I tried this in the Plan A/ Plan B forum but looks like everyone left so I'll try here:

I feel ready to jump into Plan B with both feet but we have children. The temporary custody order lets me have them the first 6 weeks of their summer vacation which starts next week but she gets every other weekend and we have to make the exchange. I am helping coach my oldest sons baseball team and WW will be at the games. We live in a small town (population 6,000) and there just dosen't seem to be any escaping her. I would love to send her a PBL and have NC til she is ready to work things out but I can't imagine how it would be possible. Any suggestions?

As far as kids go...you need to find an intermediary to handle all correspondence between you and wife. You will leave kids with the IM and vice versa, if that doesn't work out, have kids wait in front of house while she drives up and vice versa, that is the way I have had to do it, cuz none of my in town friends like my idea of the plan B thing.

the games, I dont know about that one. right now, my WH and I are switcheing off games with our son. He takes him one and then I take him to one. I do the practices.

Other OT's will be along to help you out here.I am just starting out in it. Good luck!

Thanks Momto3boys. Dropping them off in the driveway is difficult with our youngest. He is physically handicapped and can't walk. WW's vision seems to be that we get the D and act friendly for the sake of the kids. I can't think D and friendly. All or nothing one way or the other. I love my W but can't act happy with her being a WW and the destruction to our family and marriage.

Dearjeff, WS's often want to be "friends" for the "sake of the children." Translation: they want to use the children to shut you up and avoid the consequences of their shabby behavior. They want you to pretend like everything is lovely so they don't have to face the destruction they have left in their path.

So you are right, she is not your "friend," she is your estranged wife who wreaked much destruction on your family.

I hear you Jeff! My WH wants to be "friends" if we D as well! he says I will get over it!

Is there an intermediary you can use as the drop off and pick up place? It is imperative that you two NOT see or speak to each other in Plan B. What about your church? You might want to consider diong the Plan B after baseball season is ovver, cuz that will be hard on you especially. Each time WW sees you, she will get her "fix" therefore making it easier to go back to the A. How long have you been in Plan A? I'm sorry, i dont know your story...I have been banned from the boards an dtherefore havne't been around much.

Jeff, yes it is possible to do Plan B with children. It can be difficult, but it can be done.

If your son has mobility, he can make it up the driveway. Maybe it'll be with his crutches/in his chair... but isn't it time for him to learn this stuff anyway? He's got a decade to learn to get around without you helping him every moment. Probably it's wise for him to learn it now.

And yes, it would be better if you had a transition location -- friends or family -- where both your kids could stay so that you didn't have to interact with your wife. If you can do that, that would be great.

Intermediaries are important to this whole process, so yes, you'll need a good one. Pick someone who can be ojective and calm with both of you, if you can.

And lastely... the goal of Plan B is to protect you and your wife. If you're both at a baseball game and you're coaching, then you -coach-. She and the rest of the parents shouldn't be interacting with you anyway. Before and after the game, you're simply busy with coaching duties and not available to talk to her. If she walks up to you and starts a conversation, then you say, politely, "Sorry, can't talk right now. See you later!" And walk away. No scene, no yelling because she didn't do what you asked... you just walk away.

And if anyone asks, you explain exactly why you've taken this step.

Thanks guys. I have been racking my brain to come up with an intermediary and have a couple of ideas, I will check with them. Games will be tough but doable. I have SAA ordered, maybe that will help too.