Well it seems that things can change??

Today 2 good things happened.

H is traveling to Brasil. He told me today, and he thought I was going to LB big time as always with him and his trips... Well it was different in many ways.

We did a POJA on his trips. Before he could have spent like 2 or 3 out of the 4 weeks the month got traveling. No matter weekends or anything... Humm hard to build up a M on that. Anyway, we agreed, that there was going to be only one trip at month, in work days (not weekends), and he was going to tell me on those days, not the weekend before to mess it up.

I also have told him I wanted to have breakfast together (we can do that) and have lunch at least once a week. He told me over lunch today (about his trip).
So how could he thought I would LB if we agreed on those terms? I mean I was getting what I asked for <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> and he even knew since thursday but he kept to himself (H was amazed at the way I reacted to that, wich was very receptive on it). We had a great weekend and we had a ride on the bike on saturday, so we are enjoying another kind of activities together. He also made sure to have a good relaxing Sunday.

The other good thing it happened, is that I gave him an excel table with all the expenses of the month, and that we should try to stick to it to be able to pay it all. In the table, since we got some extra expenses this month, I explained that we should only go to the counseling 3 times a month, not 4 times. And he fought that??? LOL!

He told me we must cut back on something else, not that, that as much as we go there, the fastest we will recover! Well this was a first to me too. I mean before I was presuring him to go, and now he is the one who wants to keep going? I think it's great and I have to figure out a way to cut some expenses or I can even pay for the 4rth appointment.

Well I can tell you, that since I'm always being very aware of the anti-recovery or sabotaging techniques I see sometimes, this 2 showed a big step to me! And it made me happy.

Also, well I started today HNHN book, I had it from before, but gave to H, and he has not read it, but I'm enjoying the book a lot!.

This is my update, keep praying for us.

<small>[ May 10, 2004, 04:06 PM: Message edited by: matilde ]</small>

sounds like you are paddling down stream together....

sounds wonderful!!!

ARK

What a happy update! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Thanks for sharing! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Karen

Ark^^

Yes! finally I'm seeing some stuff that indicates we are paddling together <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .

I had a mayor setback yesterday, cause H has not called on monday or yesterday until night, and havent gave his info on where he was staying. He called twice, first call I told him I missed him and was not having a good time about it... it was sort of a LB call.... After a while he called back, and we got better more lovely convo, also he gave the information on were he was calling from, the hotel number and room number WITHOUT ME ASKING! wohooo, I waited some more and called him back <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> . So I'm better.

Topie25

Yes a happy update in that <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> . Your welcome.
This two weeks have been a rollercoaster for me, not because the things he is doing but because the things he is not, and also some problems with main boss at work got me down. But I'm feeling better already, and trying to concentrate on what I have, not what I don't have, and it's not helping I'm reading HNHN now LOL!, But like many people said here baby steps huh?

Take care

congrats mattie! sounds good.

were you kidding on my other thread---or do you really not get it? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

my aol acct is haywire right now so im posting through another acct. i miss the IM"S from you and sprezz. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> hopefully i can fix it before sunday---we leave for vacation then. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

chat with ya soon.

nikko I was not kidding, care to explain?

my AOL is matilde19022003

i'll try to explain clearer----

another term for an affair is an extra-marital sexual relationship.

so when asked, my hubby thought i should have way more extra-marital sexual relations.

he thought it meant he was gonna get more sex.

EXTRA=MORE
MARITAL=US
SEXUAL=SEX
RELATIONS!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

good god---you'd think the poor guy never got any!(which by the way, isnt true <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> )

i hope this makes sense now. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

aol is up again---i'll im you soon!

Matilde,

What a fabulous update! POJA about the trips (and him sticking to it), him not wanting to cut counseling - wow!

You were entitled to let him know you were upset when you couldn't reach him. I'd even say you were obligated to tell him (Radical Honesty). It's only a LB if you acted angry or judgmental. It's perfectly acceptable if you let him know how you felt.

Thanks for the smile today, this does sound positive <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

I have posted an answer on this and got lost in cyberland UGH hate it...

Hey nikko

Yes I got it thanks...
hmmm well it's good he see you as a source for that need, on the other hand it's weird he consider you too for an extramarital relationship... well maybe he is telling you he wants to got an A with you? LOL that in one of them that I can see flourish with the blessing of MB hehehe <- joking do not pay attention about my sh&tty ideas.

I told you what I thought about it, thanks for explaining it anyhow.

turtlehead, thank you for your words, yes it seems we are walking the same path now or as Ark^^ would say paddling down stream together....
even though there are times I would want to wack him with the oar or maybe I can receive still one of those [not to hard yet plz].. .

As for update, H is comming home tonight from Brasil, he just called a while ago telling me he is kind of stuck in Lima and the plane got a delay of 2 hours, so he will be arriving about 1 am here LATE!. BUT!! He did called to inform me and for me not to worry about it. Again this is huge, cause he never called before and like never cared, and I like it, is not like I'm keeping tabs on him or something, by now I think he proved his point [if there was one] on being free and all, I just really appreciate the gesture on him calling, this is ALSO a first! And it makes me happy he is taking the time and caring for it. WOW with this 3 things I'm having a hard time thinking THIS is my H!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />