The following notes are almost too explicit to post here! But I wanted to share what a HOLD these other woman have on our husbands.
It must be HARD to resist someone that feeds their ego like this lady did my H.

I will have to delete some of the words!
They were written in 2003
She has since gone, moved on, and married a single man...She is actually expecting a baby now and has nothing to do with my H anymore.
It was hard for him to give her up and you will see why by a couple of her e-mails to him!

(He doesn't even know I retrieved them through his secret password, I copied them and put them in a folder on my computer.)
There are more, this is just two of them!

Remember, I warned you that they were sexy!

Do you think your unfaithful mate was experiencing this same intensity with his or her OP?
Sincerely, Julie

****************************************
Hi Darling. (Referring to my H)
I've been thinking wearing a skirt is sure better than jeans when we are together since we can only meet in your car!

You like it when I wear no panties so you can reach your hands under my skirt and rub my clit with your fingers...Then I can get on top and spread my skirt over us and we are covered up and it's a secret that we are NAKED underneath. You hold my bottom, my butt cheeks, in your hands and guide my movements.
My hot little tight p**** is impaled on your big hard c*** and we are f***ing and f***ing and loving every second of it!

I know you love my full breasts hanging in your face so you can fill your mouth and suck and suck, nurse and nurse, on my big pink nipples.

And the passionate hot kisses are glorious!

We both LOVE it when we are together loving on one another; like we have made love for so many times this past year. True Ecstasy!
Your ******(her name) Honey
P.S. We are soulmate friends; kindred spirits!

**********************************************
Your passionate kisses are on my mind, OFTEN! (H's name here) Sweetheart, I KNOW you love to touch and gently squeeze my nipples until they are hard and erect and then latch on with your mouth and suck and suck...How I do YEARN for you to be nursing on my titties.(Like right now!) And you YEARN for me nursing on your p****; right Darlin?

<small>[ May 14, 2004, 10:07 AM: Message edited by: Blessed TIME ]</small>

Hi BT,
The book, Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch speaks to this issue. Says that we really need to learn how to f*** our spouses! Down and dirty, wet and nasty. It was a great book. - Dru

Hi Dru.
I have learned A LOT on how to please my husband through OW's e-mails!

We have even had car sex, with him standing outside the open car door and me on my hands and knees with my A** out the door! Actually it was fun and exciting! (I wanted to be creative and give him a memory that I don't THINK he had with her!)

I guess we just need to PRETEND that we are the OW; that we are in an affair, but with our H. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Thanks for your reply, Dru.
Julie (It still is hard to accept the passionate kisses between them ALMOST harder than accepting the sex!)

<small>[ May 14, 2004, 10:36 AM: Message edited by: Blessed TIME ]</small>

These are the fantasy's we need to have with our W. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> This is exactly what is done to the HOS(Me) its these kind of stuff that will lure a man away from their W <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> and head for an A. Yes it was done to me, and they are experts at providing the best "S" so beware al you W out their. If my wife could give me 1/2 of what the OW was providing we woud'nt have this on our LB list. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Sorry for being so frank but its my way of expresing feelings. I have to be honest about this to my W if I want our M to work. Yes I have shared some of this with my W, I think shes coming around.
Yessssssssss, best wishes to all the WS and keep your guard up all those BT's are out their and their not so easy to run from. Not to mention the G-Stroke revolution. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Regards,

FCalunga

HOS(37)
WS(38)
M17
DD 12/7/03
NC 3/26/04
In Recovery Room

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> That must have been a sight, BT! I'm still giggling <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Nope, not pretending to be an OW... Actually, I've joked with H that he should 'hurry and be quiet, my husband will be home soon'. I got pinched for that one <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I pretend to be a naughty speeder and H is the croocked traffic officer, who is willing to let me 'work off' my fine. Lost tourist and the friendly bus-boy. I got a list... fun is fun <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> . But, turn about is fair play... ask your H to wear a mask and a cape, sometime <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> (nothing else, of course...). Trust me, it's a hoot! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

You know what they want? They want someone, and I say preferable their W!, who WANTS to F them. Along with everything else, there is all kinds of sex, but Fing needs to be part of the repertoire. No pretending, real live Fing!

