I posted a message on here yesterday Jealousy....I want to thank you for helping me just be able to vent a little. I probably should have mentioned that I am currently seeing a therapist for depression and social anxiety and panic attacks. I seem to be making alot of progress but this has sent me back to the begining...I have been trying to figure out the email of the OW for 2 weeks now and finally this morning I sent one to her and it didnt come back so I assume I finally got the email right. Now my question is this. I am not telling my husband I did this, he is suppose to be having no contact with her and it is over so he should never no that I did this. So what do I do if he questions me on it? I feel like saying listen I know I am not perfect but you are the one that went running to someone else just when I was trying to work on some of my emotional baggage. the only problem with that is that I am afraid that he will leave, I love him and dont want him to leave I think that is why I have been so afraid to say anything to him. If you dont understand what I am talking about please go read Jealousy. I am so torn right now on what to do. I called my therapist today and couldnt get in any earlier than next week, I dont know how I am going to make it till then, I dont want to discuss this with family or friends cause if we work it out I dont want there to be any hard feelings toward my husband. We went to lunch today and my daughter said my friends mamaw was dateing a man off the internet and come to find out he was married. I just lost it, I said well maybe she knew some woman can just be "bitties" I was so afraid to look at my husband cause I know that he knew why I got so upset so I just grabbed his hand and didnt say anything or look at him. sorry for rambling but I honestly have no one to talk to, and I feel as though I am losing it.

EDITED

<small>[ September 14, 2004, 03:27 PM: Message edited by: Tenn25 ]</small>