It seems like every three or four days I find it so hard not to contact my H. I talk to friends but I still want to talk to H. I know it will do me no good. I am going to stay strong. He left a note that said if I wanted to talk to please call. That makes it even more hard. My 11 days feel like 50. Anyone else feel this way in plan B? I know I won't contact him but just going crazy. Some days are easier than others.

the note should read...

I have an alien inside of me who keeps me from understanding the concept that while you love me...and want me...you don't want your husband to be dating another woman...
but this alien keeps squashing that thought every time I start to grasp it....
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />


Gather strength...your plan b is working very very well..

and it's not a manipulation...it is the exact opposite....it is letting go of trying to change or control anyone but yourself.....

it is a sign of great inner strength and respect...

YOU DURHAM in this life...deserve to choose not to have a partner that wants a wife and girlfriend...

anything else is settling for way way less than you and your baby deserve....

grow in plan b...focus on you...and what you will and will not tolerate in your life....

he with his girlfriend are entitled to all the chaos they crave...just not in your universe...and definately not in your childs...

be strong...
keep the faith...
STAY DARK DARK DARK

and know that glowing healthy pregnant woman are beeaaaauuuuutiful creatures...

irristable....
to everyone...

dark dark dark...so that you can be in the warmth of sun...and not be touched by his dark confusion and pain...

ARK

A

Thank you for those great words. I feel much stronger as a person since I began plan B. I really amaze myself everyday.

"He left a note that said if I wanted to talk to please call. "

Translation varient:

If you want to call me, I'd sure appreciate it.... I am feeling guilty for leaving my pregnant wife to have an affair.... A call from you would put a temporary muzzle on my shame.

Yet another translation varient:

"I'm beginning to worry that you're serious about keeping me out of your and my baby's life. Oh $hit, what am I doing? Not to worry, you'll come begging to me soon enough because you can't do this without me."

I love the translations. He told my IC that he thought I would be in pieces and he would have to pick them up. When I told my IC that I haven't talked to him since she stated that he would not be expecting that. Good!!

My H IL just emailed me and stated the following:

He told me Saturday that he was not rushing to get a divorce.I really think he is trying to sort thingsout but not rush into anything without thinking of all the implications.
Hang in there!

My IL are very supportive and will not let WH move in with them while he sees OW.
Any translations for what she stated? What does that mean he is still confused? Before he left he talked about D and moving in with OW.

Are you saying this email was from your MIL?

I am not sure what you mean...

Pep

Durham
My WH had an affair while I was pregnant. H was afraid of all the responsibilites and couldn't face the reality of a baby. I didn't find out until after the baby was born, but I know that he wasn't there for the pregnancy. Just enjoy that beautiful baby growing in you. I'm sorry that you have to do it alone. It is his lost. My H is still having an EA and can't decide if he wants a family life or OW. But as much as it hurts, I have come to see that if he choses OW it is his lost. My baby is the most wonderful thing. She has given me strength thru it all. WH will miss out on seeing her first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. Take care of yourself and enjoy each moment of that pregnancy . I pray for you.

Yes, my MIL.

durham, you are doing just great. When you feel this is hard, just think how hard divorce is! I think you are driving him crazy with your NC. I think he is very concerned about you and this is bound to cause huge conflict in his relationship with the OW, causing jealously, etc. Pretty soon she will be lovebusting him and putting pressure on him, making you look all that more attractive!

<small>[ May 10, 2004, 08:03 PM: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</small>

I just received this email from my WH. He doesn't care about NC. It drives me crazy. I guess he thinks we are best friends now. 12 days of NC and counting!!

Good morning,
I hope everything is going all right. I am going to stop by the house tomorrow after work to pay any bills. Please leave the check book if you can. I will also take care of any yard work I can depending upon the weather.


Make it a great day!

Durham - Yes he does care about NC. Keep it up. It is the one thing that works. Leave the checkbook, and go somewhere. Be sure that house looks warm and inviting.

Put some flowers out, and a note to yourself, like "Ballet, 5/15, 7:00PM."

Good morning,
I hope everything is going all right. I am going to stop by the house tomorrow after work to pay any bills. Please leave the check book if you can. I will also take care of any yard work I can depending upon the weather.


Make it a great day!

Why is he coming over? To pay bills??? Couldn't you use the checkbook to pay the bills yourself? Is he paying bills that do not come to the house?

Why doesn't he just leave the bills that need paying on the porch, and you can write the checks?

He wants to eyeball you! Check you out.

"Make it a great day".... LOL! Is he stupid? You're pregnant about to pop and he's screwing around with OW !

So dense this man's fog ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> ... I can see him skipping toward your house... saying:

"la-la-la-la ...I'm going to mow her lawn so she won't think badly of me bacause I abandoned her for OW while she carries our child. Mowing the lawn will make this all better, will make her day GREAT. la-la-la"

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Lock up the house....
Lock away the mower...
Go to your support team for the day...

and, oh yeah.....

leave a note:

"Put outstanding bills to be paid in this envelope. I have the checkbook with me."

Participate in NOTHING that will ease his guilt. Allow him to feel his shame.

Pep

Of course he can't come over tomorrow because my friend is painting the nursery. I emailed him back and stated: No. That is not a good time for me.
All of his friends think he is having a mid life crisis. Does an affair resemble this? Only problem is he is only 28. Haa

Following up on Pep's good advice (BTW, I like believer's idea about ballet, but he won't be coming in, OK?)

What's the "bills" arrangement?

Are these routine family related bills? They come to your address, right?

By all means, YOU pay them. All you need him for is to keep $$ flowing into the account.

Mid life crisis?

No

More likely rectal cranial inversion.

WAT