Low I'd like to thank you for your post in 3's topic. I did vent there, I don't like the fact that I am going to have to do some of the things to save my M with my W, but I will do them because I love her that much. It will be a difficult task, but one of the things that I will be able to thank my W for one way or another is that if it wasn't for our situation I would never have found this websight and learned a great deal from it. I would also not have found out about my part in her A, I would have put all the blame on her, I do think my W has some issue's that she has to fix. Her family life wasn't that great. Her Mom and Dad live together and that's about it no love involved. I think this is one of my W worries that we were headed in that direction. I also think my W like's that first feeling of love but that's not real love and we all know this love is actions not a feeling of course I could be way off on this. I thank you agian for opening my eyes up with your post I feel kinda sheepish right now.

No need to feel sheepish. Everyone needs to vent. While I was sincere in what I posted, I thought it may have come across too harsh.

I've thought alot about what humility really is and realized that part of my recovery was realizing that it is distinctly different from humiliation. I had been living in humiliation and shame for what I had done. I beat myself up for a long time. But then I realized that not forgiving myself was really another escape mechanism I was using to avoid living up to the life God gave me. The depth of my wife's love and forgiveness truly humbled me as well. She had to drop her defenses and change a lot about herself to fix our relationship. The fact that she did it willingly and enthusiastically because she loved me, even though it wasn't fun, spoke volumes to me.

I was all prepared for the battle. She took the wind out of my sails and showed me something completely different.

I have learned everything about mercy, grace, humility, and forgiveness from her. If I was to pick someone who has shown me the heart of God, it would be her.

Low

low, when i read your post in 3's topic, i too wanted to respond to you. i thought it was wonderfully worded. and i wanted to thank you as well. i understand the need to vent, i do it sometimes myself. but what is really productive and helpful to me is the people who continue to nudge me to improve myself and not focus on desired improvements for H.