I am an old friend/new name. My WH spent lots of time on here this past weekend so I moved to another neighborhood <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> . However I missed everyone over here so much (ML you give such great advice). I am afriad I will post something that WH will read and ruin my chances.

Update - my WH received his NC letter from OW. He did not mention it to me but left it on the counter at my home. (for those of you who don't know, he moved out almost 3 weeks ago). He has spent numberous hours over here reading posts and information (I am guessing a plus huh?). After he tucked the kids in last night he asked me if I wanted to talk before he left. I said sure. He asked me about my conversation with OW and I told him briefly and then changed the subject. We then talked about everything from his job hunt to selling my house and moving. It was a very positive conversation but then he started talking about when he moves into his rental house and that his friends mom would help him buy a house (but he said he was not ready to buy anything for a long time). He did not once talk about D, which has been his topic of conversation for the last 3 weeks. I feel so hopeless when he talks like this. I know I need patience and that this is a marathon not a sprint but I keeping feeling hopeless.

Obviously I need to stick with Plan A (which I have to keep reminding myself). I am just feeling so stinking hopeless. Seems like I am in need of constant encouragement <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

i'm really feeling the same way. i feel like i'm really needy and greedy w/getting support from here and others (see my new thread today for instance). but I als know that we have all experienced the feelings of hopelessness and how can people support us if we don't let them know we need it? of course God knows we need it and you can never go wrong w/asking him. prayers to you.

RR - I will go check out your new thread. I feel really needy right now. Wanting support. MelodyLane has given me some great advice here and lots of hope. I feeling like my situation is getting better (maybe) but I just have such a hard time feeling positive. I am all about the suggestions on how to stay positive during Plan A. I think from my previous post that there are some positives but I have trouble focusing on them.

I have the lack of focus syndrome, lack of patience syndrome, and of course the lack of faith syndrome. I think I should be on drugs <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

well i'm sure that increasing your faith will in turn increase your focus and patience. but i know that's easier said then done. thank you for reading my post and replying.

I'm feeling just like you ladies. My H and I will be separated for 4 yrs b/c he is incarcerated. Right before he went to jail we were working on recovery. Obviously not that well b/c he ended up in jail burgarlizing homes while I was in Plan A/B. Ahhh...at first I felt like I didn't belong here b/c afterall I'm working on recovery alone & I really don't have a M right now. Feel like I'm married to god these days.

God bless you ladies...I hope there will be a way we can all feel complete again someday...I myself am feeling really needy these days too. I'm afraid my neediness is putting ideas in my head that shouldn't be there so I started a thread myself. Hoping to find away to deal with my loneliness.

I know from experience Plan A is hard having hope, my H is bipolar so it was harder then I could have ever emagioned. It wasn't until he was incarcerated that I figured out his mental health issues. All I can say is I don't know where I'd be without god and all that he has blessed me with...(MB, friends, family...my job) I'm afraid I'd end up with a nervous breakdown.

Strength -

I am so sorry about your situation. Are you an your husband still working things out even though he is incarcerated?? God will help you through this. I believe that no matter what. I am praying for you.

It is hard to stick to a good Plan A when WH is not in the house or living at home. Be strong.

Thanks HavingHope...yes I am sticking by his side. I am doing just that "having hope". We have opened a huge door communicating by our letters and telephone calls in the last 3 months.
He always looked at me like a judge in our M. Never admitted his mistakes, never confinded in me for much of anything. Recently he started trusting me enough to allow me to know details about his lies...about his A's...things that would have hurt so bad to hear of..but b/c he is opening that door to me. Trusting me enough to allow me to know the truth. (while not fearing it will add fuel to the "fire" & make me feel like I want to give up on him for sure. 2 mo EA before PA that he originally stated was a ONS..4 total in the last 5 yrs)

For a man who is in jail, has done so much to compromise his family ...let alone M..this is a huge thing for me ...for us. To open up this door of communication. Letting go of the guilt and allowing me to forgive.

So..we are working on it..working on recovery as a long distance relationship.
Thank you for your prayers..mine will be with you also...I'm staying strong

I believe so much in the comment RoughRoad said...increasing your faith..leads you to so many new avenues during your walk through these tough obstacles. It is much easier said then done, but to trust that someone else (God) is in control of your needs even when you feel you don't need them or they aren't wanted...& he finds that special way to forfill them for you. It is wonderful, I pray he will lessen your burdens also. Good luck ...& you keep that HOPE