It seems to me this exclusive club is getting larger. I am currently 34 weeks knocked up.

On my worst days I feel that my marriage was hijacked and so was my body. On my best days I think of how I'm never alone. How are you guys doing?

Here are my stats:
BW: 29
WH: 28
daugther: 18 months
Discovered I was pregnant: 11/2/03
A started: 11/03
Dday 1: 2/13/04
A resumes 4/1 - 4/9
dday 2: 4/9
NC begins: 4/10
ow breaks up with WH on vioce mail 4/12
my due date: 6/25

Hi Loy

I am 3 months pregnant. My husband is still with me but is in contact with the OW. She lives 10 hours away so they have not seen each other since Dec. I feel so stressed and alone. I want him to be there for our child but not if he is going to continue his emotional affair with OW. Do you know what you are having? I have a 3 year old son so hopefully this time it will be a girl.

Let's see, Durham comes to mind. Also coolduck was pregnant at time of A, but I think has since delivered.

I am with you guys. I am 26 weeks and am having a boy. I am in plan B and getting stronger. I don't want a cakeater. He either has OW or me not both. He is missing out on everything that has to do with the baby. His loss.

Who is/ was a Pregnant BW?

Not me!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

WAT

boys are very special! I have three of them <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

oh wait, I wasn't a BW at the time though <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I got pregnant 3 months after D-day while Plan A'ing. It was incredibly difficult to take care of the kids, be pregnant and have a WH to boot.

All of you who are carrying..please take great care of yourself and that precious bundle inside.

Sadly, I miscarried in the beginning of August.

God Bless


Lisa

I'm part of the club too. My WH started the PA while I was at least 6-7 months pregnant. EA is continuing. I think the whole thing is pretty sick to have a guy have an A when you need them the most. And what does it say about the OW??? But at least we walk away with a beautiful baby. My daughter is 14 months old and is the light of my life.Good Luck

Coolduck,

Please share more of your story. What plan were you in during pregnancy? Was you WH there during delivery and appointments? I am in plan B and I think I will be doing everything on my own as long as he is with OW. I know it is going to be very hard because I never thought I would do this alone.

I'm part of this club -- but I didn't know it at the time.

Husband's latest affair happened last summer; I was 6-7 months pregnant at the time. But of course, I didn't know anything then. FWH confessed when our son was 10 days old.

My heart is with those of you trying to cope with the pregnancy AND Plan A/B. It was hard enough dealing with the fall-out with a remorseful spouse and a newborn.

Please let me know if there's anything any of us can do to help you. If nothing else, prayers are coming your way from me -- big time.

BH03

Brokenheart,

What do you think made your H stay and recommit. I have been in plan B for two weeks and my H has pretty much made up his mind that he wants the OW despite the fact that he can't wait to be a dad. He states he doesn't love me and will be a good dad.
What do you think will happen once the baby comes? It is painful to do everything on my own especially delivery and classes. I have friends and family that will help but not the same. This is our first child. I want to fast forward to my delivery.

Ladies -
Not you WAT. Hang in there. For some reason, the wife being pregnant many times results in the H having an affair. I don't know why, just the statistics.

It is kind of like people who lose a child. After that, there is a 85% chance of an A and divorce. It's pretty sad. During the time H and W need each other the most, things are likely to go bad.

That being said, I hope that you will all put the betrayal aside and enjoy this time. These are the golden years.

BOTH times my H had affairs I was pregnant. I was five months into my second pregnancy when the OW called me (the first affair.) I was living apart from my husband during my last pregnancy (we were forced to take an overseas assignment and I was high risk...so had to stay in the States until after the baby was born) when the second affair occurred.

Loy....I was just thinking about you today...I'm so glad you checked in. How are you doing?

<small>[ May 11, 2004, 09:20 PM: Message edited by: star*fish ]</small>

Durham:

My heart aches for you, sweetie. You sound very strong in many of your posts -- but it's simply wrong that you are having to do this alone.

That said -- FWH's affair last summer had little to do with our son. We already had a daughter, who was 2 at the time, and he ADORES her. In fact, she may have played a part in his ending the relationship. The whole time, he was just TORN. One weekend, while I was with my family and he was in Los Angeles (supposedly on work; really with the OW), he actually left OW to fly and be with me and DD at the last minute -- because my parents were having a birthday part for DD.

Plus, I know the OW's statement that, "Your DD won't suffer if you leave your wife, you know. In fact, she'll only gain another mother," almost made him vomit. It was such a blatant lie that it cut through the fog in a painful way.

Having said all that -- what made my FWH recommit? God. It's as simple as that. As I said, he was torn. I don't know if he really even ENJOYED this affair. He was eaten up by guilt and fear. But he still wasn't able to get out. (He now likens it to those times when you're in a deep sleep and you keep trying and trying to wake up -- but you just can't.)

