For those of you following my thread, after walking out for 6th time on 4/21 he has finally asked for divorce.

Exact words were " Go for Divorce" Im Done, and then "File papers for Divorce" "It's time to move on".....

SO much for Plan B...... he has moved south SC and decided he wants OW who left family and 3 kids behind for him......

Says he's happy and is 110% sure this is what he wants..... Hope he knows what he is doing. Said the last time he was home he knew he didn't want us anymore wants the OW more...

I have filed papers, waiting for return and will go with divorce as he requested.... I do believe however he is moving quickly since just last week he wouldn't commit to wanting a divorce, now all of a sudden he says the quicker the better.....

Any suggestions? I am lost, guess I just let go and move forward with my new life.

My boys are heart broken, they can't believe their father is cutting the ties and actually leaving for good and doesn't want to be a family anymore...

I am trying to be strong, I asked him if he's sure and he said YES!

Do I just cut him off now and not talk at all, what do I do, how do I handle this situation now.....

I need help, I need suggestions quickly.....

Angel

BS (me) 44
H 47
D-day 4/21
boys 16 and 18
first d-day 3/03 been in and out 5 times since.

Sounds like you don't want the DV. So if he want's DV let him file the papers sounds like the cowards way out to me having you file for DV. Of course there is the other side to this, if you file he can make you look like the bad person by telling people "I wanted to work on our M but she filed for DV." JMHO

First of all, breathe.

Seriously. Breathe, calm down. I don't know what time it is there, but really there's no rush on this. You've seen how many times he's come and gone in the last year...

I don't know enough about your story to say file or don't file, but I do know that decisions made in the heat of the moment don't always reflect the long term good.

Breathe.

Don't blow off Plan A. No matter what, keep your cool. No selfish demands, no disrespectful judgements, no angry outbursts.

dewt

No, I didn't really want divorce, but what else can I do? He's been in/out of this house 5 times now each time staying a week and leaving, moving back into the townhouse he rented for her and him.

I would have rather had my marriage and husband back BUT i can see he's not coming home and has indicated "IT's time to move one" I can't sit here and wait forever..... especially since he's not paying the bills or helping.....

He ran to another state right away, we have no way of contacting him other then cell phone which he never answers...

He has indicated he wants out and is 110 percent sure, what else can I do., I;ve asked many times are you sure and each time he say without hestitation YES.....

I can't continue to hurt and feel the pain, I can't continue to put my guys through this pain, and I can't continue to play the game and be used like this, no women deserves to be treated like I am..

Just today, he talked to me horribly, like a dog on the street, no respect, told me I was worthless and stupid and didn't have a CLUE....How can I actually love anyone like that/

COnfused completely now.

Angel, I wouldn't file for divorce. Let him do it if he wants a divorce. As you have seen, his feelings about divorce will change from week to week. His passion for the OW isn't permanent, divorce is.

I would recommend taking whatever steps you must take to protect yourself financially, ie: separation, etc, but I wouldn't file for divorce.

Just stick to your Plan A and don't chase him or commit any lovebusters. I suspect he will be back.

Then don't get a DV, like I said let him file. When a WS treats you like dirt it's just their way to to make you mad and then you yell at your WS. So that way they have justification by you yelling or saying hurtful things back so your WS don't feel so bad about the A. So when you talk to your H be nice, if he says something hurtful the answer should be "I'm sorry you feel that way". Don't talk about your M or your relationship don't say I love you. Do Plan A, if you have done a steller Plan A then go to Plan B no contact unless your H is going to work on your M. I wish you luck, this situation stinks trust me I know almost 3 months of my W being gone.

H has told me twice now to file for divorce, his comment is "I done- its time to move on" and "out with the old and in with the new".... those comments truely hurt me.

I don't know that I could actually take him back into my life at this point... two many lies, I find out more and more each day... he hasn't told the truth about ANYTHING in 6 months.

He is currently living out of state, moved right after leaving us.... he ran....so he couldn;t come back anymore, so he wouldn't feel the need to return..

Well, now I don;t think I want him., so much hurt to much pain to recover from. I want a person who is honest, sincere, loving and kind. I would always fear the trust in the relationship would be difficult .... not sure that's the kind of life I would want.

The thought of him living with OW is killing me inside..

He has hurt our boys horribly, the pain is unbearable and see their pain each day...

I am now the one who is done, I must move forward with my life without him and focus on ME...

I honestly don;t think he'll ever come back, he seems very happy with OW and what they have done to two families and all these kids. I wonder how a mother walks out on 3 children for OM thinking he has LOTS of money,, when the money runs dry I hope she leaves him,.... HIGH AND DRY.

I am becoming very bitter, very sad and angry.
To put my through this pain and hurt and emotional struggles each day after a 22 year marriage is horrible.

A divorce for us is basicially : finanancial sucide...he is losing so much for affair with OW.
Don't think he cares, all he wants is OW....

No hope I don;t believe

Dont Give in, reach deep within and find strength be it in God or were ever. Dont dispare, Im a HOS and I said all those things to. I had commited all to the OW, and when hard times hit I could only think of how diferently it would of been if I had only stayed with my W. Let him file, you hav'nt done anything wrong, just play his game. You still have time, I know of the toll it takes on the boys I to have 2 (14,10). When I was away I missed them terribly. What brought me home was God's Will. Another reason was my W always left the door open just incase I came back, thats exactly what I did.

God Bless,

FCalunga

HOS(37) me
WS(38)
M17
DD 12/7/03
NC 3/26/04
In Recovery

If he wants the divorce so bad -- he can file and pay for it. You can "move on," whatever that means, but there's no reason you should be his enabler.