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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 40
J
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J Offline
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 40
Like Binder, I've done a little picking and choosing through other letters and have come up with this one. My love for my WH have dropped below a recognizable level at this time - please let me know if it shows in the letter - This is suppose to be a love letter of sorts, right? Thanks.

My Dear H,
I apologize to you for my part in creating an environment that helped make your affair with OW possible. I have a tendency to hear what I want to accept and ignore what I don't want to accept. In addition, I've had difficulty expressing my feelings honestly. My actions have not enabled us to build a strong foundation for our courtship and marriage.

H, I am willing to avoid the mistakes that were made in the past and help make our marriage together stronger and closer than we ever thought possible. With all my heart, I would like to build a new marriage with you, one in which we both feel loved, safe, cherished and honored. We can only rebuild our marriage...together...when you completely end your relationship with OW.

The pain that I have been undergoing since the onset of your relationship with OW is unbearable. Therefore, to perserve the love that I have for you and to maintain my sanity, I feel I must break off all contact with you. I feel it is best for me to find another place to stay to be closer to my family for support during this time. I will maintain the primary care of our children and I do not wish for your bond with the children to suffer any more than necessary due to the circumstances. Communication regarding visitation and finances will be handled through my sister.

I ask you to respect my decision to separate this way because I can't be with you any longer knowing that you are going to be communicating and seeing OW. As soon as you are willing to permanently separate from OW and are willing to follow the measures that were suggested by the counselor to ensure total separation, I will be willing to discuss our future together.

I want to be able to rebuild our marriage and be the family we talked about and have been working towards thus far. Changes have already been occurring which give me hope and from our last conversation, you are just as hopeful. I'm going to take time now and "build" myself, so that I can continue to be a strong mother for our children.
With My Love,
W

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,925
L
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Posts: 1,925
J, it is a good one. From what I read of others, expert's opinion is that it is too long. WS's attention span is like a child now, they don't have the patience to finish reading it.

Make it shorter and to the point:

Acknowledge your mistake
I love you
no contact
willing to build the M once seperated with OW.

This is my 2cents

Joined: May 2004
Posts: 679
C
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Posts: 679


<small>[ November 07, 2004, 11:56 AM: Message edited by: cipher ]</small>

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
I think it is pretty good. I gave my WH mine, and referred to it a couple months later, and WH said "what letter?" And I have only sent him one. So it is good to make it as short as possible.

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 424
H
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 424
looks great to me.. I am not there yet, I hope I won't have to ever write that letter! But, since you are there, and had the courage to do it, bigups for you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> The last paragraph is not really necessary. just cut that out.. and ad the "I LOVE YOU"

GROS BISOUX***


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