My H is finally calling it quits after years of trying to get back together.
I am hurt and know that I have no reason to be.
He has every reason to walk away.
I can't seem to let him go.
We had been talking about getting back together for awhile now. I have not really commited to anything out of fear. I would have had to relocate and finding a job where he lives has been hard. I put in applications everywhere.
He wanted to me to just move without finding work first. He was unsure about his job situation and his living situation has been a little unstable. He lives in a 2 bedroom and we would have had to many people living in a small apartment. The chances of him getting kicked out were great and I was also afraid he would have lost his family support as well.
I took all the steps to get OM out of my life. I have had contact because we share a child together. I have not been with OM in almost a year now. I have finally let go of that part of my life. I did so for myslef, my husband and my children. Now I am left with H not wanting to get back together and moving on.
It is painfull and I am totally freaking out at this point.
I can't stop crying. I can't stop calling him all the time. I don't want to bother him, I know this is what he has to do to live again.
I have given in nothing and now all I want to do is give him everything and its too late.
I don't want to drive myself or him crazy, we have all been through enough.
How can I get through this without totally loosing it.

Lady,

I had to answer you because you seem like you are in so much pain. I am not well versed on MB principles, so what I have to say may seem simple.

On the outside it seems simple. If you want your marriage, go get it. Your H seemed like he was receptive not too long ago. Why does he not just move home with you? Can he get another job?

I am sorry I dont know your story. I know you are in lots of pain. Lots of cyberhugs coming your way(((())))

Well could it be that it is just your time in life to free of a lot of the chaos...and just be there for your children...

that it is perhaps time to focus on them...and not on any type of relationship with husband or OP that this time...

where should you live so that your childrens needs are best met by the adults in their lives...

does the OM see his child..
do you have the children and does your husband see them..or does he...

where can live so that you are logistically nearest to the most positive influences....for your children...

maybe it's time to quit talking about anything...and just start healing and loving all the children...

what do you thin?

ark