So what happened to shake him? He was having sex with OW one morning and the blinders fell off his eyes. He says he had a happy thought -- and that happy thought was me. "What am I doing here?!?" he asked himself. "I love BH03!!"

(Side note: Those thoughts were less than amorous, which almost put him in a ... well, awkward situation. Lucky for him OW had an orgasm just then and he was able to fake it and run for the shower before she noticed what was happening. First time in history that a man faked it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> )

From what I've read in your other posts, I think your WH is starting to cave. I don't buy the idea that he wants OW. He just wants that feeling (as Pep has said). So hang in there. Don't give up.

If he's still waffling when the baby is born, definitely have your closest friends and family members at the hospital for your delivery. It's a stressful, wonderful time. Have someone take lots of pictures. Try, try to focus on this new little miracle. I'm sure it's hard when your heart is breaking, but truly, babies are such a gift. Take pleasure in just wrapping your whole self around such a sweet, soft, loving little bundle of joy.

I wish I lived near you. (Although, who knows? Maybe we're neighbors. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ) I would love to help you out in a physical way.

Prayers,

BH03

Brokenheart,
I truly could not do this without everyone on this board and my friends and family. I am focusing on the baby and doing the nursery. I don't want him back because of the baby I just don't know what he is going to do when he comes to visit our son in the hospital and then leaves. I don't think he can know that right now. He sent me a Mother to Be card that stated he knows I will be a wonderful mother. He is sorry for hurting me. He never planned for our lives to turn out this way. He hopes our friendship can endure this. He thinks about our son every second and can't wait to mee him.

I don't really know if he is waffling or has his mind made up for good. I just don't want to set myself up and have hope. I don't think I can keep hoping until August. I get stronger everyday and I think I want to move on. I know if I weren't pregnant I would get rid of him. I am only 27 and have a lot to offer. I know I could find someone else.

I just think keep thinking this is suppose to be the most wonderful time of my life but it's not. With my first son I was single but engaged to my current spouse. It was hard. I went to all my doc appointments alone and raised him while living with my mom for 8 months before we got married. My husband lived 2 hours away and only saw us on the weekend. I was always sad because I wanted my husband with me to share each moment with our son. Now it looks like it is happening again but this time he won't be marrying me in the end.

I just keep thinking if he does leave and hooks up with the OW how much it would hurt for her to be around my kids. I am not sure how alot of other woman stand it when their husbands pick up their kids for visitation knowing they are going to be around the woman that was part of the break up. It will be so hard for me.

Tomorrow is my second doc appointment I am excited about possibly hearing the babies heartbeat. Sometimes I don't feel pregnant at all and it scares me to think something might have happened to the baby. So I guess tomorrow is a little reassurance on my part.

Hey guys I am part of this club. I am 30 weeks pregnant due 7/18. I don't know if it is a boy or girl. I have one of each so it doesn't matter. I also had my big U/S the same week my WH moved out. I chose not to forever associate that event with finding out the sex.

My WH's affair began over 1 1/1 years ago when I was 38 weeks preg. My WH does not have any problem feeling attracted to me while I am preg so I don't think the issue stems from anything physical. I think he did fear getting pushed further down on my list of things to pay attention to and quite honestly he would have.

Plan A is hard especially now in my 3rd trimester. I am tired all the time. Tonight I screwed up and WH and I had a conversation that was filled with LB's. I discovered another lie and confronted him and everything went downhill from there. I know I could handle everything better if I had more energy.

On a positive note I know I can handle raising my kids even if it is as a single Mom. I have lots of family living nearby that is more than willing to help.

Jenn,

Will your husband help during delivery. Did you take any classes together. I am due August 20th. I don't want to do this on my mind but don't have a choice if he is with OW. I have been in plan B for two weeks.

Yesterday I had a nice anxiety attack and just crumbled. I have a nice new post on that.

This pregnancy is going very quickly. My troubled marraige (I knew something was wrong but didn't know what for months) and then the A has kept me so occupied it seems odd to think I'll be meeting my second child in a month.

I think your self esteem takes a huge hit when your PG and a BW. Plus, it doesn't help that my ow weighs 95 lbs and has been a primary actress in a movie. I know this is shallow, but man, right now my tits are 5 times the size of hers (so is my [censored], but hey, I'll get my booty back but she'll never have tits).

I am trying to accept compliments people give me right now as being true, but sometimes I find them so patronizing. You're so beautiful, your so small for 34 weeks, pregnancy is so magical. I really resented the pregnancy for a while, but now the child is comforting and brings me hope for the future.

I'm torn bewteen wanting the baby to arrive early (so I can get my body back - this is selfish) and wanting the baby to arrive late so WH and I can take advantage of everyday before baby is born to build a better foundation of our new marriage.