My WW have a 7 year anniversary of our first date on Monday. I'm not sure what I should do. I obviously want to recognize it, but how. My wife is not exactly committed to us. I thought about just buying her some roses and giving her a card. The card would maybe just say something about when we met and our first night out. A kind of remember when type thing. I thought I would finish with how if I had to go back I would still choose to be with her. Any comments? How have others treated Anniversaries? What would you do?

THe card & roses idea sounds good to me, I don't know your story but you may not want to push. Are you following Plan A?

My anniversary is Tuesday, 8 yrs. We plan to go out to dinner but we have never exchanged gifts so we won't do that. Last year was our fist anniversary after DDay. We went to dinner but didn't do much else, it was uncomfortable for both of us. I wanted to go away for the weekend but he wouldn't leave his DD. This yr. I wanted to go away but time & $ wouldn't allow it. I have a feeling dinner is going to be a problem on Tuesday.

Well Happy Anniversary, I hope all goes well for you.

Thanks! Happy Anniversary to you also! I don't want to push my W. I don't think this would be productive. I do think I will give her roses and card Monday morning at breakfast. Then I may ask her if she would like to go to dinner that night. It doesn't hurt to ask right!

I think that is a great idea.

I was gonna post on your other thread about wedding rings, my H started taking his ring off & on during A. Soon after DDay he took it off all together, put it in the ash tray in his car. I had it at one point while we were separated, but gave it back, I believe he pawned it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> Cares a lot about our vows huh? I recently asked him if I bought him a new one would he wear it & he said he didn't know????? That hurt. I thought of buying it anyway, but why set myself up for more hurt.

Thanks for the well wishes, I hope you have many many more anniversaries. Try not to push her & follow Plan A if at all possible. I have found in this journey the BS has to have the patience of a Saint. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I also hope we have many more anniversaries and you as well!!! This is just the first one we haven't both been "in" it. I have been trying to plan A. I think it is a good one. I will have to post what I have been doing in plan A one day to get it evaluated by others. Any way I am trying to stay positive and want to make Monday a positive day. From what I've been told from my W mother and sister 7 year anniversaries are always the ones to watch. They either make or break a couple. If you get past this one relationships will keep going. That is just what they say here(I am in Europe).

I pray your right. I am here in the states & supposedly if you get past the 7 yr. itch you are doing well, I think this may be my last yr. M.

I tried that is all I or anyone can do.

I don't really know your story either. But I hope it is not true what you say about last yr. M. At least if you want to be M. You seem to have made it a long way to give up now. I mean you have a whole year of being together after Dday. Again I don't know what has happened in that time. Have you and your WS both been trying? What have you been doing? Anyway I still hope both of us have many more happy anniversaries in our marriages.

Staggered,
Do everything you can to reach out to your W. Let me ask you a quetion to think about. Is she a WW or a W? What I am saying is that if she has broken contact and is coming back to the M, try to put it behind you. Try to look forward. If she is no longer wayward, then she is your W again. She will go through a tremendous amount of guilt and she will think lowly of herself, especially around you. So don't take it as rejection if she is not fully responsive yet. You can tell her you love her all you want, but your love in action will speak volumes. Go all out, but do it in a way that you don't add to her guilt. She needs your love and your patience. She needs your 100% commitment and your acceptance. I hope it goes well for you. Recovery is not for the weak. You need to be strong and resolved.

You seem to have a good grasp of what to do, I just want to encourage you. I hope it goes well, but even if it doesn't, you are heading in the right direction.

Christ's Love,
Roman121

Our 17th anniversay is July 15th, she and other man are scheduled to go on a cruise a couple of days later. I am sure that, if she is even remotely thinking of ending her A with him, she will wait till after their vacation together. DV- day is just a couple of weeks after that. I have thought about asking her out to dinner on our anniversary but I'm trying to keep contact to a minimum for now. We have over a month till aniversary day, guess we'll see what developes.