I cant believe we have received a TMI from a mod... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> HAVE FUN!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> - Dru

<small>[ May 14, 2004, 10:53 AM: Message edited by: Drucilla ]</small>

by fcalunga: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If my wife could give me 1/2 of what the OW was providing we woud'nt have this on our LB list.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This was kinda the point of the 'Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands' thread... My poor H was so neglected by his exW, that the littlest of things I would do for him he appreciated soooo much. He was amazed that someone would enjoy having sex, much less enthusiatically. I remember thinking... 'this should be a slam dunk <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> '. He was so happy for ANY attention. The boy didnt know what he was getting himself in for <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> .

You're saying if your W could do 1/2 you'd be happy.... that says something.

What does HOS stand for? Cant figure that out. - Dru

Dru, you sound very creative in your sex life!
FCalunga...thanks for sharing from a man's point of view.

What I have noticed, probably similar to the first 6 months of an affair, is I don't feel this hungry passion for H that I had when trying to score big points and win him back from the OW.
(I mean win his MIND back as she had 'dumped' him for a new man she was smitten with.)

I am sure my H still thinks of what she did with him (the sex love and affection she gave him) and what she is now doing with & giving to her OM that she ended up marrying!
I guess the OW will just be a 'pleasant' memory for H to think about when he is old and in his rocking chair. UGH!

Maybe what I am trying to say is H & I are probably back to taking for granted that each of us will always be here; maybe that is good!
We are more like two people that have been married for 35 years. (We have been!)

I don't think that the #10 type (top level) passion and excitement can last in a marriage or an affair.
(It gets too tiring!) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Our sex life is now at more of a 'normal' level.
(Whatever 'normal' is?)
I am rambling.
Sorry
Julie

<small>[ May 14, 2004, 01:28 PM: Message edited by: Blessed TIME ]</small>

Hi Julie,
RESIST NORMAL. FIGHT IT!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What I have noticed, probably similar to the first 6 months of an affair, is I don't feel this hungry passion for H that I had when trying to score big points and win him back from the OW.... Maybe what I am trying to say is H & I are probably back to taking for granted that each of us will always be here; maybe that is good!
We are more like two people that have been married for 35 years.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ack! Not good. Wasnt it that old routine that got you here with us today? Not entirely I'm sure, but gosh, I'd not want to go back!

It doesnt have to be fireworks all the time, but why settle for a dull routine sex life when you've seen how the alternative affects your H? (and you, from what you said). I think you are missing a real opportunity to secure LU's with your H and have fun for yourself.

I tell ya, I dont always have a 'burning' passion, but when I dont, I have an intense interest in keeping sex fun and exciting FOR BOTH OF US. If I feel things are getting a little 'rutish' I try to shake things up. Just once in a while, every month or so, make a specific effort to do something fun and out of the normal.

Even if YOUR urge to do this isnt what it used to be, I'd bet you have a good time when you DO do these things... (sounded like you did <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ) I'm still giggling, btw.

Sponteneously OS him in the car! H & I hike, and I'll drag him off the trail and *&$@#&#* him when he's least expecting it. You'd be amazed how little it would take to keep it going. Dont underestimate the power of an enthusiastic BJ <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .

Just my 2 cents, but for me, this is an EASY way to fill my H's Love Bank. And the funnest of all his EN's to meet <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

Heck, girl, YOU started this tread, but your saying you want to go back to 'normal'... why is that? I'd think of all people, you have 'seen the light'. Beats having an H with DS as his top need... lets see, I can dust or *&^*... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Just wondering why you'd want to go back??? Thanks - Dru

<small>[ May 14, 2004, 01:57 PM: Message edited by: Drucilla ]</small>

Well Dru Hon, I am 53, you are 35...(grin)

But you will be surprised how good sex can be after menopause...It is so wonderful not having those ole rotten periods anymore!
We may get older but our libido stays young, IF we keep desire and passion in our hearts for our mates! (Unfortunately, sometimes that passion and desire get directed to an OP.)

