Lately my tears have become angry ones.

I keep asking myself, "How could he hurt me so bad?"

When he told me about the A, he said he wanted to protect me from the pain but three months later he left me.

He said everytime he looks at me he saw the pain he caused.

I guess I'm angry because of him not working out our problems, it was easier for him to leave.

I didn't know about this website until he has been gone a month.

I only seen him once since he left in March, and that when I ran into him with the OW shopping.

But how could he just leave after 14 years of marriage. After 14 years of him telling me how much he loves and needs me. He made me promise several times that I would never leave him. I should have made him do the same.

I never doubted his love and devotion to me. I know losing his job and having me be the main bread winner, must have been a blow to his male ego. I work two full time jobs, so my time is limited, he felt neglected.

The married OW was trying to get him for years. She told him he'll be doing me a favor by having an A with her, it would take the burden off of me. Do you believe that line? He did.

I guess I couldn't imagine hurting him this much. I was just wondering if he even thinks about how much I'm hurting at home, when he is out with the OW. It feels like I never been my happy self again.

I'm trying improve myself, its the only I can change but the hurt won't go away.

((( hugs )))

I know how you feel. We are in a very similar situation. I am having pain now, i feel your too. Hugs.

I keep asking myself, "How could he hurt me so bad?"

When he told me about the A, he said he wanted to protect me from the pain but three months later he left me.

He said everytime he looks at me he saw the pain he caused.
Gotta remember, he didn't have an affair to hurt you. He wasn't even thinking about you as he was doing it.
He did it because it made him feel good.

I know the A was a selfish act, but he must have known how much this was going to hurt me or he wouldn't feel the need to protect me.

He told the OW he wasn't going to leave me unless I found out.

Being the malipulator she is, she left clues for her H to find about the affair, so when he found out, my H was forced to tell me the truth.

I wish I knew about Plan A before he left. I thought talking and be honest about the affair in calm manner was showing I was willing to work things out and that I'm okay.

I know he is probably in pain also, but I'm hurting so much, he is my life, my only family. He was perfect in my eyes, minus some of his faults.

I know working two jobs, didn't help, but I wasn't doing it to be away from him, I was doing it for us to survive.

He doesn't take responsibility any more. Does not want to get a real job or work on our marriage?

I guess that saying is true, you always hurt the ones you love. If we didn't love or care, it wouldn't hurt.

I guess I have to patient. Time heals all wounds, but it also may lift the fog he is under. For our marriage I hope so. I do love him so, even though he has put me through all this pain.

I am the WS, I will tell you right now during my A. I didn't ever think of my H. For the first time every it was all about me. I had told him, I didn't do this to you, I did this for me. I wasn't being cold or mean, just honest. I was very neglected, and turned to OM. My regrets are deep, and seeing your pain, hurts me, because I know I made the same mistake your husband did. I'm sorry for you. I'm very much out of the fog, and doing everything in my power to recover my M. Improve yourself for yourself. Hugs!!!

I am going through the exact situation you are currently..... I was married 22 years and found out about A on 12/4. .

My H told me the same thing, "everytime he looked at me he saw the pain" they are excuses....

My H finally left for good on 4/21 after coming in and out of the house 5 times. He moved out on 3/3 first time, just came home and found him gone, rented Townhouse with OW.

Currently he is living with OW out of state and has asked for divorce, which I have proceed to deal with and file papers. I can not live with the pain and emotions, he also was our only family we were each others family.

My H walked out not only on me but his two teenage soons, which he refuses to see, he says HE only walked out on me not the boys.

The pain is unbearable at times, I feel for you and understand so well what you are saying... I wonder how I will be strong enough to survive and move forward with my life and keep my boys strong along side of me.

Hang in there, I truely believe "what goes around comes around" one day the fog will lift from their lives, they will regret what they have done and maybe at that point and time, WE you and I will be strong enough to say "Go Away" this time I am done.

My H's comment was "It's time to move on" and "Out with the old and on with the new" nice of him wasn't it.. talk about being selfish.

I feel both of them my H and OW will suffer, she walked out on 3 children and husband, how can a mother do such a thing and live with herself especailly when moving out of state.

Be strong, be sincere to yourself, you and I have dignity, which comes first..... we are special- and we are honest.... remember THAT!

Don't let this take you down, show him you are better then he is, you are stronger then he is,
and move forward just as I am doing, a little at a time, slowly .....

Hang in there, keep posting.... This helps to talk and vent to those of us which are struggling with the same issues.

Thanks for the advice. I just got through talking to my husband for about an hour. It was just small talk.

He was here today, fixing a problem with my software, but didn't finish, he realize I would be coming home in ten minutes, so he split. So I had to call him back to finishing installing the program.

I think he is a coward, he doesn't want to face me, he doesn't mind speaking to me, but seeing me is another story.

Fourteen years together, and he can't look me in the eye.

I hope one day when he does see me , he will be eating his heart out.

They can't look us in the eye because of guilt!
THey know what they are doing and all the lies they are telling us, inside they hurt and feel our pain..... But, they are selfish and right now only care about themselves.

I understand, 22 years married and I communicate via e-mail with my H. He doesn't even have the common coutesy to call me directly and talk.

You hang in there, be strong and stand tall, we are better then they are remember that!