I will be married to my husband for 12 years this year, and find myself no longer in love with my husband.We have five beautiful kids ages 8-16, a set of twins included, and the 16 year old with a different dad from the others.Just last year my oldest found out whom her real father was, and her real father just found out she even exsisted. My oldest always knew she had a different dad, but wasn't aware who he was all these years. Needless to say I have came in to close contact with him, and now find myself in an intimate relationship with him once again. We had lots of unfinished business from back in the day. It feels so good to talk to him ,and express feelings to him that I didn't back then. He wasn't ready to settle down at the time, so I never even told him I was carrying his baby. He was very hurt by this, but forgiving to me,also apoligetic to me for not paying attention to the love I had for him then. The really bad part is this person and myself grew up together, we have known each other for over 25 years now. We communicate on a day to day basis, and have fallen in love with each other and have had several sexual encounters. We both realize what we have done is wrong, and he doesn't want to break up my marriage/family,but at the same time I don't feel as if I want to be married anymore. He is a very changed person from back then, and wants to live the right way, by not sleeping with a married woman. I have been acting very selfish with my husband;with-holding sex, lots of anger when we are together,etc...Finally, my husband asked if I was seeing someone else, and i replied "yes", not giving truthful details. He has know idea who this person is,and i never plan to give up that much information. Above all my husband is forgiving and want to keep our marriage together. I'm trying to work on it ,but right now I don't know how to break my relationship/communication off with my lover. Help!!!!!!!!!

You are in a tough situation, but I'm glad you are here. Many of us here are the BS, so if you get some strong emotions thrown at you realize it's emotions created from our own situations.

That being said I want to challenge somethings that you wrote...you said you don't know how to end things? I think you do, and that is why you are here. You will receive endless support in making youir M work here. But I would venture to guess you want the best of both worlds, you want your M and you want to continue a R with the OM. That can't happen, and that is why you are confused. Once you began an inappropriate R with your DD's father as a M lady, you gave up the option to ever be friends with him again, and remain M.

Yes, your M needs help. M often will begin to stagnate with neglect, especially when childcare has become a priority. Dr. Harley has a plan to return love to a M, and gives couples the formula. You CAN fall in love with your H again, and your M can be better than before. Send your H here to. Read about the principles on the website, order the books.

But first, you have to truly make up your mind and commit to your M. That means giving up the OM entirely. Don't want to? Living a life with OM and having the guilt and shame of leaving your family for the rest of your life is probably not what you want either...

Thanks for the wonderful advice out there, and it's good to know people like you are out there for much needed support.

Thanks for the wonderful advice out there, and it's good to know people like you are out there for much needed support.