Thinking of you.....

Pep

Thank you, Pep -

I haven't been able to post, but thank everyone for their prayers. We have had a busy weekend - YS First Holy Communion.

Yesterday, the hospice said they think my mom will probably die today or tomorrow - the family are waiting with her. H is crying a lot. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Will come back to you all later, but thank you.

LIR

Dona nobis pacem
Pacem, pacem
Dona nobis pacem

Thoughts and prayers are with you, LIR.
Fishwife

I can imagine a very large room. I can see people gathering to celebrate a new birth.

Your brother is there, and your grandmother. Many, many people are gathered, all of whom know, and love your mother. I can see one who stands out among them, he has the bearing of a great prince - or a king. I see him greet your mother - embrace her, and welcome her. I see tears in her eyes, and she says "I didn't know."

I see him welcome her and tell her "that's why I am here."

There is joy in the room when she arrives. Everyone else rushes over to greet her.

"It's been so long" some of them say. "We have missed you."

I see some express their concern for those left behind,- your name is mentioned - and your sister's name.

The Prince of Peace assures them that you will be watched over, and taken care of. They know he tells the truth, for he cannot lie. They are happy, and their concern fades, their joy at seeing their friend increases.

The celebration continues, your mother has finished her journey on earth. For the first time in many months, she is at peace.

May you find the peace that you seek also.

SS

<small>[ May 18, 2004, 10:44 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

Thank you all so much.

Just to let you know my mom passed away yesterday at about 8:50 AM California time. Her sister was with her - the one she was closest to. My aunt told us that she told her that if she saw a light, to start moving towards it if she wanted to, but if she wasn't ready, not to worry, that was OK, too. She hd to let go of her hand to dial my sister, so everyone could get over there, and when she looked back, she was gone, in that moment when she let go of her hand. She died peacefully. My aunt said there was a great sense of peace in the room

Thank you all for your prayers.

LIR

LIR,
May your family and your memories give you comfort and peace. I am thinking of you. I am so sorry about your Mum.
God Bless
Fishwife

LIR,

Prayers with you and your family. Your mother will rest peacefully in GOD's arm. Love and hugs.

Thank you so much, FW and lostnhurt -

I believe as well, that Mom is now in the loving arms of God. My sister says she KNOWS Mom is HAPPY now.

I was a mess yesterday, but today, I'm much better. H has decided he wants to come to LA and play for her Memorial, which will be on Memorial Day, which I am so happy about - he needs to do this for himself, (and for me, although I would understand if he couldn't go) - we found someone to look after the kids, and we'll go next Thursday, and come back on Wed.

I can't post any more because I am at work, but I wanted to say thank you for all the support everyone has offered me here. It has made a real difference in my life, and because of it, H and I are together at this time, for which I am unspeakably grateful.

LIR

Bleesings to you and yours LIR....

may you find comfort in this time of loss..

ARK

Thank you, ark, so much.

I'm doing OK - I guess I am feeling a real sense of Mom's release from suffering - she hated being sick so much, I am so glad that she is not going through that any more. I am not dwellling right now on the unfairness of it all, although it is unfair. I hate death. Death is cruel.

But I wanted to share with you that I did get a chance to say goodbye to my mom on the Sunday before she died. I called my sister's house - it was very late at night there, and my BIL told me she was sitting with Mom at the hospice, so I called my sister there on her cellphone. She said Mom was sleeping very deeply and peacefully, in no pain in other words, although her breathing was very uneven and ragged. I said I was worrying about Mom - that she might be worried about me, and the fact that she refused to say goodbye to me the last time she saw me, she might be feeling like she missed her chance to say something to me, since she has been so much in denial. My sister said, well I could hold the phone up to her ear and you could just tell her whatever you want to say to her - I said I didn't want to wake her up. My sister said that she didn't think Mom would wake up because she hadn't moved for hours. So I said go ahead, and she held the phone up to her ear and said Ok go ahead. I said "Mom, this is C. and I just want to tell you how much I love you, and that I am thinking of you every MINUTE..." All at once her voice came on the phone and she groaned - she couldn't say the words, but she said "Uh-uh-uh, Uh-uh-uh!" And I knew instantly she was saying "I love you, I love you!" It was like she was calling to me as she was going away - I have been blessed with a mother who told me she loved me countless times, and so I recognized the inflections and that there were three syllables and I know that's what she said to me. My sister and I were both amazed, because as soon as she said it, she was "gone" again. She didn't respond to anyone after that.

Now, days after she has gone, I feel how right she was to refuse to say goodbye to me - because she didn't have to - there is no need to say goodbye - she said to me the only thing that matters - "I love you" - and that love lives on between us even though we are in different places now. And now I am so grateful to her for not saying goodbye to me, because I have no memories of sad partings, only loving ones.

I'm going to miss her.

LIR

<small>[ May 21, 2004, 06:19 PM: Message edited by: Lady_In_Red ]</small>

LIR

Prayers to you and your family. I know what you mean about being in peace when one is sick. I have gone through this also. It is bitter sweet. You are happy they are not suffering anymore, but sad they are gone. May god bless you and your mother and family. I am so glad you found peace with her before the Lord took her. This was very important for you to go on with life. I know you will move wonderfully through life now knowing that she loves you to this day as she is looking down on you.

HINY