Interesting developments today at lawyers office...was ready to file for Legal Separation but WS contacted his lawyer and stated he realizes A is waining and wants more time to end A..he has stated this to me a few days ago...he stated he wants for A to be final with her and with both he and OW realizing it will be final and he wants to repair marriage... ..my lawyer stated whatever I am doing is working...I think the fog may be slowly lifting but who knows..she stated that she thinks he still loves me and possibly wants to return without withdrawl by getting her out of his system... she has handled Divorces for 29 years and has seen this happen time and time again with marriages even better than before ...she pointed to one file she was working on that was at the point of going to court that ended up in reconciliation and she told me that she has a good feeling about this but what am I to do?...I do not want to look like I am backing down at the tenth hour here...letting WS call the shots...my family is upset with me that I listened to her and let her convince me to wait until next week for a response from his lawyer..they feel he has had all the time in the world to break this A off. can anyone see his reasoning in this...any WS's see where he is coming from with his statement of wanting the A to run it's course and die?......so here is what lawyer suggested...give WS until the end of June to get rid of OW....draw up a marital agreement...this is not a Legal Separation...my lawyer has one herself and she is married ...much like a pre nup but post nup..then what's yours is yours and his is his...that way if he tries anything if we get back together he walks and I stil have financial security...also his lawyer writes a legal no contact letter to OW stating if she contacts him in any way in to court she goes...she is going to talk to his lawyer about this...then we will see if he is serious of just pulling my chain again...either way I am prepared...I guess this is one way to see if he is sincere if he will agree to sign...what do you all think about this?

big hug of strength to you {{{{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}} i think the general plan is a good one but i think the end of june is too far why not by the 1st of june? that's still almost 3 weeks away. but i'm no expert and don't have any experience and maybe the end of june is better. hopefully others who have more experience and are really familar w/your story will post and advise further. prayers to you.

my family is upset with me that I listened to her and let her convince me to wait until next week for a response from his lawyer..they feel he has had all the time in the world to break this A off.

I would listen politely to family's opinion, but ~ACT ON~ your attorneys advice.

Why?

Because your attorney is not emotionally involved, and your family is, because they love you.

Try not to share too much about the legal issues with your family right now. Just be nice with them.

Let this play out.

Trust your attorney, sounds like you got a winner!

Pep

Thanks guys for responding...as you know family means well and has seen the pain I have gone through...I suspect next week will be the turning point as I do not want to wait for the legal marital contract to be drawn up by the end of June...but does any of what WS is saying make sense to any Ws's out there?...I do know him better than anyone and I supect after four tries he really does need to have this woman out of his life permanently before he makes another stab at our marriage...to be fair to both of us...I think he has thought this out...does not want another failure at reconciliation...he is stubborn though ...I just don't know if the fog is lifting or if he is sincere in this...I am in Plan B and have had no contact with him since three days ago in regards to a property rental...he is a thinker and weighs everything heavily out in his mind...just don't know if he is being truthful here or if it is all about money... but on the other hand what difference does it make for him if I file today or next month .. the outcome will be the same... split the assets...hard to figure this one out...

<small>[ May 13, 2004, 04:22 PM: Message edited by: New Outlook ]</small>

He might be fishing... seeing if you have any feelings left... he may be hoping beyond hope you want him back, irregardless of all his prior stupid mistakes.

or, I could be wrong! LOL

Pep

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> He might be fishing... seeing if you have any feelings left... he may be hoping beyond hope you want him back, irregardless of all his prior stupid mistakes.

or, I could be wrong! LOL

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This man keeps things pretty close to his chest...he tells me he does not discuss me with OW and refuses to discuss her with me but again who knows...he has floored everyone with his actions since Day 1 so he is a hard man to figure out...the only reason I can think of for the delay might be because of his new business...he is using funds only from the income of the business and that is not much as he has not income coming in right now...he has no other money other than marital investments to work with down the road but in any event to get his money out would be a positive I would think...he probably would not have to worry about legal fees until things were over with anyway so again who knows...in regards to wanting him back ..he has known from day one I wanted to work things out but has refused to end A and that has been the obstacle all along...