I posted this on the Plan B thread but I really need some insight as to how I am going to do this Plan B again. I think it honestly might be too late for our marriage now as he has told me several times that he doesn't see it working out between us. But we had a good family day yesterday and nothing was said at all about our M or our R, so it was a good place to leave things. If you could help me out with how to do plan B now without messing this up please. Whilst he was mowing the lawn I got in his car and noticed that he had his overnight bag in it covered with some stuff so I couldn't see it. I unzipped it and all of the letters I have ever written him were piled on the top of it. I am wondering now if he showed them to OW or just didn't want to leave them laying at his brothers house. There has to be a reason why he has them in his bag. Anyway here is my post:

Hello all,

I didn't give the PBL as planned. I just couldn't do it. He was here mowing the lawn and stuff. He mowed until really late, came in and ate dinner with us. Then we all piled in my truck and went to the ice cream store and had ice cream as a family again. It was a nice thought I left him with, so on Wed. I am going to just leave DS at my moms with the PBL in DS bad and get out of dodge. It begins there.

I have no idea how I am going to work this Sat. coming up out in Plan B though, as I am going away WH is supposed to come in the morning around 10 to do more yard work whilst I pack to leave. Then I am leaving and won't be back until Mon. He is going to stay with the kids here at the house until I get back. Any suggestions? Plan B is hard with all this yard work and no money to pay anyone.

HINY

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Thanks PEP

I think you are right, I wasn't going to contact him at all over the weekend I am going on my trip. I am taking my cell phone only and said leave a message if an emergency arises. It might be easier to PLAN B after I return that Mon. Just give the PBL again and send him packing, then he will have had a little taste of home again after staying here for the weekend by himself with the kids instead of at his brothers house. I think that is a perfect plan the more I think about it. Thanks so much for you great input, don't know where I would be without it at this point my my life, along with everyone elses ongoing support. This stuff really sucks and it is hard not to get caught in the vacuum sometimes.

HINY

Enjoy your trip.

Pamper yourself a little every day.

That's also part of Plan B... self pampering.

Just get started on the pampering a week early!

Pep

Thanks PEP

You are right!

I am in Plan Me!

I am going to take care of me, if I don't who will?

HINY

HINY ..just wanted to wish you a nice relaxing time away from all the turmoil...try to have some fun hon and I will be thinking of you... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Add another one to Plan Me huh, I'm telling you it's good to be in Plan Me. I just hope no one thinks that Plan Me is selfish. LOL

Hi Tinman,

No one thinks you are selfish at all. If anything you are the total opposite of selfish. I think that for all of us to be sitting here with all this pain in our hearts and turmoil in our lives is far from selfish. It is time to take care of me, and for you to take care of you for once.

NO,

I am going to have a great time by myself, doing things I enjoy for three whole days. Alone, no kids, no A, no OW, just me and me and me. Thanks.

HINY

I order you to go have fun. Have a good time.

Thanks Tinny,

And whilst I am alone praying for guidance I will pray for you all also, and I will have a michelob light for you all also. I will not forget my fellow mates with the broken hearts as well.

HINY

PEP,

What should I do until Plan B starts again? Should I Plan A really good? Should I pretend he doesn't exsist? Should I leave saucy messages on his cell messenger? Should I do nothing at all? Should I just leave reassuring messages, such as I am here for you, or stolen from you "what can I do for you today?" It feels kind of stupid to say or do any of those things to someone that doesn't want you.

What is your take on what I should do until next Mon. when I come back? All others please feel free to just let me have it full bore...... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . I can take it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

HINY

What should I do until Plan B starts again?

I would be polite.

I would not go out of my way to meet his needs. But if it seems like the expedient thing to do, I might meet his needs if it pleased me to do so.


I would not go out of my way to have deep meaningful conversations about the relationship. I would joyfully engage in any fun or intellectual conversation on just about any other subject of my liking.

I would avoid any arguements if at all possible. I would excuse myself politely, and leave his presence if I felt a desire to argue.

I would be cheerful.

I would be engagingly illusive.

I would not speak encouragingly or disencouragingly about the marriage, because I would avoid all R talk.

I would hum, whistle or sing to myself whenever he was around.

I would smile like the Mona Lisa.

Pep

Thanks PEP,

The receipt thing is good actually! I am diggin that a lot. I don't think I will have to worry about the arguing thing as we don't and never have. I think that was most of our problem in our marriage.

I think the hum, and whistle and excuse myself from the house for the day is the best thing I can do. He will wonder about me, and I will be not worrying about him.

Thanks ever so much PEP!

HINY

HINY,
You have been so strong, so patient and so resilient. I haven't got any advice for you, but will pray for your H to stay.
Hang in there!