Thanks for the reply and encouragement. You ask a good question and one I'm not sure I can answer. I want to believe my W is not a WW anymore but contact has resumed or maybe never stopped. you can see my posts from earlier today. But I do try to let my actions speak for my love for her as we have never really said we love each other in words. I am trying to do my best and will continue to do so. Thanks again.

Well, Thanks to everyone for the comments. It is about time for me to go to bed. If anyone has more comments about this topic or what you've done I would greatly appreciate hearing them. I will try to check back tomorrow and definitely before Monday. Thanks again and have a great weekend.

my 11year anniversary is next month and i have discussed what to some of my plans were w/steve harley from MB and have heard similar things here.

"reminding" them (the WS) about the date and what you were doing this time X amount of years ago and that you would do it all over again.

keep it simple and genuine (some times you can say ILY too much and it just sounds fake) and continue to follow your words w/actions. keep us posted on how it turns out. prayers to you.

The truth about H's A began dribbling out in January. Our anniversary was in March. I decided that I didn't even want to acknowledge the day this year. H was in terrible withdrawal. I found out later he was still in phone contact with OW. Our M was a big sham over the past year and so it was easier for me to just not make a big deal of the day. H was probably relieved. I guess the bottom line is follow your gut. CV

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">But I hope it is not true what you say about last yr. M. At least if you want to be M. You seem to have made it a long way to give up now. I mean you have a whole year of being together after Dday. Again I don't know what has happened in that time. Have you and your WS both been trying? What have you been doing? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Staggered,

My DDay was almost 2yrs. ago, in that time I have endured 2 separations from my H, both times he lived w/ OW & their baby. He has now been home over a year & we have not made much progress at being in recovery mainly due to issues involving OW & the baby. I found this site 3 months ago & have tried to use MB principles but in my case I think it may be too late. I tried to do Plan A, & even wrote him a Plan B ltr. last month, he won't leave & is not trying as hard as he could to repair the damage that has been done, & I am tired of seemingly being the only one committed to working on saving this M. So that is why I say it will most likely be my last anniversary, you are right I have come to far & I don't want to give up but it seems to be my only option at this point.

I sent a balloon bouquet to my WH at work with a card. I specifically told the girl at the store that I didn't want alot of foo-foo, love you stuff, maybe just some hearts and happy stuff.
On the card I said Happy 17th anniversary and hope we can have another 17+.

He didn't get me anything, not even a card.
And I suspect that the balloons were trashed as I later found out that the OW was a coworker and so I doubt he took them in the building.
One day I'll ask him, but right now I'd prefer not to know.

He did call and thank me and in fact it was the only time he has said he loved me throughout this whole A coming to light.

Send something if you feel like it. If anything it will make you feel good that you did.

Staggered,

Spelled it right this time! My 12 anniversary is in three weeks and I plan on doing nothing. WH knows the date, but I am ready to Plan B one week after that so maybe I'm not the best person to give response. I'm so tired of planning every thing (I guess that's why I'm ready for Plan B--You will definately know!).

Just 2 weeks ago, everything was going oh so fine, then "crash." WS tried to break it off with OW and she is so000 back in the picture. I even tried to meet EN (with passionate kissing--my not initiating SF always a big problem) and what a big mistake. WH is as withdrawn and confused as ever.

So, I guess if you're in a great Plan A (I was for 5 months and now am at the end of my rope), then do as others (more calm responders) would advise.

what was the final decision?

Staggered,

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO YOU & YOURS!

I pray all is well with you both today & whatever you decided to do she appreciates it.

I had a long talk w/ H yesterday, he says he will try harder to work on US, we are still planning on going out to dinner tomorrow for our anniversary. I am a little afraid to put much hope in his words but I will keep praying for me & you!

Hope you have a wonderfully blessed day! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Just to let you know I have started a new post Anniversary Today-Update. Hope your anniversary goes extremly well Babygirl93 and I'm glad you had a good talk with your H. I hope he means it.