Yesterday was mother's day, and W really struggled with guilt. Let me back up. Friday, Saturday and Sunday I played in my club's golf championship, I signed up to play before I realized that it fell on mom's day, but W knew it was important to me and told me to play, and I really appreciated it. Anyway, I had to leave early Sunday morning to get to the course to warm up, so I slept on the couch because my alarm clock wakes up the kids (and once they are up, they're up!). A couple of weeks ago I bought my W a necklace that she saw are REALLY wanted, she asked if she could get it for mother's day. It was a now or never deal, so we bought it. Anyway, before I left Sunday morning, I left out her mother's day card on the kitchen table where she would see it. I said the usual have a great day, but I also added this line "I know that it hasn't always been easy, and even after everything we have been through, there is no one I would choose to spend my days with". I didn't write this to make her feel guilty, but to reassure her of my feelings.

That morning, she calls me at the course to thank me for the card, and says she doesn't deserve it after everything she has done. I told her to stop apoligizing (she has done that alot lately) and focus on our future. She then tells me about the card my oldest made on her own (she's 8). On the outside it said "To the greatest person I know" and on the inside it said "YOU!" with a picture of a mom and a daughter. Now W is crying on the phone, really feeling guilty. I settled her down, told her it was true, and again to focus on the future.

Seems the fog is lifting, W is on Welburtin AD. Is this a natural progression? Kinda like stages of greiving? I am trying not to do anything to make her feel guilty, but sometimes it is unaviodable. Seems pretty postitve, right? Anything that I am missing?

Just briefly, BM - I think this is normal, and YES, its a good sign - it means her conscience has come back, and she has stopped justifying her actions.

I think you handled things very well for Mother's Day - I think she loves you, too - otherwise she wouldn't have let you go do something you wanted to do without making you feel guilty, and she called you to talk to you about this. She is starting to trust you with her feelings again. This is a good sign.

All the best.
LIR

sounds like it was good to me and keep up the good work. i don't really feel equipped to answer your questions but others will reply. the forums are somewhat slow on the weekends. continued strength and prayers to you.