate when they do NOT discuss anything as important as marital infidelity?

5. What cannot be spoken cannot be repaired. Do you agree?

Pep

Melody -

I take offense to your post.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> There is a personality who will do what it takes to save their marriage and there is a personality who will make any excuse to avoid the hard stuff, and they usually end up with what they put into it: NOTHING.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think I have done EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN to make my marriage work. I am not not going to plan B because it is too hard. I think many on this board will agree that plan A is much harder than plan B. I am not making excuses. AND, I have been counselling with SH, and he supports my decision to continue plan A. He, too, sees the progress that it is making - and the slow changes WH is making.

While I appreciate your efforts in helping me save my marriage, PLEASE don't say I am lazy or avoiding. It simply isn't true by ANY stretch of the imagination.

Pep -

1. How long do you think you can maintain this status quo of pretending everything is OK? With a few exceptions, I have been maintaining a solid plan A effort since he moved out in January. As long as I feel like I'm doing something positive, and I see positive change in him, I can continue. When I cannot, I will definitely discuss plan B with SH.

2. How will your husband get a sense of the damage he is doing to your heart / mind / spirit .... without a discussion? Although we do not discuss our feelings regarding the affair RIGHT NOW, we have in the past. We also exchange emails in which our feelings are detailed. More so me than him, but he gets the idea - trust me.

3. Do you believe it is in your husband's best interests for you to remain so passive when he is commiting serious sin? He is not passive. I know he knows what he is doing is painful not only for me, but him and the kids as well. He has come back once before because it was "morally and ethically right", and as SH told me, if it compelled him so much that he returned home, it is not a fleeting thought.

4. How can 2 people remain intimate when they do NOT discuss anything as important as marital infidelity? As I said, we DO discuss it - just not in everyday conversation. I don't want every time he comes over to be some painful conversation about the state of our marriage, or his immoral ways. If I do this, what's going to motivate him to come here at all? Especially when things are so tense btw. him and OW?

5. What cannot be spoken cannot be repaired. Do you agree? Definitely. However, it is my understanding that recovery cannot begin until NC with OW is underway. As I said before, I want to give him the best possible reasons in the world to return to us, and THEN we can begin on recovery. That's what SH is for. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

- WHB

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Wanting Him Back:
I think I have done EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN to make my marriage work. I am not not going to plan B because it is too hard. I think many on this board will agree that plan A is much harder than plan B. I am not making excuses. AND, I have been counselling with SH, and he supports my decision to continue plan A. He, too, sees the progress that it is making - and the slow changes WH is making.

While I appreciate your efforts in helping me save my marriage, PLEASE don't say I am lazy or avoiding. It simply isn't true by ANY stretch of the imagination.

[/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">WHB, sorry I hit a nerve here, but I am just going by what YOU said. You stated that you were not in Plan B, NOT because the situation does or doesn't call for it, but because *you* are "just not ready."

So forgive me for thinking from your comments that this is a decision based entirely on your feelings rather than a strategic one based on the situation. Because frankly, from the situation you described, it is one that is RIPE for Plan B.

Perhaps you could clarify exactly WHY your situation does not call for Plan B when this is almost always the point where SH DOES recommend it. What is different about your situation?

I will agree that according to the 'textbook', my situation calls for plan B. And going to plan B HAS been discussed in sessions with SH. HOWEVER, as long as progress is being made in my current plan - AND I am able to maintain my energy level, he agrees that there's no use going to plan B when I don't 'feel' it.

As for what is 'different' about my situation? My love bank still has plenty of units left in it, I am able (for the most part) to control my LB, and little by little, I'm chipping away at WH 'happy' facade. When I said I was "just not ready" to go to Plan B, it is specifically because of the reasons above.

And I guess SH is taking my WH's personality into account. WH is completely turned off by ultimatums (which SH agrees WH will see Plan B as), and reacts very negatively.

I don't know how else to defend my plan. I am a pleaser by nature, and a class A conflict avoider. Plan A suits me to a T right now. And, no, I do not take lostva's story as my blue print. Her situation is completely different from mine, and I don't really see any other parallels other than the personality comment I made earlier. I do, however, love a good success story. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

If/when the time comes that those three reasons above no longer hold any water, it will be Plan B'in I will go.

I do value your input, even if it causes me to get a little red in the face <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> .... because it makes me think.

So thanks.

- WHB

<small>[ May 09, 2004, 06:47 PM: Message edited by: Wanting Him Back ]</small>

I remember Lori from way back... when Dylan and I first joined MB. Reading it just now brought tears to my eyes, because while I had knews they got back together, I didn't know the story.

Anyway my point is I think Lori's story should be a blueprint for just about anyone because she showed incredible determination and remained steadfast thoughout some pretty horrible stuff. Her love kept her true and she never really lost sight of who her husband was inside.

Btw, PT stands for 'Pop Tart' because that was all the OW knew how to cook... (forgot about that one, lol)

dewt

<small>[ May 09, 2004, 08:18 PM: Message edited by: dewt ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Anyway my point is I think Lori's story should be a blueprint for just about anyone because she showed incredible determination and remained steadfast thoughout some pretty horrible stuff. Her love kept her true and she never really lost sight of who her husband was inside. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Nail?
Head?
Consider it hit.

I know his potential.

AND I know that I was not the perfect wife. I understand and believe in the concept that had I been paying more attention to his needs, he never would have gone outside of our marriage to begin with. It's a tough pill to swallow, but I have - and learned from it.

Thanks for making me re-read it, dewt. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

No problem. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Ya shoulda seen the size of the pill I have to swallow. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Hang in there.

dewt

Alright, I should hear from here sometime in the next couple of hours...

Wish me luck!

- WHB

WELL!???????????????????????


ark

I fear the worst...

What happened?

Let me guess...they fell back in romantic love...the fantasy is again in full swing.

Hey, people usually get along on vacation...no bills...till after.

Well, I wish I could say that SHMI was wrong, but I cannot. WH won't say, but it's obvious to me that they're back on 'solid' ground.

He was a bit distant to me upon his return on Monday (on the phone), but our interaction was great last night (in person). Then, this morning, he came to take some furniture from the house for his apt. I got a little teary then. After I got myself together, everything was much better.

Reality should be rearing its ugly head again here pretty soon for the two of them. As believer says, I'll "just sit back and watch".

It just sucks all the way around, no question.

- WHB