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Okay, I was intending to plan A really hard until summer then ask him to give OW NC letter once again. That is not happening...
H left me a long note today once again blaming me for this whole mess. I cannot continue beating myself up. The whole deal is H got caught because I've told so many people about him and OW.
It's all my fault because they can't sneak around anymore...Well, now they don't have to sneak. I told him I don't want to have contact with him. If he wants to see the kids he can go through one of his parents.
Later tonight I will work on an official NC letter to him. I was very upset earlier, but now that I've calmed down, I feel a big relief. This is my time to take care of myself and my children!
Marriage builders got really hit hard in H's letter to me. He has apparently been reading everything I post. He says you are giving bad advice and that I should not tell anything about him on the internet for all to see!! Hello...does anyone out there no where I live or what our real names are? FOG TALK!
Thanks to everyone for all your help. You have helped make me strong enough to do this. My FIL is also encouraging me to stay strong. As well as my friends and other family.
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Anytime he wants to join in the discussions here, he should feel free. He should know that there are many here who would listen to him and care about what he has to say and what he is feeling.
dewt
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hurtnp, I am glad that you are strong. I pray for you. {{{{{{{hurtnp}}}}}}
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hurt, what did the note say and where is he tonight? Has he moved out tonight? What is he angry about?
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Melody,
The note said that I got bad advice when I told everyone about the A. I should have kept it between us. Also, that I should quit telling stuff about him all over the internet!
He also said that he would make it easy on me and move out june 1 (My last thread I mentioned that if he was still in contact with OW in june I was moving to Plan B). I called him and told him that we would just start plan B tonight. The kids and I would leave for the weekend and let him get gone before we return.
I also told him since he has read all my posts that he must know what No Contact means...I don't want him to call, e-mail me, or contact me in any way. If he wants to see the kids he can have his mom or dad come get them and he can get them from there.
He has tried to call me about ten times tonight and I refuse to answer his calls. I do not want to talk to him. He just wants to blame me for more, especially since I told his mom an earful...She called before I could get myself together today.
So, what is next?
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What is next?
Well, first of all, calm down. Don't let this get the better of you.
I think as far as kicking off Plan B, you may have been a little reactionary. (certainly with good cause, but still...)
Having said that, I'd say you should put some serious thought into your Plan B letter. It's supposed to be a love letter of sorts explaining how you want to have contact and you want to save your marriage. But contact with him is killing those desires (as we can see) and you need to put some distance there to protect yourself.
When you write your letter, I'd suggest you find some way to try and undo some of the damage you have done this evening. Again, that's not to say you aren't justified in your anger and reactions, because you have every right to be fed up with him right now. BUT... do you want to be right or married? He is not thinking straight right now. He's not being rational. You need to think extra straight and be extra rational to make up for it.
Fair?
No.
But keep in mind the end result you are looking for. Particularily when you write your letter.
dewt
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hurt, I know you are hurting tonight, but please slow down and wait until you are calm. Throwing him out because you are angry is not Plan B, it is just throwing him out. And that is the last thing he will remember about you before you go dark. So please sleep on this before you take any action and we can help you look at all your options. I know this is very tough on you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
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hurt, if you ever feel like talking privately because your H is reading here, please email me. dana100@cablelynx.com
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If you go into plan B, you cant post on MB anymore! I am in Plan, and I have been banned from MB from Steve Harley himself. It is only for your own protection.
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Why can't Plan Bers post on MB anymore?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> I am going to Plan B on June 1st & believe I will need this board more than ever!
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by betrayed by 2: <strong> Why can't Plan Bers post on MB anymore?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> I am going to Plan B on June 1st & believe I will need this board more than ever! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Only Plan Bers whose WS's read or post here shouldn't post anymore. If you are in Plan B and your spouse is reading your posts, then it defeats the entire purpose of your Plan! HTH <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
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what happened this weekend...?
ark
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Hi, thinking of you. Hope things are going ok with you.
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