My H and my sex life is still good, just maybe not as GREAT as it was from July to December of last year!

So you think doggy-style from the car would be a funny sight? I am 5'tall, 137 lbs. so it worked pretty well....giggle.....
It would have been really funny if we had been arrested for trespassing as we were parked back behind a farmer's barn in an unfamilar territory! They would have thought, what is this 53 year old lady and this 54 year old man doing??

I think all married couples should have some car sex...Most affairs, I imagine, have sex in the car as they can't go to one another's homes and they probably wouldn't be able to get away with going to a motel...not very often anyway.
But what do I know?

Love, Julie <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I need some help here folks.

This thread sounds like the only reason a S would have an A is if the BS is not meeting their SF needs.

I will honestly believe that I have been a wonderful wife as far as SF goes. I will try anything once and chances are I will love it. I read books and rent movies to learn new approaches. I've got more toys then I can count....and not just for me...I have them for him because he loves this. I do the sexy lingerie and I do the role playing. If he likes it I'll find a way to blow his mind with it. I'm always ready and willing and to be honest I was the one that would go unsatisfied to meet his fantasies. And not to sound like a big head here but I'm nice to look at. I take care of my body and I take care of myself.

I've seen posts from other BSs on here that are just like me. I know I didn't dream reading those posts.

So to say that the OWomen out there are the only ones going out of their way to meet our H's needs is insane.

That email disgusts me. This woman is writing this to a man who is married...where are her morals? Trash! Trash! I tell ya.

Dear Heroswife.
I believe the 37 year old woman that was writing those e-mails, the lady my husband was involved with, was ONLY thinking about herself and trying her darnest to keep him interested.
She never gave much of a thought that OM was married and she does not know me!

It saddens me MORE when best friends have an affair with their best friend's mate!
At least this OW was a STRANGER to me!

I think sex generally has a big part in affairs.
And not because they are not getting sex at home, but somehow that other woman makes them FEEL so doggone special, like a hero or superman.

The OW shows him SO MUCH admiration; maybe we don't show that so much. (I lacked there!)

You say you and your H have a good sex life.
But perhaps there is something else he needs such as the admiration or maybe he feels he is not the head of the home.
Who knows?
The reasons are as foggy as their thinking!

Actually there are no good reasons.
For sure there is no EXCUSE for anyone to have an affair.
Sincerely, Julie

<small>[ May 14, 2004, 02:35 PM: Message edited by: Blessed TIME ]</small>

Hi Hero's Wife,
No, not to imply SF is the only reason, but ONE reason. And from all the post I've read, it's a pretty common reason.

Dont get me wrong, our SF was really great while my H was immersed in his addiction. I've always been a wildcat <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . I understand what you are saying. You say A's arent always about sex, H says his porn wasnt about sex! Now if having an affair and using porn arent about SEX then what's a poor BS to think? It took me a good while to get a handle on that.

Sounds like you've got a great attitude about sex. Bet I have more toys <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> , although they are gathering dust lately. But there there when we want them. HW, I meant no disrespect.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It would have been really funny if we had been arrested for trespassing as we were parked back behind a farmer's barn in an unfamilar territory! They would have thought, what is this 53 year old lady and this 54 year old man doing??
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Now THERE'S a story to tell at the anniversary party <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . I'm also glad to hear I've got something to look forward to! My periods have never been an issue, but I wont miss them when they're gone. Glad to hear you havent gone all the way back to routine... it's so much fun... I never want it to get dull. Thank you - Dru

Blessed Time -

You said:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> the lady my husband was involved with </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Rest assured...she is no lady. You are too sweet to refer to her as such. A lady would not have done what she did and the truest test would have been her apologizing for her wrong doing and asking for forgiveness.